Run, Dick, run

Back in April, the New York Sun ran one of the year’s more ridiculous editorials, calling on Dick Cheney to put aside his feelings and run for the GOP presidential nomination. The Sun called it a “fine idea,” arguing, “[Cheney] could help settle some of the arguments about the Bush years in favor of Mr. Bush. A White House aiming to get Mr. Cheney elected could also avoid some of the hazards that befall lame-ducks — drift, brain drain, irrelevance. Such a campaign might lift Mr. Cheney ‘s own standing in the polls.”

To clarify, the Sun did not appear to be kidding.

Yesterday, the same newspaper returned to the same subject — and came to the same conclusion.

[Stephen Hayes’ “Cheney”] quotes Senator McCain as saying, “Dick doesn’t like campaigning.” Nothing in the Hayes book suggests that Mr. Cheney is about to do it — except for that the vice president spent nearly 30 hours cooperating with the author and apparently gave the okay for many of his friends and colleagues to grant similar access. The Richard Cheney described in this book isn’t vain enough to do that simply for his reputation in history. My own guess — okay, hope — is that Mr. Cheney has taken a look at the Republican presidential field and sees an opening.

If Iowa and New Hampshire Republicans start receiving copies of “Cheney” in their mailboxes, Mr. Cheney’s popularity may yet begin to climb.

The Sun draws this conclusion after noting that Cheney, according to the Washington Post’s polling expert, is “less popular than Michael Jackson after he was tried for child abuse and O.J. Simpson after he was tried for murder.” Cheney is also “less popular with Americans than Joseph Stalin is with Russians.”

Following up on an item from April, I’m left with a few questions for the New York Sun’s editorial board.

* Of the six top Democratic presidential candidates (Clinton, Obama, Edwards, Dodd, Biden, and Richardson), is there a candidate who couldn’t beat Cheney in at least 45 states?

* There are approximately seven Americans not named “Cheney” who believe the VP deserves a promotion. Are all seven currently on the Sun’s payroll?

* Can anyone (at the Sun or anywhere else) point to a single thing Cheney has been right about since taking office?

* Does the Sun’s editorial board realize that 61% of Republicans recently said that Cheney would not be an “acceptable” presidential nominee?

* If Dems ask really nicely, and promise to campaign with one arm tied behind our backs, would the Republicans nominate Cheney? Please?

In fact, on that last point, I’m probably going about this the wrong way. Allow me to reverse course — I’m terrified of a Cheney campaign. He’d be all but unbeatable. It’s not a question of whether he’d win, but rather, how big a margin he’d win by. Dems can only hope this unstoppable juggernaut doesn’t run and crush our feeble field of candidates.

Yeah. That’s it. That’s what I meant to say.

Personally I think the editorial board is bat-shit crazy. It’s the only explanation that doesn’t make me crazy.

  • I, too, am a Democrat, and I, too, am terrified of the possibility of Dick Cheney running for president.

  • are the writers of the sun editorial page trying out for jobs at the wall street journal editorial page?

  • Yes, let me state without reservation for all the R’s listening that Cheney is the only one who can stop us D’s from implementing our plan of mandatory abortions and gay marriage for all, 99% tax rates, Spanish-as-a-national-language, abolishment of all religion and abject surrender to the terrorists.

    Your only hope is to nominate Dick Cheney to stop us from carrying out our evil plans!

    (Oh, I forgot about our plans to have RW pundits marry goats… )

  • Just put Cheney in charge of a search committe for selecting the Republican candidate for ’08. Given such a position, I wonder who he’d choose?

  • * There are approximately seven Americans not named “Cheney” who believe the VP deserves a promotion. Are all seven currently on the Sun’s payroll?

    Promotion? He is already the most powerful man in America, what promotion. I fear that the Repubs will pick him again for VP so he can continue to run the country!

  • Oh No! Someone has found the solution for the Republican problem of the 2008 election.
    Dang, I was hoping that it would slip by, because Dick is the true face of the modern Republicans. All the public has to do is see the stature, the forthright manner, the firm grip on reality that Dick has, and it’s all over for us Libs.
    You see, he’s irresistable, even if he doesn’t have a shotgun pointed at your face.

  • Where can I get a “Cheney for President” bumpersticker??

    I’m serious, this might be the best thing for Dems since sliced bread!

  • I find it interesting how editorial boards get ahold of pet theories they try to float — like Broder/Friedman’s pet centrist Presidential candidate.

    Think-tank fax machines.

  • phoebes wrote: “What 5 states do you see Cheney carrying in a national election?”

