Jesus wants you to have a $23,000 toilet

November 17, 2007

Guest Post by Morbo

I’ve never had much use for Sen. Charles E. Grassley (R-Iowa), but I have to give the man some credit: He certainly has shaken things up with these letters to TV ministries.

In case you missed it, Grassley has sent letters to six mega-ministries, asking some pointed questions about their finances. One of his targets is Benny Hinn, perhaps the most transparently fraudulent evangelical TV huckster out there.

Hinn lives in a $10 million estate (considered a “parsonage”), owns a fleet of cars and a private jet. He travels all over the world claiming to heal people of various afflictions. Over the years, numerous news media outlets have tried to take Hinn down. They’ve pointed out his opulent lifestyle. They’ve tracked down people Hinn claims to have healed and found some of them unhealed and others dead.

To no avail. Hinn still packs them in. Let him pack them in — but none of his snake-oil empire should be tax exempt.

Whoever advised Grassley on this matter did some homework. The letters to the ministries are pointed and raise specific issues. His letter to Joyce Meyer Ministries, for example, asks for a “detailed accounting of all expense account items for Joyce and David Meyer for years 2004 to present, including, but not limited to, clothing expenses and cosmetic surgery for years 2002 to present.”

This is rich. I’d like to hear Meyer explain why a facelift is a legitimate ministry expense. Maybe she’ll say she just wants to look sharp when Jesus comes back.

Meyer is also asked to explain her purchase of a $23,000 “commode with marble top.”

Other folks on the Grassley hit list include the appropriately named Creflo Dollar, Paula White Ministries, Eddie Long Ministries and Kenneth Copeland Ministries. (If only Creflo’s parents had been clairvoyant! They could have named him something more fitting, such as “Gimmieyerlast.”)

In 2005, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution profiled Eddie Long, whose ministry is based in Lithonia, Ga. Asked about his $3 million salary, $1.4-million house and ministry-provided Bentley worth $35,000, Long replied:

“We’re not just a church, we’re an international corporation. We’re not just a bumbling bunch of preachers who can’t talk and all we’re doing is baptizing babies. I deal with the White House. I deal with Tony Blair….You’ve got to put me on a different scale than the little black preacher sitting over there that’s supposed to be just getting by because the people are suffering.”

Yikes. Got hubris, Rev. Long? Try a little humility. I’m almost certain Jesus is for that.

I’m not normally for the government messing around in private religious matters. It’s a free country, and if you want to worship a golden calf, I say have at it. But these ministries appear to be engaged in such obvious fraud and abuse of the tax code that it’s high time someone took a look.

I don’t know if anything will come of the Grassley probe, but maybe it will at least throw a scare into some of these charlatans. Go get ’em, Chuck!

You’ve got to put me on a different scale than the little black preacher . . .

You have got to be shitting me. And this man meets with the president? with the Prime Ministe of England? runs a multinational corporation? He sounds like one of the antebellum southern preachers defending slavery using selective (selected?) quotes from the old testament.

Gee. If he’s that concerned about ‘little black preachers’, maybe he could send some of that largess to churches (of whatever denomination) which have buckled walls, holes in the roofs, no indoor plumbing (that $23k toilet could cover full repairs for at least on church I know in my home town (I am not a member, but I have contributed to their building fund)).

Who needs mind altering drugs when we have .

  • Shorter Eddie Long: Fuck you, I got mine.

    Also:

    “We’re not just a church, we’re an international corporation.”

    Why not just shout “Send in the IRS!” Arsehole.

    Chuck must be getting some inside information from jealous cohorts of these clowns. Discarded lovers hopefully. Discarded lovers of the same gender would be a bonus. It would also make sense that someone who still views himself as a “Good Christian” (despite the coveting of his pastor’s Rolls) would come to CG, rather than a Democrat, which means the Mini$ter$ can’t mount a “Persecuted by Evil DemoNcRats!” defense. Wheee! Let’s hope there are hearings.

