The Religious Right is not lovin’ it at McDonald’s

June 7, 2008

Guest Post by Morbo

I’m not a huge fan of McDonald’s. It’s corporate fast food, unhealthy and not all that tasty. But I may have to run out for a Big Mac this weekend simply because the Rev. Donald Wildmon doesn’t want me to.

Wildmon, founder of the American Family Association, has been on a tear lately because McDonald’s has joined the National Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (NGLCC). According to Wildmon, this move means McDonald’s supports everything the NGLCC stands for, including the dreaded same-sex marriage.

Wildmon screams in an e-mail that has been making the rounds:

“The company gave an undisclosed amount of money to the NGLCC in return for being recognized as a major promoter of the homosexual agenda. In return, NGLCC placed Richard Ellis, vice president of communications of McDonalds USA, on the NGLCC Board of Directors.”

I’m not so sure about that. Maybe McDonald’s joined because they want gays to know their restaurants welcome them and appreciate their business.

Wildmon is famous for his boycotts, but he’s not calling for one of McDonald’s yet. He wants his legion of loyal followers to hector the staff at their local McDonald’s and send outraged e-mails to the national office.

My guess is that if he does call for a boycott, the impact will be pretty much zero.

Wildmon is a paper tiger, and McDonald’s, like it or not, is an American institution that can easily weather the weak feints of a professional prude in Tupelo, Miss. In fact, I suspect that this entire thing has more to do with Wildmon’s apparent favorite pastime — separating rubes from their money — rather than bringing about a change in the firm’s policies.

In any case, my sources close to McDonald’s report something is afoot that should really get Wildmon going. You heard it here first: Ronald McDonald and the Hamburglar are forming a domestic partnership! They plan to get Mayor McCheese to perform the ceremony, with a tasteful string quartet, led by the Grimace, providing accompaniment.

I hope they do it in California, just to piss Wildmon off even more.

…and not all that tasty.

Whoa, now. Let’s just stick to the facts.

🙂

  • I hope they auction off wedding invites. I need an excuse to go to Cali.

    Separate rubes from their money. Yessiree. Come on 7’s (gays, liburals, fill in your fav blank)…papa needs a new Benz!

  • I gotta go with doubtful (1) on this one. Based on sales, I think the McDonald’s hamburger wins the prize for the best recipe of the 20th century. The free market has spoken.

  • Oh good. I haven’t been to McDonald in years because it’s so unhealthy but just to support them against the hypocritical religious right, I’m off to get a shake and a cheeseburger.

  • My favorite Don Wildmon boycott is his Ford boycott because they support the “homosexual agenda”– he started it 2 years ago and has consistently taken credit for their major losses over the past 2 years. From an email from AFA:

    AFA began a boycott of Ford in March 2006 after Ford reneged on a commitment to stop funding homosexual groups. Ford’s sales have declined in 20 of the 23 months since the boycott began.

    Yes, Don, Ford is losing business because of a boycott that no one has heard of. It has nothing to do with the downturn in SUV sales or that American carmakers are having trouble in general.

  • BrownSquirt: Yap! Yap! Yap! Homosexual Agenda! Yap! Yap! Yap!
    McDonalds: Aww look, he’s hungry. Throw him some spoiled hamburgers.

    “The company gave an undisclosed amount of money to the NGLCC in return for being recognized as a major promoter of the homosexual agenda.”

    Maybe it shouldn’t, but this crap always makes me laugh. How exactly would the Golden Arches become a major promoter of the homosexual agenda? Subliminal messages on the sesame seed buns. Adverts that don’t feature clearly marked 1 Dad, 1 Mom and 2.5 kids families. Maybe he’s hoping for sex toys in the Happy Meals.

    The mind boggles.

    I’m not so sure about that. Maybe McDonald’s joined because they want gays to know their restaurants welcome them and appreciate their business.

    Look, I’d like equal rights to be the result of a massive kumbaya moment wherein the majority of people realizing that oppressing people is wrong and nasty and we should just cut it out darn it.

    But I’ll settle for the realization that there’s a lot of disposable income at stake so the less you’re a dick to people the more likely they are to buy your shit, move into your county and pay taxes, start a business and employ people, etc, etc.