    I’m guessing whatever 5 states still have corrupt Republican Secretaries of State in charge of elections:

    “In an amazing upset, Dick Cheney received 110% of the vote!”

  • I think ET said all that needs to be said in the first comment. If Cheney became their nominee it would be the biggest landslide since LBJ/Goldwater in ’64. As delusional as Dead-Eye is, even he must have enough of a grasp on reality left to realize he’s too old to rebuild his ‘legacy’ from such an historical humiliation.
    But I agree. Run, Dick! Run!

  • Where can I get a “Cheney for President” bumpersticker??

    Right here:

    http://www.cafepress.com/progopgear/525971

    Maybe I will get one and wear into a local Dem meeting… just to see if anybody dares to speak up.

    Be cool if the buttons were reversible.
    I want with “Go F%#@ yourself!” on the otherside.
    Then… if someone does speak up, all you have to do is “flip it” around. ®

  • Hold on there, my god, look at this for what it is. We’re now six years into the influence of this self worshipping, money loving, good ole boy culture. This sort of thing is becoming the norm with the media being the tool of the wealthy and politically connected, you know, the unidentified white house staffer, the anonymous government official. It’s only normal after leaking, or arranging the big stories for six years, that one might be rewarded with a glossy ego spread in some publication. It’s not all that hard for a person with Cheney’s bankroll to find some typist eager to entertain the giant ego with a flattering multi chapter biography.

    Why on earth would any non Republican be aftraid of Dick Cheney running for prez in 08? I would relish the chance to see him run, get trounced and then fade away grumbling about a stolen election.

    In fact, how about this for a GOP ticket in 08? Dickin’George in 08! Cheney and Bush reverse roles, so to speak. Slogan: Can’t Let Go of the Good Thang!

  • Sounds like the editor at the Sun needs to put down the crack pipe.

    And I’m afraid Cheney won’t run because of his health issues. Mental health issues.

    And who needs Mister Popularity when you have Romney and Giuliani? As wrong as Dick has been over the last… well, forever, compared to those two he’s almost stable. So yeah, I agree… Run, Dick!

  • Cheney/Keyes in ’08!

    That reminds me, I still need to buy a Republicans for Voldemort t-shirt.

  • “……drift, brain drain, irrelevance…..”

    Yup, that pretty much sums up the whole Bush administration right there.

  • It would piss off liberals.

    That’s the only decision-making tool, the only philosophical principal, that modern ‘conservatism’ has: “‘hat will piss off the liberals?’

    They should apologize to Edmund Burke, but I don’t think they’ll even recognize the name…

  • Errata: ‘principle’ for ‘principal’, ‘what’ for ‘hat’

    Can’t type one-handed — and it’s a coffee-cup, for the prurient.

  • TAIO wrote: “Cheney/Keyes in ‘08!”

    Oh, perfect! I can just picture the campaign slogans now:

    “Two wrongs can make a right”

    or simply:

    “Two wrongs on the right”

    or:

    “Sure, Cheney loves his gay daughter, but at least Keyes hates his!”

  • Scenerio:

    Republican convention hopelessly locked after 5 rounds at Rudy – 26%, Mitt-25%, Thompson – 20%, Mc Cain -18%, Gringinch – 11%.

    Sitting in the booth above the fray is Cheney right next to Jeb Bush. The camera stops for a moment on the booth catching both men on the phone. Within minutes a stirring on the floor as men start answering their blackberries. The next round of voting begins with Montana asking to vote first. Montana in the spirt of unity offers the name of it’s native son Dick Cheney. The floor erupts and magically “Cheney for President” signs appear following a near unanimous vote. The next night the floor erupts again when Cheney accepts and names Jeb Bush his running mate.

  • The Rethugs have to have something slimy up their sleeves, but if they have become so deeply delusional as to think Cheney could win even a rigged election then let them. I welcome his candidacy. RUN DICK RUN and very fast. Maybe your pacemaker won’t keep pace. If we’re lucky.

  • Whoops – just thought of one more Cheney/Keyes slogan for ’08:

    “Cheney/Keyes: So crazy, they just might work!”

  • Better slogan: Shoot an old man in the face with Cheney!

    They’ll at least get the NRA vote and the frustrated-looking-for-someone-anyone-to-shoot vote. The latter may be more votes than we think.

    Seriously, his only chance (and it’s very slim) is have the boy king offed and hold many sad memorials throughout the campaign. I say it’s slim because most of the mourning will be the polite, don’t-speak-ill-of-the-dead type, and people may tire of it all.

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