When it comes to a “comfort zone,” Bush clearly likes giving speeches in front of military audiences. His address on Iraq last week was at the Naval Academy, which followed a speech at Osan Air Base, which followed a similar speech at Elmendorf Air Force Base. And that’s just within the last two weeks. It prompted Salon’s Tim Grieve to ask, “How many military bases are there, anyway?”
As it turns out, not as many as before.
Alan Abelson had a very funny column in the current issue of Barron’s (thanks to reader D.D. for the tip) suggesting that the Base Realignment and Closure commission may pose a new political challenge to the Bush White House — by taking away speaking venues.
[Bush] has demonstrated a clear preference, when seeking to rally his fellow citizens to support the war, for making his pitch at military installations. Security is no doubt one reason; political stagecraft another. But he also likely is influenced by the certainty of a hearty reception and, equally important, the absence of those pesky protestors who are prone to crop up wherever they’re not wanted.
Trouble is, paradoxically, because of the pressing need to cut spending across the board, the number of military bases is being deliberately shrunk. No fewer than 22 major facilities are slated to become history and another 33 are to undergo “major realignments,” actions that Mr. Bush has ordained with the necessary approval. It’s only a matter of time, we fear, before the president runs out of those congenial venues in which to give his speeches.
What’s a Bubble-Boy President to do? Abelson has an idea for readily-available facilities with lots of security that the Bush gang might want to consider — prisons.
That prisons per se are unquestionably well-guarded is evidenced by the telling factor that nobody in full possession of his senses ever tries to force his way into one. And while it’s true that the inmates may be murderers, thieves, swindlers or drug dealers — in short, folks you probably wouldn’t want to have over for dinner — with rare exceptions, and those could be kept in solitary confinement for so special an occasion, their patriotism is unimpeachable.
On its face, of course, the notion is ludicrous. There are practical objections as well. Many prisons are bursting at the seams, their populations swollen by the influx of ex-CEOs. Even worse, the numbers of inmates nationwide are further mounting inexorably with the addition of errant politicians — congressmen especially, but mayors and judges and other former public servants as well. Which means that you’re getting a lower class of criminal these days.
OK, it’s not a perfect plan. But Bush will need to think of something because fewer bases means fewer venues where he can catapult the propaganda.