Kristol the Clown

Dear New York Times,

Word has it that the Times’ publisher, Arthur Sulzberger Jr., decided last fall that it was time to add another Republican columnist to the paper’s op-ed page, and the decision early on was to find a “lightning-rod conservative.” For reasons that I’ve never entirely understood, you picked the Weekly Standard’s Bill Kristol.

Now, it’s always difficult for any large institution to admit a mistake, especially on the heels of some high-profile embarrassments. I understand that. This is especially true when someone in a position of authority makes a poor employment decision, hiring the wrong person for an important job. (I suspect it’s tempting to adopt the president’s approach, and pretend that the unqualified hire is doing a heckuva job, no matter how humiliating the person’s on-the-job performance.)

But there comes a point at which the paper’s reputation matters more than the embarrassment that would come from admitting a mistake.

If Kristol were just a conservative hatchet-man, his columns would simply be predictable. After nearly five months of columns, however, the problem is more jarring — his work is that of an awful columnist, a weak writer, and a boring political observer. This isn’t about ideology; it’s about talent, or in this case, the lack thereof.

Take today’s column, for example.

Every presidential campaign has to produce a stream of appropriate statements for religious holidays, patriotic commemorations, and the like. Campaigns don’t expect to win votes with these messages. They produce them because there’s a risk of giving offense to some group or other if they don’t.

And candidates do it because it looks presidential. After all, a substantial portion of any White House’s output consists of official messages recognizing various national milestones, group anniversaries and dignitaries’ birthdays.

So, last week, in the midst of the excitement over the pope’s visit, the Clinton, Obama and McCain campaigns found time to issue Passover greetings. They were of course staff-produced, and somewhat formulaic. Still, differences among formulaic statements can be revealing.

Yes, without a hint of satire, Bill Kristol devoted his entire 800-word column in the nation’s most important newspaper to scrutinizing Passover press releases.

He is, in other words, making the New York Times look silly.

I suspect some of Kristol’s recent gems have given the paper pause. His inaugural column, four months ago, went a long way in making his critics’ concerns look well grounded. It was filled with predictable Republican Party talking points; it attributed a quote to the wrong person; and it heralded Hillary Clinton’s demise as a presidential candidate — just one day before she won the New Hampshire primary.

Last month, Kristol relied on a report from Newsmax, a right-wing online news site, to connect Barack Obama to a specific controversial church sermon from the Rev. Jeremiah Wright. The claim was bogus, and again, Kristol had to concede yet another error.

Clark Hoyt believes hiring Kristol was a mistake, and has said so publicly. William Safire believes hiring Kristol was a mistake, and has said so publicly. In your heart of hearts, Times editors, you believe it was a mistake, too.

A senior staffer at your paper recently told The New Republic, “Personally, I don’t think he’s an original voice, and that should be the standard. It’s the most coveted piece of journalistic real estate in the country.” It is, indeed, and you’re wasting it on a hack. Another Times staffer added that Kristol just isn’t a very good writer. “Having a robust conservative voice on the page is a good idea. But you want quality,” one staffer said.

So, go get some quality. Make a clean break, acknowledge that hiring Kristol was an unfortunate error, and find a capable replacement. There will be considerable short-term embarrassment — the Times will have to admit it was wrong — but it will pale in comparison to publishing more Kristol drivel.

We do realize, don’t we, that Mr. Kristol will spin being replaced at the NYT as further proof of it’s intolerant liberal biases?

I wonder if that was part of his rationale for taking the position in the first place, and is trying to produce purposely poor material.

  • Next week, Kristol Meth will be analyzing his grocery list and doing a test to see if Charmin is the most squeezable brand of TP.

  • Steve,

    Does a “quality” conservative writer even exist right now?

    The status quo is in shambles – what honest person could defend the right these days?

  • The NY Times could always hire Wm. Fuh-Buckley. No, he’s dead. There’s … no, he’s under indictment. What about … or … or ….? No, they’re all perverts. Hmmm. I guess Kristol’s as good as gets when it comes to conservatives.

    Here’s a thought: how about offering that real estate of yours to proven talent. Any liberal blogger will do very nicely (just don’t deny us our daily Carpetbagger).

  • “Personally, I don’t think he’s an original voice, and that should be the standard. It’s the most coveted piece of journalistic real estate in the country.” It is, indeed, and you’re wasting it on a hack.

