Iraqis aren’t ‘Cubbies’

After the president’s veto of the war-funding bill yesterday, lawmakers from both sides of the aisle took turns most of the morning delivering speeches on how right they are.

Some were excellent. Rep. Tim Walz (D-Minn.) told his colleagues, “Yesterday the President vetoed only the second bill that has ever come to his desk. He called it ‘a prescription for chaos and confusion.’ I ask, how is that different from what we have now?” Rep. Lloyd Doggett (D-Texas), meanwhile, took on one of the White House’s favorite talking points: “In this administration, Generals who disagree with the President earn a new title: ‘Retired.'”

Others were far more incomprehensible.

Today on the House floor, Rep. John Shimkus (R-IL) compared the war in Iraq to a Major League Baseball feud, asking fellow members of Congress to “Imagine my beloved St. Louis Cardinals are playing the much despised Chicago Cubs.”

“The Cardinals are up by five finishing the top of the ninth. Is this a cause for celebration? Is this a cause for victory? No. Unbelievable as it may seem, the Cubbies score five runs in the bottom of the ninth to throw the games into extra innings. There the score remains until 1:00 AM five innings later. However at the top of the 15th, the Cardinals fail to field a batter. The entire team has left the stadium…. Who wins? We know it’s the team that stays on the field.”

Now, this is unusually dumb for several reasons. As TP noted, “The war in Iraq isn’t a baseball game. No one gets killed in a Cardinals v. Cubs game. U.S. troops need to withdraw from Iraq not because the other “team” is beginning to catch up, but because our presence there is helping to fuel the violence and forcing our troops to referee an intractable civil war.”

Quite right. Maybe I can put this in a way Rep. Shimkus will understand: Imagine your beloved Cardinals are playing the Cubs and they’re literally killing each other. A handful of Brewers are on the field, wreaking havoc, but none of the players are wearing uniforms. You’re with the Yankees. You could have helped stop the fight when it broke out, but you blew it. Ever since, you’ve been chatting with the managers, trying to stop the fight, but to no avail. The Yankees can stay on the field as long as they want, but they can’t win. If they leave the fight, they haven’t “surrendered”; they’ve come to their senses.

Shimkus’ bizarre allegory is helpful, however, in highlighting part of the problem with how conservatives view this war. They see winners and losers. They see us and an enemy. It’s some kind of bilateral conflict.

In fact, it shapes their rhetoric, too. If we withdraw, it’ll be a “defeat.” If we redeploy, it’s akin to “surrender.” It’s what makes Shimkus’ baseball illustrative — he sees this as us vs. them.

All of this is wrong. Let’s say we withdraw from Iraq over the next year. Who has “defeated” us? Sunnis? Shia? Neither. This isn’t a failed war; it’s a failed occupation. To whom have we “surrendered”? The right would have us believe it’s al Qaeda, but we know better; the network is a small part of the Iraqi civil war.

No wonder war supporters’ rhetoric is so incoherent. Even as the war enters its fifth year, they don’t understand the nature of the conflict.

“and when it comes to baseball
i’ve got two favorite clubs:
the chicago white sox
and whoever plays the cubs!”

  • Isn’t in interesting the only 2 vetos this clown uses both had the support of the majority of the country.

  • Sports is probably the only thing that Shimkus knows.

    Perhaps there should be a new rule in politics. Those that think that sports is life should be banned from the political area till they get a bloody clue beyond the sports section.

    FYI, I happen to be a baseball fan, but I’d like to think I know something more than just baseball.

  • Forgive me for repeating myself.

    Listening to the Regal Moron (that’s Bush for all of you RW interlopers, er guests) blather on about “defeat..the enemy …” I was struck by how disconnected to reality his talking points are.
    Defeat, how? We won, Sadaam’s gone & elections have been held. It is now a civil war brewing, and we don’t know if we are training one side or the other.
    The enemy – see above.

    Hearing Commander Codpiece talk about the occupation is like hearing someone ask about halftime in a baseball game.

    It just seemed fitting.

  • Two good snippets from two good Dem congressmen. Thanks for including the link. THIS is what WE elected (and reelected) in November. Good job.

  • I just called both congressmen’s offices and told the persons who answered how pleased I was about their speaking out.

  • Sadly, this isn’t the first time I’ve heard Iraq explained as a sporting event.

    We have a local morning radio wingnut here in Omaha who does the play-by-play for Nebraska football, and is always using past Husker games as an analogy for Iraq.

    I think the right will always view this war as a game.

