When creating caricatures of conservative Republican candidates, liberals often describe them as narrow-minded ideologues who pit people against each other and would, if they could, turn back the clock in the hopes of making the country more like a silly episode of Leave it to Beaver. In general, it’s rarely a fair description. In Vernon Robinson’s case, it’s eerily on point.
C&L has a video of a Robinson campaign ad that’s really worth watching. John notes that it “isn’t a joke or a parody commercial,” though it’s easy to imagine that it was created for The Daily Show or Saturday Night Live. Keep in mind, the ad was from 2004, not 2006, though Robinson is running for Congress again this year and may very well use it again.
If you can’t watch the video, here’s the script. The name of the ad, literally, is “Twilight Zone v. Leave It To Beaver.”
Announcer voice-over: If you’re a conservative Republican, watching the news these days can make you feel as though you are in “The Twilight Zone.” Americans are under attack from Islamic extremists in every corner of the world. (On screen: TV set and “The Twilight Zone” theme song; screen grab from Al-Jazeera footage of Osama bin Laden, hostage)
Announcer voice-over: Homosexuals are mocking holy matrimony, and the lesbians and feminists are attacking everything sacred. Liberal judges have completely rewritten the Constitution. You can burn the American flag and kill a million babies a year, but you can’t post the Ten Commandments or say “God” in public. Seven out of every 10 black children are born out of wedlock, and Jackson and Sharpton claim the answer is racial quotas. (On screen: photos of the Revs. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton)
Announcer voice-over: And the aliens are here, but they didn’t come in a spaceship. They came across our unguarded Mexican border by the millions. (On screen: photos of spaceships and people climbing over a wall)
Vernon Robinson: I’m Vernon Robinson. If you send me to Congress, I’ll send that (points to television set) back to the Twilight Zone. I approve of this message and of traditional American values.
At the end of the commercial, the viewer sees a scene from Leave it to Beaver, with the show’s theme song playing.
I wish I could make this stuff up.