  • Ain’t it just wunnerful, with all the shit going down Wal-Martians have nothing better to complain about? The boycott will probably appear to work since no one can afford to eat out or the gas to get there.

    Hey! Maybe we can float a rumor that Wal-Mart has hidden 666 in the bar codes.

  • Hi Morbo!

    Does McDonalds get the coveted window sticker: Proud Promoter of the Homosexual Agenda?

    Instead of Happy Meals, are we looking at Gay Meals?

    Will their restaurants finally get some decent interior decoration?

    Will I mention every gay stereotype I can think of?

    Man those Fundies only have one skeleton in their closets (JC’s himself) but they seem to have a lot of gays in there.

  • Wow. Usually when the reeleegus right gets their panties in a twist about a business, I’m off to support that business with a spring in my step and a song in my heart. However, McDonalds is so narsty (thank you, St. Morgan Spurlock) that this time, I’m torn. I think I’ll settle for a vague “good for them” applied to both sides and leave it at that.

    (heh heh heh, “sex toys in the Happy Meals”, heh heh heh)

  • Damn, this is like the old Coors boycott. How can I boycott something when I refuse to consume their crap in the first place?

  • Yes, apologies to my gay brothers and sisters, but nothing can make me eat Mc Donald’s so-called food.

    When travelling, however, I do make a point of stopping in to use the bathroom WITHOUT buying anything. Stealth toilet activism, bitches!

  • I received that email from Wildmon and tried to contact them to get more info. Apparently my personal emails to them are not important enough to warrant any response. Maybe if I had agreed to give a donation they would have “listened” to me.

    There are many things in this world with which I do not agree. I usually choose other avenues of communication to show my disapproval, however. As with all the wild emails telling us to boycott certain gas stations to “show ’em” that we aren’t going to take their crap of raising the cost of gasoline…well, that hasn’t worked too well, either. When you live in a country the size of America, unless you live in the city and can ride the bus or train to work, you are pretty much stuck paying for gasoline whether or not you like it.

    Because of my faith (religious beliefs, whatever you call it), I think that a better way to impact McDonald’s, gasoline companies, or even the Joe-Schmo on the street about the love of God is to LOVE PEOPLE and let them know that they are valuable human beings. An outright attack on a fellow citizen of earth is ridiculous, in my book, and will not win any support for my “agenda” or beliefs.

  • How exactly would the Golden Arches become a major promoter of the homosexual agenda? Subliminal messages on the sesame seed buns. — TAIO, @7

    Buns with seeds both at the top and the bottom for males, entirely seedless ones for females. Simple.

  • This reminds me of one of my favorite throwaway gags in Howard Cruse’s “Wendell” comic (for those of you who don’t know it, it was a gay-themed strip).

    Wendell, the hero, is leaving McDonald’s with his partner, Ollie’s, young son Farley, who is getting his first hit of a sugar rush.

    “Ronald McDonald is gay, Uncle Wendell!” he giggles.

    “Now now, Farley, flamboyant clothes are not necessarily any indication of…”

  • Maybe time for McD to unveil a new incrementing sign: “300 Fundermentalists NOT served”.

  • McDonalds should take the money spent on NGLCC and use it to make a better hamburger, or chicken sandwich, or something more tasty. Why be involved something so controversial. Maybe I live in a special part of the US, but I do have friends all over the country, and not a one of them thinks this is a good business idea–and let me clarify, they are not all pro-AFA. McDonalds needs to stick to hamburgers. Stay out of controversial issues. Same for any other corporation. I don’t hate gays, and I am certainly not afraid of them. I just think they need to keep their personal choices personal, and many do–not unlike most heterosexuals. So why did McDonalds have to be a corporate sponsor of the SF Gay Pride parade. This parade is disgusting. Who wants to see nasty naked people walking around with crude signs–Sickos, that’s who. Find a private nudist camp or something. Do your business privately. That is why I have a problem with McDonalds and their support of NGLCC. Why would a family (and that includes any type of family) friendly corporation support that? They are pushing the envelope all for one board member…who happens to be gay. If you want to support them, do so with your private money. Let the rest of us think we are supporting a family friendly place again.
    Oh…and to the person who stated that Ford wasn’t affected by the AFA boycott…I find it interesting that they publicly agreed to stop supporting homosexual organizations…maybe that was just in case? I’m just saying.

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