The ‘War on Christmas’ is surprisingly lucrative

I imagine in some circles, the “controversy” is still a fairly big deal, but my sense is that this year’s “war on Christmas” is largely a bust. It was vaguely faddish last year, but most sensible people got sick of the issue quickly. Reasonable, levelheaded Americans figured out a long time ago that there is no war, the vast majority of the country celebrates and enjoys the holiday, and the conservative culture warriors probably just need to pick up a new hobby.

But they can’t. Not because there’s a nefarious scheme to undermine Christianity, and not because there are key skirmishes yet to be fought, but because the religious right has figured out that this silly little “War on Christmas” is a cash cow.

For Conservative Christian groups, this year’s hot gift is a weapon for fighting back in the “War on Christmas,” be it a button, a bumper sticker or a memo with advice to the troops.

The Mississippi-based American Family Association says it has sold more than 500,000 buttons and 125,000 bumper stickers bearing the slogan “Merry Christmas: It’s Worth Saying.”

The Alliance Defense Fund, a Christian legal aid group that boasts a network of some 900 lawyers standing ready to “defend Christmas,” says it has moved about 20,000 “Christmas packs.” The packs, available for a suggested $29 donation, include a three-page legal memo and two lapel pins.

And Liberty Counsel, a conservative law firm affiliated with the Rev. Jerry Falwell, says it has sold 12,500 legal memos on celebrating Christmas and 8,000 of its own buttons and bumper stickers.

This adds up to a very serious fundraising scheme.

The Alliance Defense Fund shipped 20,000″Christmas packs” this year. The American Family Association sold more than 500,000 buttons and 100,000 magnets. The AFA’s Don Wildmon refused to get into specifics, but acknowledged that the project turned a profit — so much so that he plans to sell buttons in the spring about Easter.

Given the costs and the sales figures, a friend of mine got out a calculator.

Basic math says the Liberty Counsel has pulled in an estimated $300,000+, the Alliance Defense Fund an estimated $500,000+, and the American Family Association an estimated $600,000+ from selling their “War on Christmas” wares.

As I see it, we can draw two conclusions from this. One, even these religious right groups probably realize Christmas is not “under attack,” but cynically exploit the fears of their members in order to pad their budgets.

And two, if retailers acceded to right-wing demands and dropped “Happy Holidays” and “Seasons Greetings” from their commercial vocabulary altogether, the religious right would probably experience a deep sense of panic.

Two old sayings come to mind:
1. A fool and his money soon go separate ways.
2. For the fundies – The love of money is the root of all evil.

Do you think any of these proceeds will go to help people who are actually fighting a REAL war? Ha ha ha ha.

But I suspect that’s one reason people are getting a little sick of the “WoC.” Until Falwell et al can show they’re taking casualties, trying to say a failure to wish shoppers Merry Christmas = Soliders getting blown up by IEDs, must seem especially crass.

  • The Mississippi-based American Family Association says it has sold more than 500,000 buttons and 125,000 bumper stickers bearing the slogan “Merry Christmas: It’s Worth Saying.”

    Perhaps what Santa should really give them are buttons and bumper stickers saying “Get a Life: It’s Worth Doing”.

  • If you look at one of Al Franken’s books, I think it’s called “The Truth,” he talks about using fear to control people. I think Christmas is a time of year when the whole world just chills out and settles into this long comfortable winter mode. I think they don’t like Christmas becuase that annual chill-out keeps them from getting people into the freaked-out frame of mind that makes them just like them. So they start a controversy.

  • The war on “the stolen pagan celebration of the rebirth of the sun by suggesting that the Christian Messiah was born in December when in reality it was April”

    The next time someone aggressively growls “Merry Christmas” towards me I hope I retain the prescence of mind to reply “And may the rebirth of the Sun bring light and warmth to you and yours this year.”

  • Thanks CB. As I see it, I stand to cop, er I mean coup, $110k off my War on Channaku; $90k on my War on Whatever the Hell Hindu’s Celebrate; $40k on my War Against Bodhi Day and working with Time’s Magazine I hope to make over $6 billions with my War on YOUR Birthday.

