Last fall, conservative blogger and law professor Ann Althouse gained quite a bit of notoriety for criticizing my friend Jessica Valenti for, well, it wasn’t altogether clear what Althouse was saying.
At a meeting in New York with Bill Clinton, which I attended, there was a group photo with bloggers and the former president. Althouse disparaged Valenti for, as Althouse saw it, “bending over backwards — figuratively and literally — to keep the attention on your breasts. Jessica should have worn a beret. Blue dress would have been good too.” It was not only a ridiculous, baseless attack, it was also one of the more offensive examples of conservative blogging I’ve seen.
In March, Althouse gained more notoriety during a Bloggingheads episode with Garance Franke-Ruta, during which Althouse lost her cool.
But Althouse really outdid herself yesterday with some unusual analysis of the Clinton campaign’s Sopranos parody.
Bill says “No onion rings?” and Hillary responds “I’m looking out for ya.” Now, the script says onion rings, because that’s what the Sopranos were eating in that final scene, but I doubt if any blogger will disagree with my assertion that, coming from Bill Clinton, the “O” of an onion ring is a vagina symbol. Hillary says no to that, driving the symbolism home. She’s “looking out” all right, vigilant over her husband, denying him the sustenance he craves. What does she have for him? Carrot sticks! The one closest to the camera has a rather disgusting greasy sheen to it. Here, Bill, in retaliation for all of your excessive “O” consumption, you may have a large bowl of phallic symbols!
When we hear him say “No onion rings?,” the camera is on her, and Bill is off-screen, but at the bottom of the screen we see the carrot/phallus he’s holding toward her. Oh, yes, I know that Hillary supplying carrots is supposed to remind that Hillary will provide us with health care, that she’s “looking out for” us, but come on, they’re carrots! Everyone knows carrots are phallic symbols. But they’re cut up into little carrot sticks, you say? Just listen to yourself! I’m not going to point out everything.
If I can borrow a line from Jon Stewart, I’d just like to say, “Whaaaaa?”
I realize that the right hates the Clintons. I don’t understand it, and I’m kind of frightened by how far they take it, but the Clintons enrage conservatives. Fine.
But this analysis is perhaps the strangest thing I’ve ever read. “I doubt if any blogger will disagree with my assertion that, coming from Bill Clinton, the ‘O’ of an onion ring is a vagina symbol.” I, however, doubt that any blogger will disagree that Althouse’s conclusion is sheer lunacy.
Bill asked for onion rings because they’re from The Sopranos episode — the video was a spoof, after all — and because of his well-known love of junk food. Hillary gives him carrots because he’s had health trouble and needs to eat healthy. It really isn’t that complicated. Freud would get it.
But Althouse doesn’t. If there’s ever been a more obvious example of Clinton Derangement Syndrome, I can’t think of it.