I tend not to dwell on the Oedipal complexities of the president’s relationship with his father — Maureen Dowd seems to have the beat pretty well covered — but the NYT had a noteworthy piece today on the complex family dynamic.
There are times in the life of George Herbert Walker Bush, the 41st president of the United States and father of the 43rd, that people, perfect strangers, come up to him and say the harshest things — words intended to comfort but words that wind up only causing pain.
“I love you, sir, but your son’s way off base here,” they might say, according to Ron Kaufman, a longtime adviser to Mr. Bush, who has witnessed any number of such encounters — perhaps at a political fund-raiser, or a restaurant dinner, a chance meeting on the streets of Houston or Kennebunkport, Me. They are, he says, just one way the presidency of the son has taken a toll on the father.
“It wears on his heart,” Mr. Kaufman said, “and his soul.”
I don’t doubt it. I’m not a parent, but I suspect it has to be difficult to watch a son or daughter fail as spectacularly as George W. Bush has, and with such catastrophic consequences for the nation and the world. It has to be especially painful when the parent is himself a former president — a historical oddity — who probably wants to jump in and give his floundering son a hand.
We rarely hear about it, or see evidence of intervention, but the NYT piece notes that “the former president is not nearly so distant as the White House would have people believe.”
He is a frequent visitor to the White House. He still loves eating at the White House mess and has breakfast or coffee with Karl Rove, the president’s chief political strategist, whenever he comes, mostly to chew over political gossip. From time to time, he picks up the phone to talk policy with Joshua B. Bolten, the White House chief of staff. He called Mr. Bolten’s predecessor, Mr. Card, about every other week.
Mostly, said Mr. Card, who was transportation secretary to the elder Mr. Bush and views himself as “a bridge” between the generations, the father was simply checking on his son. But sometimes the ex-president would raise a foreign policy question, or suggest the White House reach out to those “in his circle,” like James A. Baker, the former secretary of state, or Brent Scowcroft, the former national security adviser, who has been openly critical of the war in Iraq.
“He made sure that I knew there were experts around that we should be reaching out to or listening to,” Mr. Card said, adding: “I never felt that the former president was trying to meddle in the responsibilities that the president had. But he cares deeply about his son.”
That’s actually kind of interesting. Bush 41 seems to be dropping subtle hints: “You know, I know some competent people you guys can talk to. If you want. No pressure. Here’s the number.”
As to what is said in private conversations between father and son, no one can be certain. When phone calls come in from Houston or Kennebunkport, White House aides make themselves scarce. But Mr. Card says it is clear to him that family talks were not always confined to family matters.
“It was relatively easy for me to read the sitting president’s body language after he had talked to his mother or father,” Mr. Card said. “Sometimes he’d ask me a probing question. And I’d think, Hmm, I don’t think that question came from him.”
Is Card saying intelligent inquiries were so unusual he assumed the president didn’t think of them on his own?
It’s an interesting piece. Take a look.