‘What’s it like to be kidnapped, man?’

October 27, 2006

The president had a very lengthy chat in the Oval Office this week with a series of conservative writers, including National Review’s Byron York and US News’s Michael Barone. There are plenty of gems in the transcript, but like Michael Crowley, this one left me shaking my head:

“One of the stories – interesting stories I tell is about the fellow that came here. He got kidnapped and he was rescued pretty early by our Delta team. I said, ‘What’s it like to be kidnapped, man? It must have been weird – Baghdad, to be kidnapped.'”

For some reason, reading this reminded me an episode of The West Wing called, “Posse Comitatus.”

BARTLET: C.J. Cregg was getting threats so we put an agent on her. He’s a good guy. He was on my detail for a while, and he was in Rosslyn. He walked in the middle of an armed robbery, and was shot and killed after detaining one of the suspects.

RITCHIE: Oh. Crime. Boy, I don’t know.

BARTLET: [sighs] We should have a great debate, Rob. We owe it to everyone. When I was running as a governor, I didn’t know anything. I made them start Bartlet college in my dining room. Two hours every morning on foreign affairs and the military. You can do that.

RITCHIE: How many different ways you think you’re gonna find to call me dumb?

BARTLET: I wasn’t, Rob. But you’ve turned being un-engaged into a Zen-like thing, and you shouldn’t enjoy it so much is all, and if it appears at times as if I don’t like you, that’s the reason why.

RITCHIE: You’re what my friends call a superior sumbitch. You’re an academic elitist and a snob. You’re, uh, Hollywood, you’re weak, you’re liberal, and you can’t be trusted. And if it appears from time to time as if I don’t like you, well, those are just a few of the many reasons why.

(“Hail to the Chief ” starts to play in the background)

BARTLET: They’re playing my song…. In the future, if you’re wondering, “Crime. Boy, I don’t know” is when I decided to kick your ass.

Maybe it’s just me.

I wonder who this was directed at…….

But you’ve turned being un-engaged into a Zen-like thing, and you shouldn’t enjoy it so much is all, and if it appears at times as if I don’t like you, that’s the reason why.

It says perfectly what I feel toward this president.

  • What’s it like to have a brain, to be curious, and actually think things through. Man, that must be weird.

  • You just chose my favorite West Wing moment ever. I actually stood up from my chair after that last line.

    I’ve been waiting for a line like that, said to Bush, for the last 6 years. Nothing has come close. Maybe Aaron Sorkin could write for Nancy Pelosi or Harry Reid if we take either house back.

  • Re #3, yeah and then after that if we could just get the D’s to all watch the scene in the Sorkin-written American President where the President actually admits proudly to being a card-carrying member of the ACLU, over and over until it sinks in, we’d be getting somewhere. . .

  • From Praise of Folly by Erasmus, 1509

    To return to the point, Fortune favors the injudicious and the venturesome, people who like to say ‘The die is cast.” But wisdom makes men weak and apprehensive, and consequently you’ll generally find the wise associated with poverty, hunger and the reek of smoke, living neglected, inglorious and disliked. Fools, on the other hand, are rolling in money and are put in charge of affairs of state; they flourish, in short, in every way. For if a man finds his happiness in pleasing princes and spending time amongst those gilded bejeweled godlike creatures, he’ll learn that wisdom is no use at all to him, and is indeed decried above all by people like this. If he wants to get rich, how much money can he make with wisdom for a guide, if he recoils from perjury, blushes if he’s caught telling a lie and takes the slightest notice of those scruples about thieving and usury which are so disturbing to the wise? And then if anyone aspires to ecclesiastical wealth and preferment, a donkey or buffalo would get there faster than a wise man. If you’re after pleasure, then women (who play the biggest part in the comedy) are whole-heartedly for the fools, and flee in horror from the wise man as from a scorpion.

  • “One of the stories – interesting stories I tell is about the fellow that came here. He got kidnapped and he was rescued pretty early by our Delta team. I said, ‘What’s it like to be kidnapped, man? It must have been weird – Baghdad, to be kidnapped.'”

    For some reason, this prompted a flashback to “Southpark: Bigger, Longer, Uncut” and the lead-up to Wynona Ryder’s ping pong ball trick.

    “War…wow, man…heavy…wow.” And she didn’t miss a single one! 😉

    Where’s Big Gay Al when you need him??

  • I guess if we had Dems like Bartlett, someone would have kicked Bush’s ass by now.

    On the other hand, isn’t this the episode where Jed orders the assassination that will have reprecussions for the rest of his administration?

  • But isn’t that the episode where Ritchie tells Bartlett that he’s anintellectual snob who despises the common folk? I mention that because I remember the first Bush-Gore debate and saw a mismatch between someone who had a grasp of the issues and someone totally out of his depth and manifestly not ready for prime time. I’ll let you decide which candidate was which.

    I was sure it was all over, just like Bartlet’s people “knew” their guy had creamed the opposition. The I saw the media account – Gore “lied” about James Lee Whitt, he “Snorted”, he was too “stiff” and sounded like a smug schoolkid. The polls then switched and, lo and behold, Bush won! Bush was even worse in debate three but the consensus again gave him the nod.

    Trouble is, Aaron Sorkin writes fiction. And his shows don’t do well in the ratings. Adlai Stevenson was once told that all thinking people would vote for him. “That’s not enough”, he replied, “I need a majority.”

    Sigh

  • But isn’t that the episode where Ritchie tells Bartlett that he’s anintellectual snob who despises the common folk? I mention that because I remember the first Bush-Gore debate and saw a mismatch between someone who had a grasp of the issues and someone totally out of his depth and manifestly not ready for prime time. I’ll let you decide which candidate was which.

    I was sure it was all over, just like Bartlet’s people “knew” their guy had creamed the opposition. The I saw the media account – Gore “lied” about James Lee Whitt, he “Snorted”, he was too “stiff” and sounded like a smug schoolkid. The polls then switched and, lo and behold, Bush won! Bush was even worse in debate three but the consensus again gave him the nod.

    Trouble is, Aaron Sorkin writes fiction. And his shows don’t do well in the ratings. Adlai Stevenson was once told that all thinking people would vote for him. “That’s not enough”, he replied, “I need a majority.”

    Sigh

  • Actually, it wasn’t “Hail to the Chief” that starts playing. It’s “Victorious in War Shall Be Made Glorious In Peace.”

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