  • I outgrew, or overcame, my early training in Christian faith long ago, but it’s impossible for anyone to read the New Testament and think that Benny Hinn has any connection with that set of beliefs. A few samples from the Good Book (and a brief visit to Google):

    * Mat 25:34-36,40, TEV – Come, you that are blessed by my Father! Come and possess the kingdom which has been prepared for you ever since the creation of the world. I was hungry and you fed me, thirsty and you gave me a drink; I was a stranger and you received me in your homes, naked and you clothed me; I was sick and you took care of me, in prison and you visited me… I tell you, whenever you did this for one of the least important of these members of my family, you did it for me! [See Mat 25:31-46 in its entirety.]
    * Jam 2: 15-18, TEV – Suppose there are brothers or sisters who need clothes and don’t have enough to eat. What good is there in your saying to them, “God bless you! Keep warm and eat well!”—if you don’t give them the necessities of life? So it is with faith: if it is alone and includes no actions, then it is dead. But someone will say, “One person has faith, another has actions.” My answer is, “Show me how anyone can have faith without actions. I will show you my faith by my actions.”
    * 1Jo 3:16-19, TEV – This is how we know what love is: Christ gave his life for us. We too, then, ought to give our lives for our brothers and sisters! Rich people who see a brother or sister in need, yet close their hearts against them, cannot claim that they love God. My children, our love should not be just words and talk; it must be true love, which shows itself in action.
    * Peter and John, along with Jesus’ brother James, still encouraged Paul to collect money from the churches to send to the poor in Jerusalem, as Paul describes in his letter to the church in Galatia (Gal 2:10). To explore some examples of Paul’s carrying out this philanthropic mission througout his travels, see Act 11:29,30; Act 24:17; Rom 15:25-27; 1Co 16:1-3; 2Co 8:1-24; 2Co 9:1-15.

    I’m afraid most Christian leaders have become what Christ hated: hypocrites and pharisees.

  • For the love of Money we kneel and pray , thank you Money for the blessings we have taken and never account for and may the old and poor and destitute continue to recieve social security and disability so we can take that as well to do with what we will . O holy Money guild us in our greed whilst we laugh with joy as we take old womens pension checks and manipulate the markets for our own lust and happiness so we can also laugh with joy at the downtrodden , after all it’s their own fault for being uncorrupted and decent folks , and please let them continue to live in darkness and ignorance that they never know the true nature of the chains that bind them . O Money , my life for you forever and ever O man

  • This is interesting news. I had heard that Grassley was asking questions of these creeps, but not that he obviously has some inside information! Sweet!

    Great observation, Orange. Not “just a church,” eh. Of course “international corporations” don’t pay much in taxes, either. Eddie Long needs to move offshore quickly and vacate Lithonia, Georgia while there are still at least 40 Republicans in the Senate.

    Isn’t Creslo Dollar’s middle name “Almighty,” or is that just a rumor started by some godless atheist?

  • Let’s hope Joyce Meyer gets to go where the other recent commode afficianado (“It’s a Louis XIV!”) Duke Cunningham is.

    I’m sure if Ronnie Reagan were still alive, he’d issue a new commandment to Grasley that thou shalt not attack thy base. Maybe it’s Grassley’s flock that’s of the demographic that tends to get fleeced by these con artists.

  • Thanks for the link Grewgills. Every congresscritter should have their own Dean Zerbe. I wasn’t familiar with him. If the work he is focused on could be expanded to it’s deserved importance, we would be living in a different and far better country.

    From the article:

    While Mr. Zerbe’s methods do not always sit well with nonprofit officials, his work has drawn the respect of many of his colleagues on Capitol Hill and at federal agencies. His inquiries into big corporations and wealthy foundations — areas sometimes thought to be off-limits for Republican staff members to probe because they represent the interests of so many well-to-do Republican donors — are so exhaustive that House and Senate aides jokingly named him “Best Democratic Staffer” at a holiday party last year. In April, at a meeting of several hundred nonprofit tax lawyers from around the country, Catherine Livingston, an Internal Revenue Service lawyer, walked up behind Mr. Zerbe and hugged him.

    “You’re like a phenomenon,” she gushed. “People talk about you all around our building. They’re like, Deeeeeeean!”

    __________________________

    The Bentley’s only 35G because it doesn’t have an engine. It’s powered by high octane, no ping, no knock, holy trinity in your tank, hand in your pocket jesus power.

  • A Rethug going after charlatan preachers (which is most of them to begin with). Something is wrong with this picture. One set of thieves beating up on another set of thieves? This has to be some sort of very limited ‘get even’ game, because a thorough, widespread investigation of church finances could easily bring the pillars of civilization crashing down. Be still my heart.

  • >I thought a commode was a piece of furniture, not a toilet.

    Jen: You are probably right about this — but I am pretending to be Rudy Giuliani and will continue to insist that it refers to a toilet even though the evidence says otherwise. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go dress up like a woman and divorce my wife.

