Aussie hawk argues: ‘The battle is actually over; Iraq has been won’

Apparently, you reality-huggers have been so focused on facts and veracity that you missed the big news: we won the war in Iraq. In fact, the whole conflict is over.

We know this, of course, because Andrew Bolt, a conservative columnist in Australia, says so. In a piece today, Bolt proclaims, “The battle is actually over. Iraq has been won.”

What measures of success do critics of Iraq’s liberation now demand? Violence is falling fast. Al Qaida has been crippled. The Shiites, Kurds and Marsh Arabs no longer face genocide. What’s more, the country has stayed unified. The majority now rules. Despite that, minority Sunni leaders are co-operating in government with Shiite ones. There is no civil war. The Kurds have not broken away. Iran has not turned Iraq into its puppet.

And the country’s institutions are getting stronger. The Iraqi army is now at full strength, at least in numbers. The country has a vigorous media. A democratic constitution has been adopted and backed by a popular vote. Election after election has Iraqis turning up in their millions.

Add it all up. Iraq not only remains a democracy, but shows no sign of collapse.

I repeat: the battle for a free Iraq has been won.

It has? Why, that’s great! Indeed, the rest of Bolt’s breathtakingly-dumb column goes on to explain that the now-successful war is justified because the old Iraq was a “threat,” while the new Iraq is poised to “survive as a democracy.” We might hear about some lingering troubles in Iraq, but don’t worry, those are “just criminals” who are “settling scores.”

You know, if it makes the right feel all happy inside, I will gladly embrace this nonsense in exchange for a withdrawal policy.

Looking around far-right blogs this morning, many have heralded Bolt’s child-like harangue as proof that we really have won in Iraq.

Sure, it’s delusion on a grand scale, but I’m happy to play along. If the right wants to believe that Iraq has been transformed into a stable, flourishing democracy, and the sectarian conflicts are a thing of the past, far be it for me to criticize movement-wide denial.

Just so long as the supporters of Bush’s policy are willing to follow through on the fantasy. Remember the old Aiken adage: “Declare victory and go home”? The right seems to be on board with the first part; I’m ready to see them accept the second.

After reading Bolt’s column, I had the exact same reaction as Steve M.

[L]et’s make a deal, Iraq War fans.

I will stand with you in Times Square at high noon and declare to the world that I was wrong and you were right and the glorious Iraq War was not only vitally necessary but has now proved to be an unqualified success.

You, in turn, immediately have to start the process of bringing the damn troops home and not stop until they’re all home.

Deal?

Ideally, the right’s ability to get every aspect of Iraq policy wrong for five years should undermine the Republican Party for a generation, and destroy the right’s credibility on matters of national security for the foreseeable future.

But I’d gladly give this up in exchange for a sane policy. If that’s what the right’s ego requires, so be it.

I totally agree. Yay!!! The Iraq War is over!!! We’ve won! Chalk up another glorious victory for the U.S. of A. Let’s start the victory parades. We’ll have all of the troops come home and roll down every town’s main street. Of course, that will mean actually BRINGING THEM HOME!!

  • Effective immediately, I will begin telling every high school student who is contemplating enlistment to refrain from doing so. The war is over, and there is no longer any need for them to join up as voluntary IED fodder.

    Thank you, Mr. Bolt—you just made my goal a whole lot easier to reach!

  • Fingers in the ears while screaming nyah nyah doesn’t change the fact that Iraq is a humongous clusterfuck for everyone else but the nutters.

    Dedicated to Andy Dolt (sung to Queen’s We are the Champions)
    I’ve sat at my desk –
    Time after time –
    I’ve written my sentence
    And told many lies –
    And those mistakes
    I’ve made none
    I’ve had my share of reality kicked in my face –
    But I’ve come through

    We are the champions – my friends
    And we’ll keep on denying- till the end –
    We are the champions –
    We are the champions
    No time for realists
    ‘Cause we are the champions – of the (fantasy) world –

    I’ve taken my bows
    And my little pills –
    You sent me ridicule and snark and everything that goes with it-
    I thank you all –

    But it’s been no walks of cakes
    No flowers thrown –
    I consider it a challenge against the whole human race –
    And I ain’t gonna lose –

    We are the champions – my friends
    And we’ll keep on denying- till the end –
    We are the champions –
    We are the champions
    No time for realists
    ‘Cause we are the champions – of the (fantasy) world –

  • Damn! So we were just off by a word. “Declare Victory and Run” instead of “Cut and Run”. Silly liberals, can’t do anything right. Good thing we have the neocons to tell show us the real world.

