Guest Post by Morbo
I don’t know about you, but everywhere I go, I hear people asking the same questions: “When are we going to overhaul the Census Bureau?” and “Will this nation EVER get a GPS-style air traffic control system!?”
Yep, people are hopping mad. You can feel it on the streets. On CNN, it’s Census Bureau 24/7. Maybe you’ve seen the mass demonstrations in our cities, as people tote signs reading, “Count Me In For Census Bureau Reform!”
OK, I’m being a smart-aleck. No one cares about these bizarre ideas — except Newt Gingrich.
You might have noticed that the Republicans are in a bit of a bind. Their “brand” is toxic, and many of their candidates are about as welcome as a rabid wolverine covered with raw sewage at a high-society wedding.
But have no fear, Newt is coming to the rescue. In a recent edition of Human Events, the former speaker of the House outlined his bold, nine-point scheme to rescue the GOP from impending disaster this fall.
Some of it is familiar: make English the official language, repeal the gas tax for the summer and put right-wing nuts on the courts. Ho-hum. Perhaps recognizing that his party needs some new ideas, Gingrich boldly calls for the Census Bureau overhaul and the GPS-in-the-sky thing.
Who knows, these may be decent ideas (although I doubt it, since Gingrich backs them). But they seem somehow unlikely to capture the imagination of the public. I’m just not hearing a lot of demands for Census Bureau reform right now.
Newt, here’s the thing: Your boy Bush put the economy in the tank.
Gas prices have increased threefold on his watch with no end in sight. Food prices are going through the roof. People are losing their homes. Americans fear losing their jobs. The dollar is taking a beating overseas. Bush started an unnecessary war that has cost – what’s it up to? – oh, that’s right, $1 trillion. No one in your party stood up to him. In fact, they egged him on.
You dorks did all this — and now you think Census Bureau reform is going to pull your behinds out of the fire? Somehow I doubt it.
As a recent article in The New Yorker pointed out, the Republicans seem to be simply out of ideas. This is not surprising, since they have been preaching the same line since Benjamin Harrison.
But it’s good to see that Newt’s on the case. Just as I’m giddy at the thought of a serial adulterer overseeing our nation’s morals, I’m equally enthusiastic to hear more of his ideas for domestic and international policy, especially if they are as spell-binding as this Census Bureau thing.
Here’s something I never thought I’d say: Keep talking, Newt.
