You probably didn’t see the connection between the war and domestic agriculture

May 8, 2006

I can appreciate the fact that the [tag]war[/tag] in [tag]Iraq[/tag] has become a national security and public relations nightmare for the [tag]White House[/tag], so it stands to reason that the [tag]Bush[/tag] gang would want administration officials to put as positive a spin as possible on war developments.

That said, this is just embarrassing.

Career appointees at the Department of Agriculture were stunned last week to receive e-mailed instructions that include Bush administration “talking points” — saying things such as “President Bush has a clear strategy for victory in Iraq” — in every speech they give for the department.

“The President has requested that all members of his cabinet and sub-cabinet incorporate message points on the Global War on Terror into speeches, including specific examples of what each agency is doing to aid the reconstruction of Iraq,” the May 2 e-mail from USDA speechwriter Heather Vaughn began.

The Department of [tag]Agriculture[/tag]? In every speech? I can see it now … “Ladies and gentleman, we’ve seen a 4% increase in the demand for food stamps over the last year, and, by the way, stay the course, don’t cut and run, we’ll fight them there so we don’t fight them here. Thank you for your attention.”

I’m only half-kidding.

There’s a sample introduction: “Several topics I’d like to talk about today — Farm Bill, trade with Japan, WTO, avian flu . . . but before I do, let me touch on a subject people always ask about . . . progress in Iraq.” See? Smooth as silk.

So then you talk about how “we are helping the Iraqi people build a lasting democracy that is peaceful and prosperous.” If it looks like the audience is with you, try to slip in the old Iraq/al-Qaeda/terrorism link and say Americans are helping build a country “that will never again be a safe haven for terrorists.”

The WaPo’s Al Kamen posted a .pdf of the email, and I’m afraid it’s just as silly as it seems. Indeed, a few of these might as well have been written by The Onion.

What’s more, staffers at the [tag]Department of Agriculture[/tag] were also instructed to prepare a memo on all of their successful pro-war spin in weekly summaries to the White House, which apparently wants to keep track of cabinet agencies’ propaganda efforts.

In other words, play up Bush’s “clear strategy for victory in Iraq” (actual quote from the Agriculture memo) or you’ll get a call from Karl Rove. These guys made a right turn at ridiculous and are heading straight for pathetic.

I don’t have anything insightful to say here. I just want to say that this is fantastic stuff. Made my day.

  • This explains why the mail man was telling me the other day how much better it is now that there is mail service in Iraq again.

  • tomorrow in my regular pitch meeting i’m going to open up my presentation this way. brilliant.

  • Haha!

    Er, well…old Cato the Censor used to end his speeches each time with “Carthage must be destroyed!” He could be talking about grain or what color to paint the Senate building. It didn’t matter.

    While old Cato was lead scumbag in a family of scumbags, his epilogue to his speeches seem lame and pathetic. Eventually, though, Cato conspired to provoke a weakened Carthage into a war in which Rome utterly destoyed the city–perhaps the only time Rome literally wiped a city off the face of the earth.

    So perhaps we shouldn’t laugh too much–there’s precedent here.

  • Honestly, yet another example that with these guys it’s politics, not policy, 24-7. Disgusting.

  • “the National Weather Service has issued a Tornado Warning for Douglas, Sarpy, and Washington Counties in Nebraska. No tornado activity is expected for the Baghdad Metropolitan area, thanks to Operation Iraqi Freedom”

  • The dog catcher was giving me a ticket for not having my dog on a leash when he suddenly said “You know before President Bush had a clear plan for victory in Iraq the dogs used to roam the streets and terrorize the poor Iraqi children.”

  • The market price of yellow sorghum and dropped-calves futures rose dramatically yesterday when it was announced by the White House that the Bush plan for victory in Iraq was finally being translated into Arabic.

  • No, they made a hard right turn at democracy and are heading straight to fascism.

  • This is fascinating, funny and pathetic all at once. It seems to be an attempt to further consolidate power in the executive branch and push America closer to “Big Brother” where every aspect of government is tied to the dear leader. Scenes from the movie “1984” come to mind – the mindless workers eating, listening as the various accomplishments by the government are blared at them. Those public service announcements were all tied to the war.
    Bush is certainly not acting like he is expecting to step down in ’09. He seems to be laying the groundwork for a longer term leadership role. As crazy as it sounds, if you look at the new policy in those terms it isn’t so funny anymore.

  • Rove’s looking more and more like a one-trick pony. The PR offensives used to work when the public, for some reason, felt that Bush and his administrationcould be believed. He needs to look at the poll numbers that show that most Americans don’t trust Bush and the more they try to spin, the more cynical the public becomes. The problem with being a leader is that people actually expect you to do something, and not just put out PR BS.

  • Wow, for anyone who lived close to the Soviet Union, does “Radio Moscow” ring any bells?

  • Thanks for this post, CB. I needed a good laugh. And thanks to 2Manchu, Ed and Neil for their comments. This is the happiest I’ve been in a month!

  • Wow, looks like he’s serious in trying to get his mojo back, forcing the Ag people to talk about pork bellies and cattle futures and bullshit as well.

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