President of 9/11 strikes again

February 26, 2007

There’s a terrific cover story in the new issue of New York magazine on Rudy Giuliani, but like Michael Crowley, I thought this anecdote stood out. From a recent campaign event in New Hampshire:

Up on the dais, it’s Rudy’s turn to raise the subject of the terror attacks. September 11 is proving to be a versatile tool. In Delaware, he used it to invoke heroism. Here, it’s all about scaring the bejesus out of country folk. Someone asks him what his management style would be as president if there was another Katrina or terrorist attack.

The secret is to be prepared for anything, Rudy says. Terrorism can happen in New York or Boston or in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, “one of the smallest towns in the United States.”

The punchy good cheer of this small town is replaced with grave attention. Rudy notes that he once spoke to the Shanksville high-school graduating class. “But for the grace of God and the bravery of the people who brought that plane down,” he says, “those kids wouldn’t be with us.”

Tonight’s attendees, of course, have a far greater chance of being killed on an icy road on the way home tonight than via a plane falling out of the sky. But those are facts; Giuliani is playing on emotion and fear.

This is utterly shameless. Those kids at Shanksville High would have been killed on 9/11? How’s that exactly? To hear Giuliani tell it, United Flight 93 was headed, not for Capitol Hill or the White House, but for a small public school in southwest Pennsylvania. This doesn’t make any sense.

I get the distinct impression that Giuliani believes he can say literally anything about the terrorist attacks, and they should be accepted as fact, because he’s Rudy Giuliani: president of 9/11.

The Onion, a satirical publication, captured this perfectly last week.

At a well-attended rally in front of his new Ground Zero headquarters Monday, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani officially announced his plan to run for president of 9/11.

“My fellow citizens of 9/11, today I will make you a promise,” said Giuliani during his 18-minute announcement speech in front of a charred and torn American flag. “As president of 9/11, I will usher in a bold new 9/11 for all.”

If elected, Giuliani would inherit the duties of current 9/11 President George W. Bush, including making grim facial expressions, seeing the world’s conflicts in terms of good and evil, and carrying a bullhorn at all state functions.

“Let us all remember how we felt on that day, with the world watching our every move, waiting on our every word,” said Giuliani, flanked by several firefighters, ex-New York Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik, and Judith Nathan, his third wife. “With a campaign built on traditional 9/11 values, and with the help of every citizen who believes in the 9/11 dream, I want to make 9/11 great again.” […]

“Letting 9/11 fall into the hands of the Democrats in 2008 would be nothing short of a national tragedy,” Giuliani said. “Ever since 9/11 was founded that fateful day on 9/11, 9/11 has stood for one thing: 9/11.”

The Onion posted a graphic with his candidate bio that includes three central points:

* Was near World Trade Center when Twin Towers collapsed on 9/11

* Made numerous appearances on radio and television on 9/11

* Took credit for uniting city on 9/11

It was published in jest, but given what we’ve seen to date, I actually wouldn’t be surprised if the actual Giuliani campaign materials looked awfully similar.

Like somebody said, nobody would remember the date unless it was called 9/11. Giui remembers it because it was the one day New Yorkers liked him. In his case the BULLhorn is aptly named.

Thinking about the word though, bull horn, makes me think of the primitive connotations of the sacred objects of leadership. Special sticks, spears, headdresses all were the objects that leaders bore. His is the only object that SQUAWKS!

  • Rudy’s making life far too easy for comedy writers, and politics is doing a really good job of imitating comedy, or vice versa.

    I’m hoping America is past the phase when they think that a jumbo jet filled with innocent folks and terrorists will fly into their bedrooms, condos or corn silos out in nowheresville America. There’s only so long you can stay scared before you finally go numb. Soon remembering 9/11 will filed on the shelf along with remembering the Alamo, remembering the Maine, remembering Pearl Harbor and remembering Bunker Hill. Rudy can be king of 9/11 for all I care, as long as he’s not president of this nation.

  • But… but… How can the emperor of 9/11 dress in drag, tolerate gay people and be pro-choice?

    Wingnut heads will explode, releasing their toxic contents and thus endangering everyone everywhere!

