{"id":11296,"date":"2007-06-30T09:15:26","date_gmt":"2007-06-30T13:15:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thecarpetbaggerreport.com\/archives\/11296.html"},"modified":"2007-06-30T09:15:26","modified_gmt":"2007-06-30T13:15:26","slug":"tragically-well-always-have-paris","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/tragically-well-always-have-paris\/","title":{"rendered":"Tragically, we’ll always have Paris"},"content":{"rendered":"

Guest Post by Morbo<\/a><\/p>\n

The Carpetbagger has been remarkably restrained when it comes to [tag]Paris Hilton[\/tag]. A search of the blog shows her mentioned only in passing<\/a>.<\/p>\n

I salute him for that — and I’m not just saying that because this is his blog and I’m trying to suck up. (OK, maybe a little bit.) <\/p>\n

I tried to follow the ‘Bagger’s lead and ignore Hilton as well, but after reading Washington Post TV critic Tom Shales’ review<\/a> of her appearance on “Larry King Live,” I can’t hold it in any more. I just gotta let it out.<\/p>\n

Here’s what got me all worked up: The evil puppet masters who manage Hilton have apparently decided to play the old favorite of ex-cons everywhere \u2013 the religion card.<\/p>\n

Hilton said she read the Bible every day while in prison. When King asked her to name a favorite passage, she replied, “Hmmmm” and denied she had a favorite. It’s incredibly annoying that whoever manages this airhead actually believes the American people are dumb enough to think Paris Hilton reads anything, let alone the Bible.<\/p>\n

Hilton also hit us with this gem: “God makes everything happen for a reason.” So God made Hilton a vacuous, promiscuous nitwit? I wish King has pressed her on that one. For centuries, religious leaders, philosophers and skeptics have grappled with the question of evil in our world. Why does a kind and loving God allow children to starve to death in Sudan? Why is there war, poverty and genocide? I’d love to hear Paris Hilton’s take on this. (My guess is it would sound something like this: “Hmmmm.”)<\/p>\n

Then came the final indignation, perhaps the thing that caused me to snap.
\n
\nAccording to The Post, Hilton “told King…she wanted to use her fame to help various causes, that she sympathized with the other women she met in jail, that she now wants to be ‘a good role model’ for young women….”<\/p>\n

I have a 13-year-old daughter. No parent in his or her right mind will ever allow Paris Hilton to be viewed as a role model — expect in reverse. A few years ago, I began encouraging my daughter to read the newspaper, and she has taken up the habit with gusto. Every morning I point to the stories about Hilton and say, “See this woman? Do the exact opposite of everything she does, and you’ll be fine.” <\/p>\n

Some people have been wondering what Hilton will do now that she’s out of the hoosegow. I will tell you what she will do now: She’ll go out and get drunk at a party. Getting drunk at parties is her job. How will she get there, you might ask? I’m not sure, but I have an idea: Maybe Lindsay Lohan can give her a ride.<\/p>\n

Oh, wait….<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Guest Post by Morbo The Carpetbagger has been remarkably restrained when it comes to [tag]Paris Hilton[\/tag]. A search of the blog shows her mentioned only in passing. I salute him for that — and I’m not just saying that because this is his blog and I’m trying to suck up. (OK, maybe a little bit.) […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[617],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11296","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11296","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=11296"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11296\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=11296"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=11296"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=11296"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}