    Any suggestions for buttons or bumper stickers anyone?

  • Lance is right. The war on Solstice was a lot worse than the war on Christmas, and in that war the “good” Christians didn’t just refuse to say “Happy Solstice”, they burned people at the stake who had the audacity to point out that the Christian fairytales looked a lot like the older myths they all knew.

    http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Mysteries-Original-Pagan-God/dp/0609807986

    Christian leaders really do thrive on fear, they have always acted like they’re persecuted which is utterly laughable. But the reason they do this is because fear shuts down the human brain. If your flock ever stops being afraid, they’ll start thinking, and that’s never led to any good for the Christian leadership.

  • “..the religious right has figured out that this silly little “War on Christmas” is a cash cow.”

    I know I’m a Catholic In Name Only, but I’m pretty sure that’s a huge no-no in the eyes of God.

    When the Rapture comes, and these evangelical clowns are stuck down here with us, the collective “oh, shit” from their mouths is going to make me laugh my ass all the way through the Tribulation.

  • The folks that are buying this shit are the same folks who consider the “Left Behind” Series of books to be the equivalent of Shakesphere and get their news from 700 Club and/or Rush. How can they not fall for this crap? Combine willful ignorance, a joy of unlearning, a fear of books not “written” by Xtians and a fear of all things different then how can they not buy into this shit.

    In a lot of ways I really do feel sorry for many of these folks. Trapped in a world they refuse to understand and too stubbornly ignorant to realize it. Such a waste of humanity.

  • Hey Former Dan, I watched one of the Left Behind movies and it was so full of unintentional funniness, that I forgot to throw up for a few minutes.

    Bejeezus Now!

  • I follow this stuff pretty closely and I’m here to tell you this is no laughing matter. The “war” is real. Fact #1: Spencer’s Gifts, the company that brought the world the Whoopee Cushion is now selling tree ornaments which are anatomically correct snowmen and reindeer. Pastors who have been finding Spencer’s and the above cited “pornaments” in their local shopping malls are outraged at this affront to Christmas. Many of you readers appear to be “secular humanists”, so let me, a theological scholar, fill you in on something. It is well know that snowmen were present at the Nativity but melted before the gospel writers could get their names (thus they are ignored by history). Moreover, serious analysts believe that reindeer, not camels were used by the Magi in delivering gold, frankincense, and myrhh. After all do you think Santa Claus, another famous gift bearer, would have “flying camels” propel his sleigh? Fact #2- just two weekends ago a man in New Hampshire discovered that the baby Jesus had been removed from his front lawn manger scene and replaced by a beer can. This is a far cry from a simple act of vandalism as when my son’s Jack-O-Lantern was smashed on our porch by thugs during the brief period in which I lived in NH. No this baby theft is just the preparation for much worse next year. I have been told that in mid-June, a conclave will be held on a remote tropical island (filled with, at worst, animists) with representatives of Americans United, the ACLU, and People for the American Way to determine the target for next December’s thefts. It is likely to be one of the traditional shepherd figures, to be replaced by a lifesize cutout of the St. Pauli beer girl. So, scoff if you want, but some of us really do know what is going on–and we are happy to raise money about it.

  • Of course it’s all about money. The religious right has a been one of the biggest corporate powerhouses in this countries economy since the beginning. Look at how rich Farwell and Robertson have gotten. Disgusting.
    BTW, if you want to laugh about the War on Christmas, check out Jill O”Really on foxxynews.com. She’s really funny.

  • Spencer’s Gifts, the company that brought the world the Whoopee Cushion is now selling tree ornaments which are anatomically correct snowmen and reindeer. — jackyl 2828, @ 14

    Personally, I think that the new (2005) Liberty nickles, with an anatomically correct bison on the obverse are *much* worse. Afterall, I’d have to go out of my way to obtain an anatomically correct reindeer ornament, but the 5c piece can turn up in your change at any time.