  • It’s a sad commentary on our society that two of the most trustworthy and accurate news sources we have are The Onion and The Daily Show.

    My college journalism professor (who spent 40 years at the NTY before they started to suck) is rolling in his grave …

  • I think we have all learned that there is more to the job of President than being prepared for another disaster. After all, if the Republic-thugs hadn’t dismantled FEMA, the outcome in New Orleans might have been a little different. Further, if GWB had actually paid attention to his memos from all his advisors he might have known that OBL was determined to attack within the United States. I think I am not the only one who feels this way.

    If Giuliani is the best they have, they don’t have enough to win in 2008.

  • Terrorism can happen in New York or Boston or in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, “one of the smallest towns in the United States.”

    Sure it can Rudy. And if elected president you will somehow find the money to allow Shanksville to be as well protected from and prepared for Terra as NYC by…how exactly will you do it Rudy? Oops, I took your rhetoric seriously.

    I don’t know what pisses me off the more. Rudy as Corpse Pimp or the nitwits of BFE, USA who get all askeered when someone mentions terrorism. Don’t worry folks. The decadent librul snooty pants on the coasts will absorb anything the bad guys might fling at the country.

  • Im surprised he didnt announce his bid on 9/11/2006 ….

    shameless exploitation…

    The guy is an inexperienced one trick pony……

    It makes me wonder if RINO Guiliani thinks the Republican primary is going to basically boil down to which candidate can out 9/11 the other….

  • Hey, what if anything did Rudy ever do about the EPA’s lying about the toxic dust in the aftermath? Shouldn’t that be part of the story?

    Just wondering…

  • Trouble you can’t fool me I see you behind that tree
    Look out! Trouble you can’t fool me trying to get the ups on me
    Trouble you can’t fool me I see you behind that tree
    You want to jump on me
    — Ry Cooder (F. Knight, A. Varnell)

  • If Roody wants to be “Emperor of 9/11.” then let him. We are constantly bombarded with the soundbyte that we live in “a post-9/11 world;” thus we must also live in “a Post Roody World.”

    Roody Doody—the evil pudgy spawn of Howdy Doody, and blood relative of Chuckie. Where’s my torch and pitchfork?

  • Actually, Rudi was the mayor of 9-11 – not the president. But still, you’re right that his invocation of the terror threat to the Shanksville school is just bizarre. What a wierdo. However, if the terror card didn’t work so well and so many gullible people didn’t swallow it time after time, they’d stop playing it. Like negative ads, I don’t think anybody really enjoys the tactic, but it works.

  • Rudi makes it sound like 9/11 is an actual thing..a living object and not a date that happened to rain hell on New York, PA and the Pentagon. He wasn’t that great of a mayor before that day. I am so tired of polititians and FAKE NEWS trying to scare us.

  • hey Curmudgeon, thx for posting the link to 911 mysteries!! i watched it and was blown away as much as when i watched loose change. it had aspects and info that loose changed didnt include. i am convinced more now than ever that the towers were broght down by domestic and not foreign interests.

  • …Shanksville, Pennsylvania, “one of the smallest towns in the United States.”

    With a population of 245, Shanksville is indeed small. But there are thousands smaller. In my neck of the woods, we’ve got the towns of Moose Pass (pop. 206), Clam Gulch (pop. 173), and Halibut Cove (pop. 35). Though with names like those, you’d think more people would want them as an address!!

  • This is utterly shameless. Those kids at Shanksville High would have been killed on 9/11? How’s that exactly? To hear Giuliani tell it, United Flight 93 was headed, not for Capitol Hill or the White House, but for a small public school in southwest Pennsylvania. This doesn’t make any sense.
    I was born and raised in the Shanksville area. What he was referring to is something the locals talk about (speculation) if the plane had stayed in the air a few seconds longer it may have hit the town or the school (located on a hill above the town).

    However the plane crashed in a field a mile or so from town so the speculation is a moot point.

  • Your argument is though provoking, however, I disagree with your assumption that the attacks of 9/11 are being used as a campaign movement for Rudy Giuliani’s Presidency. Yes, these examples may be perks worth mentioning to get the crowed interested, but it is not all about his involvement with 9/11.

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