Bachmann touts, retracts ‘secret plan’ for Iraq

Freshman Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.), one of the more embarrassing members of Congress, became a bit of a punchline a month ago when, after the State of the Union, she put her hand on the president’s shoulder as he was exiting the chamber — but wouldn’t let go. This came after bizarre ideas from Bachmann about Iraq and 9/11, and removing science from public school science classes.

Yesterday, however, Bachmann solidified her reputation as a laughing stock. Apparently, Bachmann claimed to know about a secret plan to partition Iraq, in which Iran will control half of the country and set it up as a “terrorist safe haven zone.” Bachmann was quite matter-of-fact about the whole thing.

“Iran is the trouble maker, trying to tip over apple carts all over Baghdad right now because they want America to pull out. And do you know why? It’s because they’ve already decided that they’re going to partition Iraq.

“And half of Iraq, the western, northern portion of Iraq, is going to be called…. the Iraq State of Islam, something like that. And I’m sorry, I don’t have the official name, but it’s meant to be the training ground for the terrorists. There’s already an agreement made.

“They are going to get half of Iraq and that is going to be a terrorist safe haven zone where they can go ahead and bring about more terrorist attacks in the Middle East region and then to come against the United States because we are their avowed enemy.”

How did Bachmann learn of the secret plan that’s apparently already been decided upon? She didn’t say.

Naturally, the comments made the rounds fairly quickly yesterday afternoon, with the political world wondering what on earth this woman was talking about.

By late yesterday, Bachmann announced she would not speak to any reporters about her comments, but issued a statement in which she said she’s “sorry if my words have been misconstrued.”

Yes, it’s listeners’ fault. When Bachmann said, “There’s already an agreement made,” foolish observers took that to mean that she believes that an agreement has already been made. How embarrassing for us.

On Feb. 9, Bachmann said: “There’s already an agreement made” by Iran and some other unspecified party to create an Iranian-controlled zone in which terrorism would flourish.

The new statement replaces that with: “It is difficult to ascertain Iran’s intentions towards Iraq.”

Bachmann told Schumacher with certainty that Iran planned to establish in Iraq “a terrorist safe haven zone where they can go ahead and bring about more terrorist attacks in the Middle East region and then to come against the United States.”

In the new statement, she expresses a concern that “we may very well see a de facto partition in which the western Anbar Province continues to house and develop terrorists.”

As my friend D.B. said via email, “As this rate, my Minnesota neighbors wont be able to taunt me about Steve King much longer!”

Are we sure Bachmann isn’t Rick Santorum in drag?

  • Are we sure Bachmann isn’t Rick Santorum in drag?

    Comment by petorado — 2/24/2007 @ 10:51 am

    She is Katherine Harris’ evil twin sister.

  • As my friend D.B. said via email, “As this rate, my Minnesota neighbors wont be able to taunt me about Steve King much longer!”

    Look, blame the northern suburbs. Here in Minneapolis, I’m represented by a real life Muslim. I saved my voting record so that I will be spared when they overrun the country.

  • Maybe she hired all the old Curt Weldon staffers? That guy always seemed to know the super-inside dope, by virtue either of his super-secret spy network or the Psychic Friends Network.

  • As a former Iowan living right next door to Rep. Ellison’s district and adjacent to Bachmannistan, I think I’d rather have Bachmann than King as a rep (thank god my actual rep is Betty McCollum).

    I don’t know if we can rid ourselves of Bachmann since her primary online opposition is given to horrendous photoshopped hatchet jobs that, I think, may have motivated Bachmann’s base.

    It’s easy to ridicule Bachmann, but that lets her supporters dig in their heels and stop listening. She should be taken seriously, and every news organization in the state should be pressing her for her source on this crap. I’m guessing she got it from talking to some televangelist, but it could just as easily have been Dick Cheney or one of his surrogates.

  • Further proof that long term side effects of drinking of the GOP Kool-Aid include becoming bat shit crazy and gibbering like you’ve been gobbling acid tabs.

    Seriously. If I heard a person talking like this one the train I would switch cars. The only purpose Bachman Overdrive might serve is entertainment value when she throws herself on top of BushBrat shrieking “Ride me like an f-16 you hot stud!” Otherwise, make lock her up in the Krazee Kat Harris Home for Whacky ReThuglican Women.

    Slight nit-pick. Saying “you misunderstood me” is not a retraction, just as saying “Sorry you misunderstood me,” is not an apology. I know it is about all you can expect from the ReThugs aside from an outright lie, but she didn’t retract, she re-spun.

  • Issuing a statement written by a hired spinmeister sure is a lot safer than letting the idiot officeholder open her fat stupid mouth again, isn’t it?

    It’s not her fault though. She was probably just repeating the pillowtalk she heard while worshipping someone’s Mighty Falafel of Doom somewhere. I wish I’d known her in high school. She would have been a real fun date. 😉

  • […] “Sorry you misunderstood me,” is not an apology. — TAIO, @8

    Common, however, to all Repubs in office (vide Macaca Allen ey al).

    And speaking of “non-apologies”… Poland came up with one even better. Apparently, Lech Walesa publicly called the current president (of Poland) a moron. A true observation ,though also a case of a pot calling the kettle black. Anyway… Ensued a big flap all around.So, yesterday, he apologised. To the Polish people, who have elected him and might feel offended (idiocy by association). But not to the president.

    I’m glad that my old country is beginning to regain some sense of humour.

  • “Mean Jean” (Schmidt). “Batty” Bachmann. “Krazy Katherine” (Harris).

    They’re making it way too easy.

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