  • Fox News hates the Baby Jesus……

    ON FOXNEWS.COM RIGHT NOW:

    FOX NEWS: HELPING OUT THIS HOLIDAY SEASON By E.D. Hill

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,236719,00.html

    FOX NEWS: HOLIDAY SURVIVAL STRATEGIES: TIPS FOR SUCCESS:

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,233453,00.html

    FOX NEWS: AVOIDING HOLIDAY HANGOVERS

    http://www.foxnews.com/health/drmannyhealthbeat/

    FOX NEWS: REALLY LAST MINUTE HOLIDAY GIFT IDEAS AND STOCKING STUFFERS

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,237620,00.html

    FOX NEWS: HOLIDAY SALES TO INCREASE 5%

    http://www.foxnews.com/wires/2006Sep19/0,4670,HolidaySalesForecast,00.html

    FOX NEWS: HELPING SANTA – We were able to help a good deal of people who were looking for hard to find HOLIDAY gifts

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,237218,00.html

    FOX NEWS: MIRACLE DIET PILL TO DROP THOSE DREADED HOLIDAY POUNDS!

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,233668,00.html

    FOX NEWS: GIFT TIPS: Tips to keep yourself and your belongings secure while making HOLIDAY PURCHASES

    (video, lower right)

    http://www.foxnews.com/foxlife/holiday/

    FOX NEWS: HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

    http://www.foxnews.com/foxlife/holiday/index.html

    FOX NEWS: INSURING HOLIDAY GIFTS MEANS PEACE OF MIND

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,236700,00.html

    FOX NEWS: HOLIDAY PARTIES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUN…BUT BEHAVE YOURSELF

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,233324,00.html

    FOX NEWS: PLAYBOY ‘GIRL NEXT DOOR’ KNOWS WHAT WOMEN WANT FOR THE HOLIDAYS

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,236158,00.html

    FOX NEWS: GIFTS FOR MEN – The guy’s guy is back, so invest your money in macho and make this HOLIDAY SEASON the season of the man

    (video, half way down)

    http://www.foxnews.com/foxlife/holiday/index.html

    FOX NEWS: HANDLING THE HOLIDAYS

    (video, lower right)

    http://www.foxnews.com/foxlife/tv/

    FOX NEWS: HAPPY HOLIDAY RECIPES

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,236977,00.html

    FOX NEWS: HOLIDAY TROOP SHOUT OUTS!

    http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,231761,00.html

    FOX NEWS: HOLIDAY BEAUTY

    (video, lower right)

    http://www.foxnews.com/foxlife/movie/

    FOX NEWS: HANDLING THE HOLIDAYS

    Don’t let the holidays stress you out! Expert tips and survival strategies.

    http://www.foxnews.com/fncimag/

    ..and a link on many of the Fox News webpages:

    . CLICK HERE FOR FOXNEWS.COM’S HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE

    example: http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,234912,00.html

    … Who is the ‘Secular Progressive’, Christianity-hater now? I guess the FoxNews.com team didn’t get the memo about their company’s own ‘War on Christmas’. Last year, Fox News was selling ornaments that said ‘Happy Holidays From Fox News’ on them and NewsCorp had a ‘Holiday’ Party. You’d think that they would have covered their bases this time around. Oops! 🙂

    *

  • I have a beautifully decorated tree, a nice wreath with pinecones and a red ribbon. I have lined my windows with holly and spray-on frost, and put mistletoe over the arch. I have little figures of snowmen and elves, reindeer and Santa all through the house.
    On December 25th, we exchange gifts, burn a Yule log in the fireplace, have a big dinner with beautiful red candles set in evergreen holders. And we sing “Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly” and “O Tannenbaum.”
    Jesus? Who’s he? I’m a pagan.

