The radical gay penguin agenda must be stopped

As a rule, I find conservative activists embrace a rather silly agenda, but they’re particularly entertaining when they go after harmless children’s books. In the latest example, children in Savannah, Missouri, need to be shielded from allegedly-gay penguins.

A children’s book about two male penguins who raise a baby penguin has been moved to the nonfiction section of two public library branches after parents complained it had homosexual undertones.

The illustrated book, And Tango Makes Three, is based on a true story of two male penguins, named Roy and Silo, who adopted an abandoned egg at New York City’s Central Park Zoo in the late 1990s.

The book, by Peter Parnell and Justin Richardson, was moved from the children’s section at two Rolling Hills’ Consolidated Library’s branches in Savannah and St. Joseph in northwest Missouri. Two parents had expressed concerns about the book last month.

Apparently, experts said these kinds of adoptions are fairly common in the penguin world, and the events in the book actually took place in real life. But the library director agreed to move the book so it would decrease the chance that the story would “blindside” readers.

Who could argue with such sensible thinking? Children might learn more about penguins’ social structures, which might lead them to believe unattended baby penguins would be better off with two adoptive parents than not. It’s clearly a plot by the radical homosexual penguin community to poison the minds of America’s youth.

“the events in the book actually took place in real life”

… and there’s the rub. Besides, Jesus condemned gay penguin sex when he condemned the morning-after pill.

  • Then I hope they don’t watch the Spongebob Squarepants episode where Spongebob and Patrick raise a scallop together.

  • And the Army recently had to disband the elite 1st Penquin Special Operations Detachment because of the level of gayness within its ranks.

  • If only the Academy hadn’t turned up the band and played them off so quickly, we would have learned that those stuffed penguins carried up on stage at the Oscars were in support and encouragement of “And Tango Makes Three.” Who says the timid ceremony had no political controversy?

  • Uh, does anyone know whether kids aren’t allowed to check books out of the nonfiction section of this library, or is there some deeper statement here about social conservatives’ reading habits….

  • Gah! Does this beg a lot of questions.

    What kind of slut female penguin abondoned her egg in the first place?

    Where was the biological father to prevent this attempted egg-sitting abortion?

    Did the poor penguin chick raised by Silo and Roy manage to engage in hetrosexual relations later in life?

    Were Silo and Roy practicing homosexuals, or did they just hang around together?

    and finally:

    What kind of knee-jerk reactionaries live in Savannah, Missouri?

  • We have a bill pending in our state Congress to make Christianity the official state religion, the anti-homosexual penguin agenda, and yesterday a white supremacist filed against Roy Blunt (R – MO, 7th) on the Democratic ticket.

    I used to take pride in the Sho-Me state. Now I’m started to get embarassed.

  • “a white supremacist filed against Roy Blunt (R – MO, 7th) on the Democratic ticket.” – MAA

    This is recruiting by the Democratic Party?

  • After reading Judges 19 (the dirt begins at verse 21) and Genesis 19 (esp. verses 4-8 and after Lot goes into the cave with his daughters, verse 30), I’m not sure whether Christianity ought not to be declared a mental illness.

  • the library director agreed to move the book so it would decrease the chance that the story would “blindside” readers.

    and perhaps secretly informing to the NSA on those patrons who actually check the book out.

    Gay penguins are on the march.

  • “and perhaps secretly informing to the NSA on those patrons who actually check the book out.” — Kali,

    Now, don’t get paranoid. It’s the FBI that follows up on leads. The NSA doesn’t have the manpower because they are too busy firing their gay translators 😉

  • What I heard was that the bably penquin’s mom got pregnant, and the pharmacist at the Penquin-Mart wouldn’t sell lher a morning-after pill. So grandpappy penquin grabbed his shotgun and took off to find the s.o.b. who did the dirty deed. Next day, there was a wedding in the penquin town. Everyone got dressed in their tuxedos and got wasted. Sometime later the baby was born, but by then, the parents found out they couldn’t stand each other. Since divorce is against penguin beliefs, the mama took off across glacier lines in the middle of the night. What was the young daddy penquin to do? He put an ad in the penquin gazette and found someone to help raise the baby. Since homosexuality is illegal in the penquin town, it never occurred to him that there were any homosexuals in town (or maybe it did occur to him?). Whatever. Baby penquin is doing fine and mama is a lobbyist.

  • Damn those gay penguins – they must be stopped or the sanctity of marriage will be under attack. Where is the consitutional amendment banning gay penguins from raising children. They threaten American freedom. They are terrorists. They were conspiring with Saddam. The NSA must be allowed to listen to their telephone calls.

  • “The NSA must be allowed to listen to their telephone calls.” — ET

    Kind of safe for them, as the NSA doesn’t have any penguin translators.

