{"id":13626,"date":"2007-11-17T09:30:41","date_gmt":"2007-11-17T14:30:41","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.thecarpetbaggerreport.com\/archives\/13626.html"},"modified":"2007-11-17T09:30:41","modified_gmt":"2007-11-17T14:30:41","slug":"urgent-war-on-christmas-update","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/urgent-war-on-christmas-update\/","title":{"rendered":"Urgent ‘War on Christmas’ update"},"content":{"rendered":"

Guest Post by Morbo<\/a><\/p>\n

I hate to keep carping about the “War on Christmas,” but there have been major developments, and I believe you need to be informed.<\/p>\n

The Liberty Counsel has issued its annual “Naughty and Nice List.”<\/p>\n

This legal group, associated with Jerry Falwell before his demise, puts out a helpful list<\/a> (.pdf) advising you which retailers to avoid and which to patronize. The criterion is simple: whether the word “Christmas” is used in sales material and on websites.<\/p>\n

Unfortunately, the list does not address every issue that might confront zealous fundamentalist Christians, Bill O’Reilly and various other Christmas Nazis over the next six weeks. I want to help the Liberty Counsel in its quest to force Christmas down the throat of every American, so I’ve compiled a list of some specific situations and questions that the list fails to address:<\/p>\n

* Unnamed Retailers:<\/b> A lot of retailers aren’t even on this list. I need to know if I can patronize Meineke Mufflers next month. Little help, please!<\/p>\n

* Mixed Messages:<\/b> Some businesses are clearly trying to play both sides. Every week the gang at the Vermont Country Store sends me a catalog. Some mention Christmas on the cover, some do not. Worse yet, some use the term “Holiday” on the cover but say “Christmas” inside. Does that count? What am I to do? This list provides no guidance.<\/p>\n

* Type Games:<\/b> This list says nothing about the always-crucial issue of font size. What if the catalog uses both terms, but “Christmas” is in smaller type than “Holiday”? Is that insult to our Lord and Savior big enough to trigger a boycott?<\/p>\n

* The Greater Good Conundrum:<\/b> Here’s one for all of you Jesuits out there: Let’s say I can achieve greater good by buying something from a merchant who uses the term “Holiday.” Is it ever morally licit to do so? What if an item I want to buy is 50 percent off from a store that uses the term “Holiday”? Can I take the money saved and give it to a TV preacher — or is the money saved ill-gotten gains that would be rejected by any morally upstanding television evangelist? (I think I know the answer to this one. Operators are standing by to take your check.)
\n
\n* Suspected Tricks\/Clarence Thomas Factor:<\/b> What about retailers that use the term “Christmas” but don’t really mean it? If the local adult DVD store is having a “Christmas Sale” on sex toys, whips and dog collars, can I buy some? If going into such a shop is considered a sin but Clarence Thomas is hanging around outside, can I give him the money and ask him to pick the items up for me since I wouldn’t actually be entering the store?<\/p>\n

* Exploding Head Paradox:<\/b> Let’s say my local book store is having a “Christmas Sale.” Is it permissible to go there and buy something that makes fun of Christmas or the faith that spawned it, like a Christopher Hitchens book or this horrifying Billy Idol CD<\/a>?<\/p>\n

I’ve heard that in the Middle Ages, learned theologians spent hours debating questions like how many angels could dance on the head of a pin. We’re not getting that kind of attention to detail from today’s religious fanatics. To Liberty Counsel, I can only say that the list is not enough. Next year, send some instructions as well.<\/p>\n

P.S. This week, Pat Robertson said on “The 700 Club” that Christmas trees are not worth making a fuss over because they “come from Teutonic Paganism” and “are not an integral part of Christianity.” You know things are getting bad when even Robertson starts making sense.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Guest Post by Morbo I hate to keep carping about the “War on Christmas,” but there have been major developments, and I believe you need to be informed. The Liberty Counsel has issued its annual “Naughty and Nice List.” This legal group, associated with Jerry Falwell before his demise, puts out a helpful list (.pdf) […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[617],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-13626","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13626","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=13626"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/13626\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=13626"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=13626"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/stevebenen.com\/thecarpetbaggerreport\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=13626"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}