Guest Post by Morbo
Fred Thompson has officially thrown his hat in the ring, and some people have noticed that he appears to be a pathetic lightweight who can’t articulate a coherent stand on many issues.
Washington Post columnist Ruth Marcus noted recently that Thompson often substitutes pithy sayings for actual policy stands.
After six months of Waiting for Thompson, the former Tennessee senator has arrived on stage. Unfortunately, Thompson’s dialogue so far consists of folksy platitudes and broad pronouncements, unobjectionable yet unenlightening.
Marcus lists a few in her column. Here’s Thompson on national security: “We do whatever’s necessary, hitch up our britches and come out the other end.” On domestic programs, he worries that too much is being spent while “the politicians kick the can down the road.”
She missed this gem: Asked about energy policy in Sioux City, Iowa, on Sept. 7, The New York Times reported that Thompson replied, “We’ve got to learn to skip and chew gum at the same time.”
Okay! That sure clears everything up.
But before we get all excited about Thompson imploding because he’s an idiot, it is important to remember that we live in the United States.
In just about any other civilized country, inane comments like this would consign a candidate to political oblivion. In America, we have a long history of embracing buffoons whose moronic comments are interpreted as deep, homespun wisdom. (Read Jerzy Kosinski’s novel “Being There” and remember that it was written before the rise of Ronald Reagan.) If the last seven years have taught us anything, it’s that being utterly clueless is no bar to the highest office in the land.
Remember Ross Perot? In 1992, he built an entire political movement on pithy sayings and managed to capture 19 percent of the vote in a general election — and he was laboring under the additional handicap of being hopelessly insane.
So please don’t make the mistake of getting excited about the obvious fact that Thompson’s lights are on but no one’s home. Remember, the man has starred in movies and been on the TV. We like it when people are on the TV!
In fact, if anything saves us from Thompson, it may be that he’s just not very nice to look at or talk to. Reagan wasn’t very bright, but he was tall with big broad shoulders and such nice hair. George W. Bush is also not very bright, but some people — although I’ve never understood why — considered him down to earth and a real “regular guy.”
Thompson, by contrast, looks like Shrek with liver spots. That may be enough to do him in. That in itself is an embarrassing comment on these political times, as I’d rather people reject Thompson because he has no ideas. But I’m not picky. If people are willing to reject Brain Dead Fred for all the wrong reasons, I’ll take it.