  • Apparently god doesn’t hide finances as well as he should. I’ve always wondered why preachers need $5000 suits.

    From a purely economic point, these Televangelists are a black hole on the economy as they suck in precious capitol and provide precious little in return except in purchases of largely irrelevant luxury goods. Faith and hope are irrelevent. BTW, empires have fallen in large part to the excesses of religion among them, the supposed kingdom of Israel and the Roman Empire.

  • I thought a commode was a piece of furniture, not a toilet. — Jen Flowers @ 5

    In my little neck of the woods, only people with U education say “toilet”. Everyone else says “commode”. But then, the South is full of mealy-mouthed euphemisms…

  • A golden calf! What a great gift idea for the TV preacher who has everything.

    Don’t forget, only 36 more shopping days left before the war on Christmas.

  • Jen,

    Commode is a word for a piece of furniture, but it’s most commonly understood to mean a piece of furniture that houses a chamber pot — you know, the proverbial pot to p— in (stained glass window to throw it out not included, that will probably run you another 20 grand).

  • According to Merriam-Webster’s a “commode” is

    1: a woman’s ornate cap popular in the late 17th and early 18th centuries
    2 a: a low chest of drawers
    b: a movable washstand with a cupboard underneath
    c: a boxlike structure holding a chamber pot under an open seat
    d: toilet

  • I think these comments are way off base. Jesus wants us all to experience abundant life. If it you need joy, Jesus provides that. If it is money, Jesus provides that as well. It is all about understanding the covenant loving God we serve. It is the God that loves the poor and the needy that also loves gold, pearls and the such like. Just a quick look and the first record of God all the way through to the future references of God in the book of Revelation will show you that. We often judge too harshly what we don’t understand.The noted ministries have the fruit to show that they are serving God. If a few cars or planes bother you here now for the children of God you will be very uncomfortable in Heaven with it’s accouterments. By the way I work two jobs, my wife works and I pastor a small church that handles about $300 a week. Things illeagle must be stopped but too much money is like saying too much love from God is excessive.

  • Crap, if I had known that it paid so well to be a TV minister or whatever they call it, I would have gone to school and gotten into that con instead of suffering as an RN for years for pennies. Perhaps I could get a late start and go into this in my senior years and make some good money!

  • And people think politicians are spinmeisters. But just check out mark, the $300/week preacher here. Just goes to show that religion can get you in a mindset where you can spin anything. I’m sure mark is a nice guy, don’t get me wrong. A fool, but probably a nice fool.

    Enjoy your heavenly accoutrements, mark.

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  • If these people sold tickets rather than asking donations would we still be cheering on this witch hunt?

    I don’t care much for most of these yahoos, but I don’t know that any of this is illegal. It’s merely unethical. I know we expect better of televangelists, right? But I’m concerned we are cheering on politically motivated prosecutions and unlike Dubya, I care about the progressive movement’s moral authority to condemn politically motivated abuse of the courts.

    Tread lightly, Senator Grassley. Any crimes committed must be made crystal clear.
    It’s not unlawful to be a parasite on humanity.

  • These preachers remind me of some REVERE MASS city councilors. They take an expense account of several thousands of dollars each and no receipts or canceled checks are required. And the voters seem to love getting taken Go Figure.

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  • They condemn people who ask about ‘self confidence’ yet they use god to enrich them’selves’! one thing I can say about this is they are a bunch of HYPOCRITES!! HYPOCRITES!!

  • In the past two thousand years many arguments have been posited for and against the existence of God. No argument has been more effective against the existence of God than televangelism. It is so obviously sick and parasitic, so counter to the teachings of Christ and historical church fathers that I simply cannot fathom the stupidity and gullibility of their followers. If the church cannot regulate itself, ethics demands that someone else does; if that means government, so be it.

  • What a shame. NOT the fact that there are some televangelists preying on the public for their own personal gain – although that IS a shame, too – but the fact that there are those who would use these examples to try to “prove” that there is no God or that religion or Christianity is a farce. What about the crooked politicians, cops, teachers, lawyers, doctors, plumbers, mechanics, bankers, farmers, pharmacists, etc., etc…..?
    Yes, the very basis of Christianity teaches that these things are wrong – and they are! But, there are bad people in EVERY vocation.