  • Andrew Bolt– you’ve got to love the name. It’s like Max Power. His work is providing the model of how masculine Aussies are supposed to think. He’s got to have the right stage-name and everything.

  • Hurray! The war is over, no more bloodshed! Our troops and all the hired mercenaries can come home tomorrow! Democracy rules in Iraq!

    But lest we forget: WAR is PEACE.

  • This is why we have to attack Iran now. The Global War On a Psychological State is a generational struggle and it is bigger than just petty “nation-states” like Iraq. It’s going to require an entire new paradigm, of not seeing or even recognizing borders and boundaries around the globe to win this war.

    A New World Order is called for, one which will ensure the security of every citizen of the world and take the fight to the terrorists who wish to do us harm and “bring them to justice.” The struggle is not just in Iraq or Afghanistan, it starts right here in America with the fight against Homegrown Terrorism.

    That’s right. It’s used to be the only shit you could get your hands on to catch a buzz, but now it’s a nefarious tactic. And the House just passed, rather unceremoniously, H.R. 1955 to protect us from it.

    You must be careful, however. We would not want our Reich Wing Authoritarian friends to be subjected to the provision in the bill that is meant to deter “ideologically based violence”

    The term `ideologically based violence’ means the use, planned use, or threatened use of force or violence by a group or individual to promote the group or individual’s political, religious, or social beliefs.

    We all know that our friends with a particularly authoritarian bent tend to make violent threats from time to time out of a passion for their ideology of “spreading freedom the American way” –but rarely do they really mean it. We would not want the likes of Fraulein Coulter or Michelle Malcontent or B.O., Glen “I’m Loser Baby” Beck or Flush Rimjaughb to face the consequences of their bigotry and calls for violence.

    We must win the Global War On a Psychological State, this struggle of good against evil. We have to stay the course because Islam-O-Fascists want take over the world with boxcutters.

  • It’s tragic that Andrew Bolt is being kept from his true place in the sun by the Australian navy’s woeful lack of an aircraft carrier from which to hang a “Mission Accomplished” banner.

  • … And with the victory dividend we’ll receive from not having to send billions of dollars a week over to Iraq, we’ll be able to fully fund S-CHIP now! What a glorious day — thanks Andrew!

  • Joshua wrote: “Since it’s now won, why not leave now?”

    I suspect you could answer that question with a three-letter word that begins with “O” and ends with “L”, and doesn’t refer to a big eyed predatory bird.

  • ***…all the hired mercenaries can come home…***

    Wait a minute…lemme think this through. You mean to tell me that if the war is over, we have to bring Condi’s Hessians back onto US soil? Couldn’t we just sort of “forget them” for a while?

    Like, ummm…maybe…FOREVER?!

  • The only way conservatives will leave is if they can be bamboozled into believing we’ve won, so sure, what the hell. It’s about time we use their stubborn denial of reality to our advantage.


  • Former Dan: You sent me ridicule and snark and everything that goes with it-
    I thank you all –

    Too much! 🙂


  • JKap: We must win the Global War On a Psychological State…

    Okay, JKap. You win. I’ve personally submitted GWOPS to Acronym Finder. Check back later to see if they accepted it.

  • Careful what you wish, everyone. After they’ve brought the troops hope, regrouped, awarded each other lots of patriotic sounding medals, and sicked Blackwater on a few activists, it will be time to attack Iran for sure.

  • xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    mullah cimoc say impossible for amriki know any true of iraq war becasue usa media impose total war news blockade this time.

    two important factor usa media hiding from usa people:

    1. de facto cease fire between usa army and anbar insurgent fighter. ameriki say: we not attack you if you not attack us. this for political cover for the bush to say not the killing so much but in true just the part surrender and ameriki media so lying.

    2. chairman mao tse tung book of him guerilla warfare technical say not to fight invader when him strong and reinforce. this time for swim in sea of him people and the hiding and the planning and the prepare.

    for him true info. stop1984now@yahoo.com

    also, usa woman so slut now take the LBT (low back tattoo) and disgrace for ameriki man. also him daughter slut and wife taking the lesbian. so ashame.

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