  • Congratulations to Rep. Shimkus for surpassing the knothead threshold set by Senator J. Inhofe. He’s in gallant company, there in the Republican vegetable bin. I have to agree with Dan at # 3 – Shimkus proably does see the war in such simplistic terms, where nobody dies and the victors shake hands with the losers as both teams make their way off the field. I guess that’s what comes of going into politics without serving a stint in the military; it’s easy to be detached from a process you don’t really understand beyond mindlessly cheerleading for your favourite team.

  • Hey, Doggett’s my guy! I’m famous!

    It’s about time, too. The only time I read about my other two Congressmen in blogs, I can only hang my head in shame. So it’s kind of nice to have someone actually represent my interests.

  • “This isn’t a failed war; it’s a failed occupation.” – CB

    This is the most brilliant one-line summation of the situation in Iraq that I’ve ever seen. Somebody should fax it to Reid and Pelosi immediately and tell them to use it.

    Well done, CB!! 🙂

  • Loved the Yankees analogy. Course, we all know who plays the part of George Steinbrenner. 🙂

  • Shimkus’ bizarre allegory is helpful, however, in highlighting part of the problem with how conservatives view this war. They see winners and losers. They see us and an enemy. It’s some kind of bilateral conflict. — CB.

    Now that is very profound (if I may presume to so eulogize). That touched in to a root dichotomy in the mentality of warmongers of any stripe. Good and evil, them and us, God and Satan. With no qualification in Christian doctrine, I can still see that the message of Genesis in their Bible is lost on them. I’ve always found that strange. And frustrating.

    The ‘Devil’ means the ‘dual’. That’s its etymological origin. It’s easier to see in the French word ‘Diable’, as in diabolical — ‘dia-‘ the Greek prefix meaning ‘two’. The point of the expulsion from Eden is the fall into duality. It is dualistic attachment and thinking that is the ‘devil’, not some external entity that has to fought and defeated.

    Recognizing that it is this ignorance of dualistic fixation that excludes us from ‘Eden’ — bliss, happiness and all things virtuous — is the message and saving grace of the very first chapter of the book they are always thumping.

    But I’m not optimistic that they can ever get that message.

  • How nice of the Republicans to compare a war to a f***ing game. How respectful of the 3,300 plus Americans who have died so far.

    I’ll be the majority of Americans think that Shimkus and his pals need to be benched, so that they can take up jobs where sports analogies might actually apply.

  • Well, if it’s analogies you’re looking for, then why don’t we “analogize” Shimkus?

    A “shim” is something you use to square-up a door or window when there’s too much of a gap between the house framing and the door/window that you’re trying to install. If you’re working on an old house, you’ll need a bit more shimming that you would in a new house—and one of those infernal “manufactured homes” needs a whole lot of shimming. simply put, the shim makes the door fit the frame.

    Sometimes, though, no amount of shimming imaginable will square up the door. It just never lines up—and the door will either fail to close, or fail to latch. Sometimes, a good gust of wind or an errant toddler is all it takes to push a door open that should have been latched—except for the fact that the door just doesn’t fit. The frame is just too skewed for a proper fit.

    Iraq is like that skewed frame—and the door is the US occupation of Iraq. No amount of shimming is going to make that door work the way it’s supposed to.

    As for Shimkus, he’s the nexgen whine of the ReThug. What once was referred to as “shilling” for the administration—can now be referred to as “shimming.”

    And no amount of it will ever make the door fit the frame properly….

  • As dumb as Shimkus sounds, his fearless leader is worse:

    “…slowly but surely, the truth will be known. Either we’ll succeed, or we won’t succeed. And the definition of success as I described is sectarian violence down. Success is not, no violence. There are parts of our own country that have got a certain level of violence to it. But success is a level of violence where the people feel comfortable about living their daily lives. And that’s what we’re trying to achieve…”

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/05/02/either-well-succeed-or_n_47470.html

  • Oh, I see. Its not that his analogy is incorrect, it’s not appropriate.

    I suppose the biggest reason it’s inappropriate is that it is correct?

  • Oh, I see. Its not that his analogy is incorrect, it’s not appropriate.

    I suppose the biggest reason it’s inappropriate is that it is correct?

  • Ha. The Cubs? Sure they may have come back to win a battle or two, but how long has it been since they won the war? They are an embarrassment to Chicago sports.

    I’m amazed they still sell tickets.

    Actually, now that I think about it, maybe the comparison is apt. Lot’s a rich white people love the Cubs but they can’t win the big one.

  • DP Ghost:

    Learn to read. Of course the analogy is both incorrect and inappropriate. But mostly, its just incorrect:

    All of this is wrong. Let’s say we withdraw from Iraq over the next year. Who has “defeated” us? Sunnis? Shia? Neither. This isn’t a failed war; it’s a failed occupation. To whom have we “surrendered”?

    It’s not us (The Cardinals(?)) vs. them (Cubs).

  • Comments are closed.