  • this is nonsense, and here’s why…

    Bill O’Reilly, the infamous news commentator/analyst who was the first voice in the national media to bring this issue to the forefront, forwards every dollar from his online store to charity. He’s definitely had more exposure due to the debate, but it hasn’t changed his salary or the money he personally profits from sells. So your point is irrelevant. So what if profits are being made. I can’t prove it, but I’d be willing to bet all three of those organizations are Non-Profit.

    i’m getting so tired of you uber-liberal idiots (or ultra-conservatives for that matter) who look for every opportunity to get on the bashing bandwagon with your idiot celebrities. get a freakin clue and maybe spend some time trying to do something good for the country.

  • even if an organization is “non-profit”, that doesn’t mean that someone isn’t getting rich off of the flow of money.

  • You celeb-sucker lefties will sing another tune when muhammad’s ilk put their blades to your throats.Most likley, “Jesus help me.” For after the Jews and Christians are undermined, (with your help) Ali Baba and pals, will surely place there crosshairs on you leftwingers, humanists, and gays. Its not about Christmas, its about an important part of western culture. Wake up!, you have unknowingly become the enemy within. You appeasers will be the death of us.

  • Ah, yes, the religious right out there defending Christianity…

    Back when I was forced to go to Catholic school, we were taught that good Christians shun ‘false Messiahs’ – and yet a lot of these guys are cozy with Sun Myung Moon, self-proclaimed ‘Second Coming’ who is here to finish the job that the first Messiah failed to finish. (Who bailed out Falwell when he was in such dire straits years ago?)

    I wonder whether their followers know – or care?

    These are hypocrits who are long overdue for exposure.

    Lucky for me, the Catholic church was so obviously filled with hypocrisy of this very kind. It prompted me to question first Catholicism, then Christianity, then religion in general, then the various deities – and all before I was 12.

  • Hippysmasher – you are the poster child for the fact that your brain shuts down when you’re afraid. Why don’t you crawl out from under your bed and stop acting like a hysterical pansy-ass?

    Good grief.

  • I think Hippysmasher is afraid to come out, is his real problem, and I don’t mean come out from under his bed. *snicker*

  • My grandpa used to say, “If something seems to make no sense, look to who could be profiting from it.” This ALWAYS applies.

  • And a fearless you must be Leftside. All bravado when making anonymous comments online. A bull-dike attitude does not make you the man long to be. So drop the tough-guy schtick …ANNIE.

  • quite interesting… this article doesn’t say exactly that there is no war on christmas (it is hard to prove a negative), yet derides the fact that funds have been raised to fight something they’re not sure exists.

    well, if these posts are a sample of society, ie the “normal” people, we can see that there are quite a few people opposed to the idea of “Christmas” as a western tradition. ie, the mention of solistice, the hair trigger of “merry Christmas.”

    it’s just interesting that for people who say that “all truths are equal,” why can’t the Christian truth be just as good?

  • It seems to me there’s a piece of the action for everybody!

    Anyone like to go in some bumper sticker mercs???

  • HA HA Hippysmasher is gay!

    I thought I recognized that screen name, I went over to http://www.hotforchistianboys.com and no crap he’s there!

    Tell me Hippysmasher, are you going to smash that big god fearing muslim hating christian wang of yours into a hippy on x-mas??? That would be a great present! I know I always exalt His name in the highest when I’m giving my brothers in christ their “presents”.
    The baby jesus would cry for eternity if not for big strong christianists like you and the Reverend Hottie Ted Haggard.
    I bet you like meth too.

    toodles!

    And Have a FABULOUSLY SNUG CHRISTmas!

  • jackyl2828: your riff is up, man! There is NO WAY you are serious! I write this on the TINY probability that you mean what you say. Here it is, just as plain as day: [1] the “war on christmas” [sic] is illusory, and [2] the only purpose of the likes of Falwall in declaring the existence of a “war on christmas” [sic] is antithetical to Holy Scripture, i.e., filthy lucre. In this extremely liberal community, I have never seen anybody diss a person either face to face, or a private display on a front lawn on this issue. In fact, the more spectacular of the christmas displays form the basis of a tour that people take on christmas day to see these, to gawk at them, to photograph them. I’ll say it: only an ignorant fool would contribute a penny to the likes of Falwell for a bumper sticker to protect [sic] christmas. Look at him! He has bazillions of dollars, lives very high up on the hog, and is obscenely fat as a result of it. This, THIS! is your model for Christian values? It it makes you more secure, go right ahead, divest yourself of every worldly belongning and send the entire boodle right on over to Jerry, why, buy a million of those bumper stickers, stand on the Hollywood Freeway and hand em’ out! But please, PLEASE! don’t ask me to believe you are in any way truly sincere about this stuff. BTW, happy holidays to you and yours, and may the sun rise swiftly in the sky soon hereafter!

