‘They preach love, but they don’t act it out’

August 11, 2007

I should know better than to be surprised, but when anti-gay animus is this ugly, it’s almost painful.

Relatives of a gay Navy veteran who died say they are upset that a megachurch led by Joel Osteen’s brother-in-law canceled his memorial service 24 hours before it was to start.

Officials at the nondenominational High Point Church knew that Cecil Howard Sinclair was gay when they offered to host his service but no one hinted of problems while planning it, said his sister, Kathleen Wright.

“But when the obituary came out in the paper and listed his life partner as one of the survivors, I truly believe the big-pocket parishioners called the church and said, ‘Why are you having a funeral for a gay person?'” Wright said Friday. “It’s a slap in the face. It’s like, ‘Oh, we’re sorry he died, but he’s gay so we can’t help you.'”

The church’s pastor, the Rev. Gary Simons, said he had to cancel the memorial service because, the night before the event, his staff was putting together a video tribute and saw pictures of men “engaging in clear affection, kissing and embracing.”

“We did decline to host the service — not based on hatred, not based on discrimination, but based on principle,” Simons told The Associated Press. “Had we known it on the day they first spoke about it — yes, we would have declined then. It’s not that we didn’t love the family.”

No, of course not. It’s just that their love for the family pales in comparison to their disdain for gays. The church’s decision was based solely on “principle” — the principle that gay people are bad and unworthy of a memorial service in their church.

For what it’s worth, Sinclair’s family insists church officials are lying about the circumstances. The photos the family provided did not feature anyone “engaging in clear affection,” and his sister told the AP that a minister from the church knew that Sinclair was gay because when he went to the hospital the night her brother died, she introduced him to Sinclair’s partner.

Nevertheless, the family scrambled to find an alternative venue, and moved the service to a local funeral home. Tim Seelig, conductor of the Turtle Creek Chorale, a renowned gay men’s chorus in Dallas, said the event honored Sinclair’s life, but his friends and family were still offended by High Point Church’s slap in the face.

“That’s where they are misguided,” Seelig said. “They preach love, but they don’t act it out.”

It’s far too common.

“… not based on hatred, not based on discrimination, but based on principle….”

Matthew 23:27-28 (King James Version)

27 Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanness.

28 Even so ye also outwardly appear righteous unto men, but within ye are full of hypocrisy and iniquity.

  • I guess in the end maybe they do practice what they preach – they talk all the time about how bad homosexuality is, try to get out the vote on “gay” issues, etc. I guess for these sad people, sexual orientation is more important than faith, love, charity – in fact, it is the singular issue for them.

    How sad for the family to be turned away by their church at the time when they needed them most.

  • It sucks, and I feel bad for their family. On the other hand unless the Church is accepting Federal funds or partaking in programs through state channels that involve public funds they have every right to do this.

    They of course are lying through their teeth about it being about anything other than their own bigotry and misreading of the bible and Christ’s teachings.

  • 5. On August 11th, 2007 at 11:17 am, Nell said:
    For all they know God might be gay.

    LOL. The Father, the Son and the Life Partner.

    Since God didn’t do the actual insemination of Mary, but used an Angel, the whole thing sounds like a threesome.

    God to Jesus on the Cross. “I ain’t quittin’ you.”

  • What’s so amazing about this story to me is that the church is willingly becoming sinners. This is the first time I’ve ever heard of that a Christian church decided that a Christian person (or any person) isn’t entitled to a Christian burial. It’s unprecented for Christians. What do they think justifies it? Even the worst criminals are given burials. I just don’t know what could have motivated them to turn their back on one of God’s children, God’s creation, and effectively say he should be treated like trash, and not given burial rites, because he’s gay. If their church is not supposed to do it, then by their view, what church should do it? They’re saying his body should be thrown in a mass grave or something. These people are sinners and ghouls.

  • Color me… unsurprised.
    I agree with edmnd dantes’ comment above.
    The church does have a right to do this
    and the fact that they ARE doing it shows just how warped they are.
    “Hate the sin, love the sinner.”
    How I absolutely LOATHE that phrase.
    It seems a beautiful sentiment, taken alone,
    but when put in context it usually just a flimsy defense for bigotry.
    But, hey, what do I know, being a vile, filthy atheist who find the concept of even “original sin” to be a perverse concept; a selfinflicted wound in (much of) mankind’s psyche.
    Seriously, you’re BORN tainted?
    Because some nudist couple ate an apple?
    And they ate it because they wanted to LEARN?
    And that is considered BAD?
    No wonder many religious righties homeschool.
    Edumacation is teh road to hell!