  • This makes my head hurt…a lot…

    Dont these things to do with their lives? Like considering how the administration that they most likely voted for is proud of trade agreements with India that make it easier for their employers to outsource their jobs?

  • Yeah, it’s outrageous, but let’s wait and see if O’Reilly or Hannity can find a fabrication to hang on this that outdoes the truth for outrageousness, times two. *audible sigh*

  • Gridlock: I’d favor moving the children’s Bible Storybook to the fiction section. Don’t want any secular kids to be blindsided, either.

  • Damn those secular penquinists and their anti-god, pro gay agenda! Next thing you know, they’ll blame the melting ice caps on global warming, and not God punishing those homosexual penquins.

  • Support Penguin Family Values in 06-
    And protect our children from twisted tales of penguin perversity so they don’t get blindsided in the library.
    The animals went two by two on Noah’s Ark…
    Because God’s plan is clear.
    Marriage equals a male penquin plus a female penguin, and they also don’t have abortions or practice birth control.
    Waumpuscat, where are you when we need you?
    It’s time for you to bring your concise clarity to the thorny issues of Penguin Love.

  • Yes, in some circles, reality can be quite “blindsiding”. A children’s reading circle is apparently one of them. Now, on to the wholesome story of the Big Bad Wolf who wants to get at those three little pigs, who are assuredly brothers in Jesus and not doing anything Mother Goose wouldn’t approve of.

  • OK, folks … I’d like to caution all of you down there. If you let gay penguins into your country, you’re starting down that slippery slope.

    Our only penguins are in the zoo, but obviously, they’ve affected the whole society up here (Canada) because gay marriage is legal (at least for now)! Our Bush-loving Prime Minister is going to try to take it away, but even one of the mainstream Christian churches is allowing gay weddings to be performed.

    Good luck to you all down there … and if you know any same-sex couples who want to get married, Toronto has a great Pride weekend at the end of June!

  • Penguin Sin
    God damn… I just realized that absolutely NO penquins on this planet are actually married, and but they must ALL be having wild sex and raising illegitimate penguins out of wedlock. Does the library director know about this?

  • I live in Savannah, Mo., and I’m proud to live in a place where the Savages (the school mascot…No, really) will stand up against these Commie, homosexual, flighless birds who are mounting (pun intended) an assault against the santicty of good, clean heterosexual, ornitholigical marriage. But really, people, surely you all knew penguins were gay. Only a gay bird would dress so impeccably.

    I’m starting to think there’s a reason this town has the same name as a city in Georgia, home of the most airtight sodomy laws in the nation. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go take the “George Bush’s Dumbass Head On A String” air freshener off the rearview window of my car before I get called in for interrogation by Bubba Johnson, our local Homeland Security officer.

    Peace out.

    Dan

  • Something tells me that many in the penguin species are, perhaps, far more advanced intellectually than many humans. Clearly, Savannah, Missouri, has at least a few who are members of the homo sapien moronis sub-species.

  • Hasn’t anyone seen “March of the Penquins”? The MALES hatch the eggs!!!! So of course if there is an egg the male penguin will do what comes naturally.

    David

  • Well, we can’t have nature itself contradicting what Christianity deems natural, can we? … perhaps why environmental protection is treated almost as blasphemy with these types. Nature is subversive!

  • This is just so stupid that it deserves no response other than taking these people and bitchslapping them until they come out of their religion induced fugue.Now i’m going to watch my two male kittens wrap themselves around each other and fall soundly asleep.Geez,what a bunch of dopes.

  • These obviously were Hollywood Penquins on there way to see Brokeback Tundra. They stopped in South Dakota and saved the egg from a red state breakfest. Little did they know when they got to Missiouri they were not Christians and had to waddle out of there pronto.

  • STEPHAN AND SPUDCHICK, RIGHT ON ABOUT CHRISTINSANITY! WHY DO BIBLE -THUMPERS Hve to be so phobic?Why do they think a book of fables extolling killing for petty infraction s warrants society giving into their nonsense?I am glad this is America, not ancient ISRAEL! T he first 4 commandments go aginst freedom of religion.I bow down before no god!

  • Frikkin’ ‘merikans – my dad’s a preach, hates gays and when asked how to deal with that issue, he says ‘love them;. WTF

  • Have you heard about the two Maryland TSA agents who walked into a library in Rockville, MD, and started to lecture people on the public computers about pornography? Even pulled one patron aside for some one-on-one counseling. Your tax dollars at work.

    Perry – Rockville, MD

  • Well, I’m from the little town and I’d like to say not all people in the town are idiots…well, some aren’t anyhow. It’s really a small town, too many churches, and not enough bars 🙂 No, in all reality we’ve got some real reactionaries here, and people never realize it. Thanks to whomever posted it, the title was definitley an eye catcher *lol*

    —Lost in Savannah, MO

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