Georgia minister might get stoned — the bad kind of stoned

January 19, 2008

Guest Post by Morbo

Today’s crazy, right-wing preacher who’s unable to keep his pants on comes from Decatur, Ga. Bishop Earl Paulk, 80, is the preacher in question. He’s apparently been a busy little bee.

On Monday, a warrant was issued for Paulk’s arrest. Two days later, he turned himself in to the police and pleaded guilty to perjury. He was sentenced to 10 years of probation and was fined $1,000.

How did Paulk get in this state? The situation is kind of confusing, but hang in there because the payoff is good. Paulk had already admitted to having a 14-year affair with an employee of his church, the Cathedral at Chapel Hill. Mona Brewer says Paulk pressured her into having sexual relations with him, telling her the only path to Heaven was through his shorts. The two engaged in this affair from 1989-2003. Brewer is now suing Paulk. (Paulk has since retired from pastoring the church.)

Testifying about this matter in court, Paulk admitted to the affair and said Brewer was the only woman he had had extra-marital relations with. But that was a lie. Paulk was also having an affair with his brother’s wife. That woman, Clariece Paulk, subsequently gave birth to a son, Donnie Earl Paulk. Donnie Earl grew up believing Earl Paulk was his uncle, but a court-ordered DNA test showed that they are father and son.

So basically, then DNA ratted out Earl Paulk. He lied under oath when he said he was having no other affairs. That’s perjury, a big no-no.

But wait, it gets better.

This is not the first time Paulk has faced charges of sexual misconduct. In December, Paulk’s granddaughter, Penielle White, told a TV station in Atlanta that Paulk inappropriately touched her and a friend, Jessica Battle, years ago when the two were 8 years old. Paulk denied those allegations but settled out of court when Battle filed a lawsuit.

Here’s the best part: Paulk has, in the past, been involved with an extreme faction of the Religious Right called Christian Reconstructionism. He preached something called “Kingdom Theology,” which holds that far-right fundamentalist Christians have a duty to take over the government and fashion a theocracy so Jesus will feel comfortable when he returns. The Reconstructionists are so extreme they make Pat Robertson look like a card-carrying member of the ACLU. They believe U.S. laws should be based on the legal codes of the Old Testament. Literally. And some of them advocate the proper Old Testament punishment for certain crimes: stoning.

I think you know what’s coming next. Under Reconstructionist philosophy, adultery and “unchastity” are capital offenses. The penalty is stoning.

I have some advice for Bishop Paulk: It’s obvious that for years you’ve been fixated on a certain part of your body. This might be a good time to switch your focus and begin watching your head instead.

No comment. This one’s too easy.

  • Thanks Morbo! (Most) everybody must get stoned under the genitocentric religionists. The Theocrazies are a horny bunch.

  • Ha Ha I finally found my all time favorite quote:

    “Paulk pressured her into having sexual relations with him, telling her the only path to Heaven was through his shorts.”

    I literally am chuckling still when reading this quote. I think I found my new pick up line at the bar, ha ha.

  • American founder of Chapel Hill Harvester Church, noted as “one of the country’s first great independent megachurches, it gained an international reputation for combining liturgical arts, such as dance and drama, with cutting-edge social ministry.” Paulk was somewhat more liberal than most Church of God pastors of the time. For instance, he allowed women at his church to wear jewelry.

    ‘The Devil made him do it’…Earl should’ve never allowed women to wear jewelry! 😉

  • When Jesus comes back he’s gonna be so pissed off. I can’t wait, really. I’m looking forward to all the true believers raising their arms and singing Hallelujah right before he starts smoting them left and right.

    Funny, if you ask yourself “What would Jesus do?” the answer is generally exactly the opposite of what his modern followers would do.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, i need to get ordained so i can go to the club and start preaching the path to heaven in relation to my shorts…

  • What is it with these people ??

    It’s like in Paulk’s mind, if he were under the threat of stoning he would not have succumb to his un-godlike urges.

    Why do people who do this stuff always seem to be the one’s telling us how to live, and more importantly, why do others not see this ridiculous hypocrisy ??

    I am positive god will love him swearing on a bible to tell the truth, and then telling numerous bold face lies. Old testament style should have him burning in the bowels of hell very soon. Thanks buddy for making all of those you ‘touched’ feel dirty, used, and betrayed.

  • “Paulk pressured her into having sexual relations with him, telling her the only path to Heaven was through his shorts”

    Did he tell her that he had the key to Heaven and she had the lock, and all she needed to do was open the gates?

    Or did he tell her he had Gabriel’s horn and all she needed to do was blow it?

  • I dunno. This case bothers me, and for more than just the simple things (Like that a heck of a lot of those ‘religious’ types end up being sick creeps).

    In some ways, I am reminded of the whole Lewinsky deal, and the question, to me, about just who’s damned business personal life is.

    I mean, the heart of the case is some woman claiming that “I was so stupid that I believed a guy for 14 years, even though he was obviously cheating on his wife with me” etc. etc. This isn’t a case of rape or anything like that– this was two consenting adults messing around. So what is relevant about digging out other affairs and private matters?

    Is it really the courts’ business? And do we want them to have this sort of power? Where do we draw a line and say that private life is private life?

