Somewhere, Karl Rove is thinking, ‘Why didn’t I think of that?’

December 2, 2005

Apparently, the crowd noise at Indianapolis Colts’ games can get so loud, some have begun to wonder if the team is “enhancing” the sound through artificial means.

The Indianapolis Colts deny they supplemented the already loud crowd noise in the RCA Dome during Monday night’s game against the Steelers by pumping heavy bass noise through the stadium’s speakers.

Senior executive vice president Pete Ward told the Indianapolis Star the Colts have the loudest stadium in the league, “with the fans naturally providing that sound.”

Any crowd noise enhancement would be a violation of NFL rules, but NFL spokesman Steve Alic says the league is not investigating whether the Colts tried to make it difficult for the Steelers’ offensive players to hear the snap counts.

In a political context, I have to wonder why the Bush gang — who’ve taken scripted stagecraft to new depths — didn’t think of this first. Not enough people showed up to cheer the president? No problem! Just turn up the volume on the Applause-o-Meter 9000!

Come to think of it, how do we know they haven’t thought of this before? Hmm…

They may, or may not, have already done this for their own rallies. It’s a certainty that’s how they trashed Howard Dean. That original scream was in a large, crowded room of very despressed campaign workers. He took off his coat, rolled up his sleeves, and gave them a rousing shout to go onward.

I saw it live. On the screen were maybe twenty or thirty of the crowd, tons of background noise competing with “the scream”. By the time Fox and the rest got done with it, there was one guy standing on the left and one woman’s face on the right. They had cut out the background noise completely. All you had was this maniacal raving coming from a head which nearly filled the screen in front of you. The Dems never objected. Just took it in the ass once again without complaint.

It’s not the only time either. I’ve seen them do this to Kennedy over and over again. The guy’s a great convention shouter – capable of delivering a real barn burner. They film it, edit it down so his face fully fits the TV screen, and he looks like a vein-popping fruitcake. They do it to Gore, too (now that he’s come to life).

I’m not sayiing “unfair” (though it is). Politics ain’t beanbag. And this stuff’s all as old as McLuhan’s “medium is the message”. It’s as old as photographing a politician at the moment he’s about to bite down on a drumstick at dinner. We’ve got to learn to work the medium, whatever it is. But we should also bitch whenever someone obviously manipulates it to the point of distortion.

  • I’ve seen a few W rallies on TV where it seemed the crowd was unusually boistorous. I assumed it was because they only let blindly loyal fans into the room. Maybe there’s more to it?

    Where’s Oliver Stone when we need him?

  • Since we have the lunatic leftist Hollywood industry firmly in our corner and they are a pillar of our secret plan to ban all weapons, force every woman to abort her first child, and fix the tax rate at 99.99%, we should be looking to them to level the playing field. I think a CGI Al Gore would have been a slamdunk! I wonder if the new Al Gore really is the real Al Gore or a CGI effect. Am I behind the curve on this? I did miss last week’s secret lefty meeting (I was out trying to undermine the very pillars of our democracy).

  • We would never use something as pedestrian as the Applaus-o-meter 9000. How Flintstones.

    We use magnetic fields to excite the auras of the fans, thus whipping them into a manic frenzy each time Peyton Manning makes a sound. The Colts’ helmets are lined with aluminum foil to prevent the control waves from impacting their performance.

    Shhh…don’t tell.

  • How to generate crowd noise, a step-by-step program:

    1. Win a game.
    2. Win another game.
    3. Win another game.
    4. Win another game.
    5. Win another game.
    6. Win another game.
    7. Win another game.
    8. Win another game.
    9. Win another game.
    10. Win another game.
    11. Score a touchdown on your first possession with a huge pass and long run.
    12. Continue to win the game.

    Yeah, sounds like a jealous Pittsburgh fan can’t handle loosing to the undefeated Colts. Don’t worry Stealers fans, no one will beat them this year, so you’re not alone. Also, it doesn’t hurt to play in a dome.

    Oh, and Bush does use artificial crowd noise because he uses an artificial crowd. If it was a real crowd, only 30% or so would cheer for him, and that would sound much weaker.

  • I’m a Colts season ticket holder (and a HUGE Carpetbagger Report fan!) and I can guarantee that the RCA Dome isn’t piping in any crowd noise. The speakers in the dome are suspended from the ceiling and it would be pretty apparent if the low-frequency sound was used. I will say that the crowd has become more sophisticated over the years. I’ve been going to games since 1997 or so (in-laws had tickets since 1984) and early on the crowd was lackluster and not into it. In 2003 they got much better and figured out when to yell and when not too. Last year we really cranked it up and I noticed that games were LOUD.

    Whatever. ESPN just likes to create controversy ’cause their coverage sucks. If they were more of a news network and less entertainment-focused they wouldn’t have to resort to things like this and 24/7 T.O. coverage.

    I wouldn’t put it past the Bushites to do something like this, though.

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