Appalling komodo dragon mocks Christmas with virgin birth

Guest Post by Morbo

Just in time for Christmas, an 8-year-old komodo dragon at a zoo in Chester, England, is about ready to pull off a virgin birth.

The reptile, known as Flora, will probably give birth to seven little dragonettes any day now. Here’s the catch: Flora has never been exposed to a male komodo dragon and apparently knocked herself up using a process known as parthenogenesis — asexual reproduction. Parthenogenesis has been observed in other reptile species before but was unknown in komodo dragons until recently.

The Religious Right must be throwing fits. For starters, we all know the only proper way to produce offspring is through an opposite-sex union within the context of a marriage. Flora is going to be a single mom!

To make matters worse, evil scientists are speculating that Flora was able to do this through an evolutionary adaptation. It’s yet another blow to creationism. This stunt obviously cannot be the result of intelligent design. After all, why would the designer endow komodo dragons with the ability to engage in such bizarre, anti-family behavior?

And to think all of this is happening at Christmastime! What will we tell the children? Will we now have to add huge komodo dragons to our nativity scenes down at the town green?

Flora has clearly joined the war on Christmas, but for those depraved souls out there who want to send her good wishes (or gold, frankincense and myrrh), feel free to contact the Chester Zoo at Upton-by-Chester, Chester, U.K., CH2 1LH. (Seriously, the zoo has a cool website with updates.) Also, here is a neat site about komodo dragons; they’re pretty amazing animals, whether James Dobson thinks so or not.

The new word of God: Komodoism

  • Flush the Komodo! First Mary Cheney and now enters the Dragon. I guess a woman needs a man like a lizard needs a bicyle to paraphrase and old t-shirt.

    Wingnuts doen’t realize what general purpose beings we are. Love can be directed in any of a zillion wonderful and bizarre ways. Romance and sex can be active in many many forms. Even our speech, when we’re babies, is ready for whatever language we’re born too. And they want some authoritarian being to tell us black and white. Ridiculous.

  • Question: After all, why would the designer endow komodo dragons with the ability to engage in such bizarre, anti-family behavior?

    Answers:

    1. To get up the collective nose of the “pro-family” creeps who keep giving Him a bad name.
    2. He’s given up on humans and wants the dragons to take over.
    3. Since Fundies don’t appreciate and generally ignore everything the first Jesus said and did, God’s trying something with fangs. See how you like THAT holy vengance, suckers!

    Il est nee le divine enfant…

  • Well done, CB!

    Somewhere around here (usually in late night talk shows) is the Scientifically Verifiable Truth that men are being phased out by evolution.

    Time to contact Netflix and re-view “The Freshman.”

  • The Nature paper demonstrates that, whilst the fertile eggs are not identical clones of Flora, […]
    The genetics of parthenogenesis in lizards means that all her hatchlings would have to be male. These would grow up to mate with their own mother and therefore, within one generation, there would potentially be a population able to reproduce normally on the new island,” added Kevin. — from the Chester Zoo’s website

    Definitely not identical clones, if they’re gonna be male. And, the poor things, apparently aren’t able to pull the trick their mother did, nor is their mother expected to keep on repeating the trick and all are forced into incest to continue the propagation. Weird; one’d have thought all hatchilings would be female and able to just keep on going, without the males…

  • Godless reptiles! Of course this only proves the superiority of mammals since the dinosaurs were smitten by god when he saw that they were all gay and were reproducing asexually. I guess then there is no evolution, god wipes species off the planet when he finds out they are homosexual and replaces them with other species that he hopes will respect the union of a man and a woman. (It’s kind of fun to thing like a right winger!)

    Does anyone else notice the irony in an asexually repoducing lizard named flora, and not fauna?

  • Let’s not forget that male seahorses have babies. Oh, the horror! What was God thinking the day he created THEM?

  • Parthenogenesis should be familar; remember it was the scietific rationale behind the movie Jurassic Park.

  • I was there! I swear I was there!!! Didn’t know what I was doing in that cage …but damn she was goood!!! Thought it was all over when she chewed off me …. well you get the point. From this day on I’m swearing off reptiles and cages!!!

  • “Let’s not forget that male seahorses have babies.” – Speed

    Male seahorse “carry” babies. The females make the eggs.

    “Parthenogenesis should be familar; remember it was the scietific rationale behind the movie Jurassic Park.” – Ken Crawford

    As I remember it the amphibian genetic material used as the framwork for the dinosaur genes gave the clones the ability to change sex to male and impregnate some of the females. Not the same thing at all.

    But I have to congratulate Flora. If as CB supposes the Theocratic Reactionaries are throwing hissy fits, the good Reptile has given us all here a great Christmas present.

  • Ohmigod!! Doesn’t the Bible portray evil in the Book of Revelation as a dragon? Yeah! In that part where the whore of Babylon screws the dragon and spawns Satan’s Army!!! Or something like that…Whatever, doesn’t this just prove that every holy word of the Bible is absolutely true? Surely this reprehensible reptile’s disgusting perversion of God’s plan is an irrefutable sign of End Times!

    Ohmigodd!!

  • Leapin’ Lizards! Mary Cheney is not only a lesbian; she is about to become an unwed mother! I know Republicans have an unending faith in the individual–including the ability to be impregnated with a turkey baster.

  • Comments are closed.