  • I’d really like to vist that church- they must have something spectacular there: a person with no sin, to be able to throw those stones at that grieving family and send them packing to another church with a dead hero on the day of his funeral. That’s a lot of brass, to be able to pick out for God which person deserves a funeral and who doesn’t. This guy must think he’s the Second Coming of Christ.

  • […] their love for the family pales in comparison to their disdain for gays. — CB

    Actually, I think the siuister is probably correct, and it’s “all about money, honey”. As long as the church thought they could have the service on the quiet, without anyone being the wiser about the guy’s gayness, they werre willing to do it (and collect their fee). But, with the obituary making the facts plain to everyone, I bet some parishioners *did* put pressure on the un-revered Reverend, possibly threatening to quit. And he figured that a one-time fee wasn’t worth a steady income from the bigger herd…

    […] unless the Church is accepting Federal funds or partaking in programs through state channels that involve public funds they have every right to do this. — edmunt dantes, @4

    Churches, as charitable institutions, are tax-exempt. They may not be accepting *additional* Fed funds, but even so, they’re subsidised by the public, other than just the parishioners. OTOH… They can probably claim some religious principle which forbids them to do the right thing. I seem to remember that several religions forbid burying suicides in consecrated ground, for example (reasons suicides are as much DADT as gays). I expect something similiar can be found for gays.

  • Christians are obligated by their belief in Christ to follow the teachings of Him .
    People need to read the new testament, even if you don’t believe , to see what hypocrites the President and the fascist right really are .

  • oops, last comment was me, under a parody handle.

    It should have been my regular handle. I didn’t mean to imply that my comment at # 12 was what a Republican would say.

  • Should the headline for the story be something like “Megachurch Cancels Funeral for Gay Veteran” and not “Gay Man’s Relatives Upset About Canceled Memorial Service”?

    Is the fact that they’re upset news? Is that what we should be outraged about?

  • I don’t mean to sound callous particular toward a greiving family, but when I read the start of Homer’s post at #3, “I guess they do practice what they preach,” I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell the family of a gay man was doing supporting a church like this in the first place – just as the church allegedly knew the decedent was gay in advance, did the family not know the church’s views on homosexuality in advance? I’m het and still a church’s stance on gay rights is one of the first things I want to know about it.

    That said, I can’t imagine how anyone with common sense doesn’t find the church’s behaviour offensive on its face. I particularly found interesting the Pastor’s horror that people were “engaging in clear affection, kissing and embracing.” To most normal people reading those words, it is hard to find the problem. They weren’t engaged in kinky sex. But us Christians, man we just hate it when people clearly have affection for one another. I mean, open hatred is a much better demonstration of our faith.

  • Just one more example of how un-righteous religion really is. Don’t these people ever listen to their own teachings. God does not turn a blind eye to good people. These biggots who preach and practice hatred and prejudice will be judged, and by sticking to the “principles” of their faith, they are condeming themselves. I would love to see the look on the faces of all these so-called people of God when the finally meet their maker. When they die they will truly know what it is to be God-fearing. I hope the family of the deceased, can get some comfort knowing that God doesn’t care about sexuality, as long as a person is a good, decent compassionate being.

  • Yes, I definitely agree. If we were all more willing to accept each other and our individual beliefs, religion etc – then the world would be a better place. John Lennon’s song about “Imagine” was really a great way to bring all people more together.
    .

  • Well, my opinion matters. I can’t even finish reading this report because it’s literally making me, ill. I have absolutely nothing against any human being, no matter who they are, but, I cannot and will not subject myself to something that is not humane aka NORMAL, period. What I got from the first few lines of this blog item is, after the funeral director, pastor, priest, whatever, viewed the video that probably the deceased one’s gay lover wanted to play at the funeral, was most likely in very bad taste, for the public to view, in person, period.

    Sounds to me like, the people in charge, had every right to refuse, even after the gay partner, threw a fuss.

    ‘Without Dignity, i am nothing’ rce

    Sorry, THAT’S THE TRUTH, I’M SURE OF IT.

    Lover of ALL, hater of evil. 8/07

  • Well, my opinion matters. I can’t even finish reading this report because it’s literally making me, ill. I have absolutely nothing against any human being, no matter who they are, but, I cannot and will not subject myself to something that is not humane aka NORMAL, period. What I got from the first few lines of this blog item is, after the funeral director, pastor, priest, whatever,replica watches viewed the video that probably the deceased one’s gay lover wanted to play at the funeral, was most likely in very bad taste, for the public to view, in person, period.

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