  • I am a Christian and I am very interested in hearing how these clowns justify their actions. It’s about time someone held them up to a standard. No where in scripture does it mention that Jesus got rich off of people.

  • .
    “On November 17th, 2007 at 9:18 am, Billy (A Liberal Disabled Vet) said:”

    “… He sounds like one of the antebellum southern preachers defending slavery using selective (selected?) quotes from the old testament. ”

    no joke…

    likewise you guys are just using one quote to justify criminalizing any minister that has money.

    I’ll be the first to admit, there are even some greedy people in the church.

    However, anyone who has actually read a good bit of the bible, will tell you, if your truely a Christian, God is supposed to provide for you, and give you an abundance (to the full, till it runs over)

    Why is it so hard to believe this doesn’t mean money,

    and if God does exist, why shouldn’t He fulfill His promise.

    Im not going to speak for Hinn.

    Frauds do exist.

    but why does your whole article hinge on one man’s quote?

    I see no reason to damn all fiscally blessed ministers by one man’s words, and mistakes. (or has this nation’s motto become “guilty until proven innocent”?)

    Your literally saying, because one Doctor screw you out of cash, and Doctor with a sports car is automatically taking advantage of people….

    But of course, that sounds silly…..

  • @Josiah & Mark ~~ Whatever happened to “you received freely, give freely”?

    I’m not buying the “God gave it to me” argument. He specifically instructed us not to put our trust in earthly riches (that rust, etc) but in heavenly riches. He told us that he would provide our daily bread: that is, he would provide sufficiently for the modest needs of each day. It is also properly said that “to the laborer, his hire”. But Jesus insisted that we cannot serve both God and Mammon. He also pointed out that money is one of “Caesar’s things” when he said, regarding the temple tax, “Pay back Caesar’s things to Caesar, but God’s things to God.”

    But I CAN point out one source of great sweaty piles of cash … Mt. 4:8,9

    Jesus also mentioned that the Pharisees were getting their reward now and his should expect none later. IMHO, Creflo and his ilk should take note.

  • I know who’ll be a sheep and who’ll be a goat on judgement day, but in the meantime these people are doing tremendous harm to the kingdom of God.

  • Josiah, if you have a lot of money you can use it in several different ways.

    You can keep it to yourself.
    You can spend it on yourself.
    You can spend it on your friends.
    You can spend it on the needy.

    Which would God tell you to do?
    Is there ever going to be an honestly God-fearing preacher who most does the first two? Of course not, because no-one who was actually interested in being holy would.

  • I’m not saying this is right, and I’m not saying I condone it. BUT. I’d give fifteen-to-one odds that every damn one of you, given the opportunity, would cheat on an expense account. In fact, I’m betting most of you have cheated on either taxes or a company expense account if you had access to it. These guys should be setting a better example, but this isn’t any sickness unique to Christians. It’s a sickness of humans in general.

    I find it very ironic that so many atheists complain about Christians being judgemental. I don’t think I’ve known any Christian that judged others so harshly as an atheist talking about the Catholic church. It screams psychological projection to me.

  • I thought Christians needed help to understand their religion and practice it.Yes,indeed they have the star rated kind and really talented shysters.Among Hindus we do have a whole host of Godmen who depending on their need and greed manage to amass wealth and following. There are the truly dedicated few, a cut above the rest,who render substantial service to the needy and deserving.They are not pampered but protected and for personal safety and security reasons travel in a secured manner.They do not appear on TV shows and conduct prayers to heal body and mind with all the Hollywood style drama and pretences.Personally I think no holy scripture advises the use of intermediaries between man and God.It is the doubt and uncertainty about what is expected of an individual in his /her effort to connect with God or a concept akin to it creates room for charlatans to grab opportunities and enrich by any means whatever

  • i cannot believe that this guy is actually making money. How can people not see that he is a complete fraud? this man isnt walking the path christ has laid down for him, but rather is manipulating it and with satans guidance is brainwashing people into thinking they are actually being healed. this man disgusts me, and most of his salary should be going to the other christian denominations in america. he should be using this wealth to support other church leaders and churches to spread the gospel and make disciples of all nations. but nope, hes just another selfish, greedy, robust american like most of our other politicians and leaders. but who am i to judge?

    gods hammer will fall upon him on the day of his judgement. and he will attone for his sins.

    satan is waiting for him, with a smile on his face, and open arms.

    i hope burning in eternity feels good Mr. Hinn. money and manipulation wont help you in hell…

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