    How is David Brooks anything but a hack? And Maureen Dowd, original voice? Does she do anything but recycle snark?

  • It’s the most coveted piece of journalistic real estate in the country

    Well we know what’s happening to real estate these days. NY TIMES FORECLOSE ON WILLIAM KRISTOL!

  • Let’s be fair apart from Krugman, and maybe Friedman they are all pretty weak. Or yesterday Dowd column was more enlighting? Probably Kristol is the worst of the bunch, but the NYT (and the WSJ too) regular columnists are nothing to be proud of.

  • I think Kristol should stay right where he is. So long as he’s the Time’s voice of conservatism, the right is not going to garner any new recruits, and it will just show independents how inane right wing thinking is. Besides, he seems good for a yuck now and then,

  • Gloria is right: if this is the most coveted piece of journalistic real-estate in the country, and Kristol ‘represents’ the so-called conservative position, that’s just fine with me. The more people who see that the current Republican party (which is far from conservative, or coherent) is in shambles and dominated by hacks whose highest intellectual efforts consist of mendacious cant, the better!

  • Kristol is obviously the Times’ charitable contribution to society. By keeping him in the paper, he is subsequently prevented from aimlessly roaming the streets of New York, kicking children, molesting leashed pets, and accosting the elderly for handouts by cleaning windshields with a greasy deli-sandwich wrapper….

  • As JMG notes, the problem is Pinch Sulzberger. They could dump Kristol, but if Pinch had anything to do with it, the next hire would be a disaster too.

    My local paper picks up some of the Times’ op-eds, but they don’t run Kristol. (Of course the rightards they do run, like Krauthammer, Jonah Goldberg, or the inane Z. Dwight Billingsly, aren’t any great prize.)

  • Gee..I was leaning Obama but now I just don’t know……it will all come down to the all important Yom Kippur greeting card, I reckon.

  • Um, CB, you did actually send this letter to the Times, didn’t you? Please say you did, or if not that you will later today. Pretty please? With sugar on it? 🙂

  • Let’s be fair apart from Krugman, and maybe Friedman they are all pretty weak. Or yesterday Dowd column was more enlighting? — Javier A, @8

    Dowd is a bitter bitch and stupid with it, so, agreed on this score. But Friedman??? Of the Friedman-unit (another 6 months and I-wreck will be over) infamy, Friedman? Bob Herbert is much better (and picks more interesting subjects) than Friedman. And Gail Collins is way more funny than Dowd. Frank Rich is good (very literate) though, his recent anti-Clinton mania is fast becoming as boring as Krugman’s anti-Obama one.

    Kristol’s only plus is that he generates enough ire in his readers to fire off letters to Editor, which proves to them he’s being read. Ditto Babbling Brooks, BTW; every column of his generates a page of Letters to the Editor, while other articles and columns generate one or two at best.

  • Brooks is a hack too. I read something he wrote on the NYT blog last week and there were about 100 ire-filled comments with only one supporting him. They closed the comments…

  • So, I finally had the time to go and read Kristol’s column… I wasn’t surprised that he had managed, somehow, to isolate McCain as the “best Seder understander”, though I’m still puzzled why understanding Seder (or understanding the passion of Christ, for that matter) should play any role in *politics*. But, what really caught my attention in the article was the following passage:

    “I might add that both Democratic campaigns missed an opportunity last week. They seem not to have noticed that the date of the first Seder, April 19, was also the 233rd anniversary of the battles of Lexington and Concord. So, a few days before Pennsylvanians vote, the candidates could have commemorated not just the Exodus from Egypt but also “the shot heard round the world,” thus identifying themselves all at once with political liberation, religious freedom and — yes! — the right to bear arms.”

    I didn’t know that the first Seder took place on April 19. And I don’t know enough about the American history (the citizenship exam was a bit of a joke, really, *and* it happened a long time ago), to have connected the dates (and dots) to Lexington and Concord.

    For me, the date — April 19 — is indelibly connected to the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising of 1943. Not some 223yrs ago, but just 65. A number far easier to remember and much more connected to the Jewish suffering mentioned in the Seder, seeing as it was, essentially, the death of Polish Jewry. Poland had been celebrating the anniversary, big time, every year, especially in the years ending with 5 or 0. Yet, Mr “ever-so-protective-of all-things-Jewish” Kristol doesn’t even seem to know about it.

    It seems that Billy-the-Clown’s vision is as circumscribed as mine, with far less excuse.

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