  • Note to hippysmasher: here seem to be the points you are making about those who, one can assume, differ with your views on this [the xmas thing] or any other subject: (1) we engage in sexual contact with celebrities; (2) if we don’t agree with your views, we hold views that are anti Christian and therefore [in your logic as I can grok it] we suborn the undermining of western culture by the “Ali Babas” which, I think we can safely assume, are the Muslims. (3) Because we are simpathetic to the Ali Babas, they will, in fact, come after us first, not you, even though, apparently, your views differ from theirs more than do ours, or so we must presume. (4) Christmas, an important part of western culture, is under attack from [persons unspecified, but presumably Muslims]. (5) If we don’t agree with your views, hard to do since they are not clearly stated, then the fall of western civilization will be swift and sure. Therefore, (6) we must agree with your views [whatever they are in detail] to avert this catastrophe. When your words are parsed in this way, a sensible person can see that they can be safely ignored as the rantings of a person who is probably widely ignorant, and certainly a racist. The basic flaw in all this is: if you are the macho man with all the guns, and all the wisdom, then why, when the Invasion of the Ali Babas comes, don’t YOU just take care of it? Why will success in the effort to resist the Ali Babas depend on those of us who are wimps, probably have no assault rifles & etc? Surely, seeing the likes of me as your enemy, you wouldn’t like to see me and my ilk armed to the teeth, would you? BTW, many of those who are hippies are deeply fascist, and therefore share your views, so you ought to be careful of which hippies you hate. Be at peace, brother!

  • dantagonist: who here or anyplace else has EVER said that a “Christian truth is not as good as any other?” Nobody I know. Let me see if I can explain a point in simple language to those of you, including apparently dantagonist, who believed that “liberals” [undefined] and others are out to “destroy” christmas, or “destroy” christianity in this country.

    A “liberal” is, by definition, an individual who supports, as I do, that we are responsible to more than ourselves; we are also responsible to others around us, and to whatever God we worship. Therefore, a liberal supports wholly the first amendment of the U.S. Constitution, and other clauses in that document which strive to make sure both that no religious test will every be used as a criterion for holding elective office and that no law shall be made by Congress which impinges on the religious practice of anybody. Therefore, I, and all those I know whom you would label “liberals” enjoy most of the traditional practices of christmas as they play out in this country, and also fully support the religious practice of anybody during this season. But here is what liberals have little tolerance for. They have little patience for people and groups who use religion deliberately as a wedge issue to divide people into white hats and black hats, and for political advantage. Therefore, when O’Reilly makes this BIG issue out of something that any reasonable person can see is a nonissue, we see it as just more attempts to divide people into opposing camps, again for political advantage to certain groups. I was formerly a Catholic, but had to give up the faith because I could not accept the teachings of the church, in particular, the transubstantiation of the mass. I’ve got absolutely no problem at all with any media attempt to celebrate christmas in the traditional way, free from political influence, and free from this holier-than-thou crap that ever eminates from O’Reilly. For God’s sake, the man is a phone-sex freak! This is NOT by way of anything resembling a model for Christian behavior.

    So, dantagonist, all who are reasonable, and all who are liberal, will accord you the respect you deserve for holding views on matters of religion and christmas; but we will ever insist that you, in turn, afford us the same respect. It’s really just as simple as that. May your time be blessed.