  • There’s a peculiar creationist in Turkey, named Adnan Oktar, who had some similar problems back in the 80’s. He has been in the news again lately for legal success in suppressing his opponents’ websites, and by pumping out stupid but visually attractive creationist garbage under the pen-name Haryun Yahya. Some of his more impressive mistakes in his latest books include using photos of fishing lures (with visible hooks) as evidence of lack of evolutionary change, being taken in by fake fossils, and rampant mistakes in identification, such as identifying some serpulid worms as crinoids.

    He’s a bit full of himself – check out the astonishing number of photos that he has posted of himself at http://www.harunyahya.com/theauthor.php , and follow the link to http://www.harunyahya.com/theauthor_photo.php

    In particular, note his explanation that “His pen-name, Harun Yahya, is formed from the names Harun (Aaron) and Yahya (John) in the esteemed memory of the two Prophets who struggled against infidelity.” This takes on a little extra meaning when one reads of some of his legal and ethical difficulties. From http://www.mukto-mona.com/debunk/harun_yahya/ : “But the most shocking activities of Oktar’s and his followers were not the above. In the sudden raid, 20 women and 2 other men were found at his residence. Most of the females (girls really) were under the age 18, (Oktar is his middle 40’s) and they claimed that they had been having sexual intercourse with Oktar and members of his sect. ……. He and his followers claimed that they had only engaged in ‘anal and oral’ sex.” They apparently claimed that the Koran prohibited regular intercourse outside of marriage and other types of intercourse within marriage, but did not specifically prohibit other types of intercourse when unmarried, so they were within the letter of religious law.

  • “Are you sure there aren’t any women here?” /Monty Python.

    … far-right fundamentalist Christians have a duty to take over the government and fashion a theocracy so Jesus will feel comfortable when he returns. … They believe U.S. laws should be based on the legal codes of the Old Testament.

    Yeah, he spends his adult life trying to turn people away from the Old Testament and got killed because he annoyed power crazed hypocrites like these clowns but he’ll feel real comfortable to find his alleged followers ignored every fucking word he said.

    And some of them advocate the proper Old Testament punishment for certain crimes: stoning.

    WTF??

    OK, surely I’m not the only one who remembers the parable of the woman taken in adultery. They were going to do what to her? And who stopped it? And what did he say to the guys holding rocks in their hands??

    Jesus Christ, why can’t these cowards just say “Hi there, we want to grind your faces,” and leave religion out of it?

    In some ways, I am reminded of the whole Lewinsky deal, and the question, to me, about just who’s damned business personal life is.

    Nope. The plaintiff in the original case was an employee at the church, which made it a plain old sexual harassment case.

  • telling her the only path to Heaven was through his shorts
    have a duty to take over the government and fashion a theocracy so Jesus will feel comfortable when he returns

    It seeems I need to read Morbo more often. Great work sir.

  • “I’ll have two big flat ones, five little sharp ones and a bag of gravel”, Life of Brian – Monty Python, from a scene when buying some projectiles on the way to a stoning.

  • Today’s reading is from the Book of Dylan, Rainy Day Women #12 & 35:

    Well, they’ll stone ya when you’re trying to be so good,
    They’ll stone ya just a-like they said they would.
    They’ll stone ya when you’re tryin’ to go home.
    Then they’ll stone ya when you’re there all alone.
    But I would not feel so all alone,
    Everybody must get stoned.

  • “…the bad kind of stoned.”
    Reminds me of “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”.
    “…It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.”
    “What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?”
    “Ask a glass of water.”

  • So Jesus will feel comfortable when he returns? How pathetic. Better make sure they have a gold commode. Making lunacy reasonable by calling it religion. They prayed just as hard to Zeus with temples and temple law…will they never learn? My god is bigger than your god. Indoctrinate the young who will never question from fear of being punished.

  • Rule of thumb for these christocrazies: If they’re preaching against it, they’re doing it. And the louder and more vehement the condemnation, the MORE they’re doing it.

    Which makes me really queasy when I think about Huckabee’s comments about necrophilia and bestiality…..

  • This business of “spiritual leaders” using their clout to great sexual advantage is so common as to be a cliché. Whether it was Rajneesh or Jim Jones or any number of TV preachers, it’s just ridiculous how this goes on so repeatedly without casting the whole religion business into complete and widespread derision. I was just listening to a lecture on the Taiping Rebellion in the mid-1800s in China. Long story short: Chinese loser nutjob claims to be Jesus’ brother, starts up a huge quasi-Christian religious movement that goes militaristic, quite ascetic philosophy, takes over much of China, then the leader and his top henchmen start living the life of Riley as exemplified by their establishment of harems for themselves. While their licentiousness is granted full play, their followers are expected to be virtual Spartans (without the gay sex). As Mark Twain said, history doesn’t repeat itself, but it often rhymes.

  • I can’t actually decide which of these bothers me more. That he was engaged in a 14 year affair (not the right word, but don’t have a better one) with a woman under the duress that she would go to hell if she didn’t, or that he was having an affair wiht his brothers wife- exactly the kind of thing that would in fact rip a family to shreds….

    Oh, and the 8 year olds. Can’t forget them.

    Grrrrrr.

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