A different kind of political pork

March 4, 2006

Guest Post by Morbo

Here is the opening sentence from a recent Associated Press dispatch from Wise, Va.:

An investigation that began with allegations of cigarettes, alcohol and pork rinds being offered for votes led to the indictment Thursday of a small town’s mayor and 13 others on charges of election fraud and corruption.

To my friends in Wise, I can only say this: Selling your vote is bad enough, people, but selling your vote for pork rinds? Please, folks, let’s try to have a little dignity.

I’m from Appalachia. These types of stories propagate extremely unfortunate stereotypes. What do you think is going to happen when Leno gets a hold of this? Why not just drive to Hollywood and start handling snakes right in the studio?

If you must sell your vote, at least hold out for something halfway decent — perhaps Lays potato chips, and just not one of those little snack bags, either. Get a jumbo bag. After all, they say no one can eat just one.

Come on, Morbo! Pork rinds are great. And I
don’t come from Appalachia. Nothing like a bag
of them to go with your favorite beverage.

Jeeez

  • How about Bobby Labonte and Dale Earnhart baseball caps, with the flame job on the bill? and no PBR?? What y’all tryin’ to pull?
    For those of you from the South I apologize. Trust me, the only difference between rural Virginia and rural Nebraska (my proud heritage) is the accent, and even then people here TRY to sound Southern.

  • Same thing’s true even in rural California (where I spent my youth). One of my siblings and his wife and kids moved from California to Texas, and now they sound like hillbillies. Very bloody fact: the South lost the Civil War. How is it that so many Americans do their damnedest to sound so much like losers?

  • Ed,
    I think there’s a movement in the South that’s been infiltrating agents into the northern states, kinda like what the commies did during the Cold War, and try to undermine and destroy progress, church-state separation, and democracy. This then creates a weakened North unable to stand up to a re-secedeing Confederacy. It’s the only reason I can think for people in Northeast Nebraska of German/Norwegian/Czech descent talking like their from Lower Alabama.

  • Actually Cheetos are the bribe of choice among young urban computer professionals, or so I’m told.

  • I think many voters think that the relative difference between political candidates is not worth much more than a bag of pork rinds, so what the heck?

  • It’s good that elections aren’t held in March. I’d sell my vote for a box of Thin Mint’s.

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