  • smashippy – Yes, i think i will.
    Funny you suppose I’m Christian, and yes i hit the slopes now and again.

    jackyl28 – Your post is way too long, You must think highly of yourself…as for Falwell and them,,,fine by me.

    bill peppin – words, words, words, You are long winded and arrogant. You just blew your chance to make a point to people who disagree with you.

    On to the next post.

  • bill peppin

    “The basic flaw in all this is: if you are the macho man with all the guns, and all the wisdom, then why, when the Invasion of the Ali Babas comes, don’t YOU just take care of it? Why will success in the effort to resist the Ali Babas depend on those of us who are wimps, probably have no assault rifles & etc? Surely, seeing the likes of me as your enemy, you wouldn’t like to see me and my ilk armed to the teeth, would you? BTW, many of those who are hippies are deeply fascist, and therefore share your views, so you ought to be careful of which hippies you hate. Be at peace, brother! ”

    Don’t worry, we will take care of it. Success does not depend on you. Arms are useless in your hands, And i don’t care which hippies i hate. As for peace….too late.

    By the way, I am not your brother.

  • Hey, #22: Bill O’Lielly, infamous news liar, threatener of Americans, sexual harasser, and writer of pornography? Thank God HE’s the one protecting baby Jesus from me.

    Although it must suck to have a God so weak and pathetic that He needs mouthy name-calling clowns like you and Bill to defend Him. My God could kick your God’s ass any day.

    Hey, #24: Crosshairs on their blades? That’s a new one.

    And… To save Western Culture, we need to protect the Middle Eastern religion at the heart of it? (scratches head and wanders off, in search of a baby Jesus in a manger to steal and replace with a beer can).

  • hey, hippysmasher, i found some of your other usernames:

    puppysmasher, antsmasher, kittysmasher, babysmasher, houseflysmasher…

    hippies were largely peaceful and nonthreatening, surely a fearsome threat. ali baba was a poor woodcutter, a true monster. you have such a keen eye for monsters and enemies, it’s a wonder you have time to sit on your fat ass insulting other horrible monsters like us. why don’t you get your big mouth over to iraq, where you belong?

  • de> Read more about tags here.

    Mr Hippysmasher, Anger and hate just exudes from your posts, its just about oil thats all it is. Stealing it buying it controling it, please just go shoping and spend some money, isn’t that what it is really all about. Xsessive spending Xsessive emotion,Xsessive control and Xsessive hate freek. And Peace be with yooooh, SEASONS GREETINGS

  • PunkyAmerica – 1) thanks for the lesson, but can use google too. 2) I only mentioned hippies in my post as a response to #38, nice try though. 3)Funny you knew exactly my intent with the usage of ali baba. 4) as for my ass being fat, so what? 5)Insulting my username, thats just dumb.

    And one more thing… i belong in Iraq? What?… not getting your point here

  • Hey #22 Wesley,

    YOU are full on nonsense, and here’s why…

    We’re not talking about the stuff O’Reilly gives to charity off his website. He does that year round. Hell, Rosie O’Donnell, the bane of the right-wing, does that in spades. So YOUR point is irrelevant.

    We’re talking about his use of the manufactured “war on Xmas” (which he and John GIbson started) for monetary gain. For the past couple of years, O’Reilly has setting himself up to become the “Culture Warrior, Savior of Traditional Americans”. John Gibson tag teamed with him on this War on Christmas thing and wrote book in which HE made personal monetary gains.

    Now, low and behold, O’Reilly has finally released his Culture Warriror book just in time to try and influence the elections (for which his out of touch viewpoint and over-hyped Pelosi fear was soundly rejected by the voters) and get Xmas sales. The sale of his book has greatly enhanced his personal bank account not in a small part because of this mythical war on Xmas (which he directly links to “secular progressives” by way of his book).

    I’m tired of reading inane remarks by suckers like you who are pulled in by snake oil salesmen like O’Reilly. It’s about time you woke up and realized that you’re being used by the rich and influential on the right like O’Reilly in order to make themselves even more rich. Quit falling for his bull. Now THAT would be something good for the country.

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