Bob Ney’s last chance to climb aboard the gravy train

August 12, 2006

Guest Post by Morbo

What does it take to get an unethical scumbag Republican to agree to leave Congress? Apparently you have to hit him where it hurts: the wallet.

Consider Bob Ney. Consider this paragraph from The Washington Post:

House Majority Leader John A. Boehner (R-Ohio) met with Ney last week to urge him to step aside, reminding him that with a son in college and a daughter nearing college age, he will need money, according to several congressional Republican aides. If he lost his House seat for the party, Boehner is said to have cautioned, Ney could not expect a lucrative career on K Street to pay those tuition bills, along with the hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees piling up.

I read this in the morning over my bowl of Frosted Mini-Wheats. I was still kind of sleepy and later in the day wasn’t sure that I hadn’t dreamed it. So when I got home that evening, I picked the paper up again. It was still in there!

So, an argument like this was no good for the GOP: “Bob, you’re a total sleaze ball. You’re into this Abramoff thing up to your eyeballs. You have behaved with great dishonor, and your actions reflect poorly on our party and the entire House of Representatives. You will do the right thing and announce your retirement. Please understand that I’m not asking you to do this. I am telling you. There is no other option.”

No, I suppose it never occurred to Boehner to even try to make that argument. Instead, he went with the sure winner: “Dude, you’re going to miss your chance to ride the K Street gravy train!”

And, to make the entire affair even more disgusting, Republican aides — albeit anonymously — told this to a major American newspaper with the same nonchalance that one might remark that it’s awfully hot outside today. It is offered as a plausible excuse for Ney to resign with some kind of honor. Like he’s doing the right thing. Like he’s looking out for his wife and kids.

The man is a disgrace. If he really wanted to protect his wife and kids, he wouldn’t have done the things he is accused of doing.

What are those things? As The Post reported:

Court documents say Ney helped secure government contracts, pressed the gambling interests of Indian tribes and helped stave off minimum-wage legislation for a garment maker in the Northern Mariana Islands, all at Abramoff’s behest. Ney made floor speeches and inserted helpful statements in the Congressional Record.

In exchange, Abramoff and his associates lavished Ney with a golf vacation to Scotland, a trip to the Fiesta Bowl in Arizona, restaurant meals and entertainment, including tickets to a U2 concert.

The Post then helpfully pointed out: “Ney has not been charged with any crime.” To this I would add the word “yet.”

Yep, this guy is such a loser he sold his integrity for U2 tickets. Just one word for you, Bob: Ticketmaster.

Have these guys no shame? Oh, don’t bother to answer.

Here’s an idea for when the Dems take back the Hill. Right at the beginning of the term, introduce legislation that bars former members of Congress who’ve been implicated in these sleaze-ball practices from setting foot in the building. Bar them from the office buildings as well. Deny them access to any government agency whatsoever—and then let’s see how well they do on K Street.

Hmmm…reducing the surplus population on K Street. It has a rather Dickens-ish ring to it—eh?

  • I share your contempt for this “ethic”, Morbo. Those Republicans are all about incentives. They think positive. No Ney-sayers in their ranks. It’s about family values and the corrupt cash it takes to keep those family valuables.

    Steve’s right. There’s definitely an over-population problem with sleazeballs in congress. How in the dickens did it come to this?

    Instead of corraling protestors into areas, they should cordon off lobbbyists. Let lobbyists set up booths in the parks but keep them out of the halls of congress. And don’t allow any lobbyist to carry more than $10 in cash at any time.

  • “There’s definitely an over-population problem with sleazeballs in congress. How in the dickens did it come to this?”

    I do volunteer work for the local Professional Eng association so I interact some with the pols in their larval stage (municipal.)

    The successful ones are salesman and fundraisers. They make a name for themselves at the local level and court folks. The more hands they shake and babies they kiss help, but its the style. Eventually, the successful ones are the ones who can out raise the others and they move up. They all want to change the world, but it’s like celebrity, they get caught up in really fucked up world where donors and sponsors are more important than reality. On top of that, they’re insulated by a cotire of hangers on. The smart ones (and there are a few) still try to meet without the minders and get the pulse of the electorate.

    Unfortunately, I’ve also worked with salesman and as general rule, they’re pretty sleazy. There are some decent ones, but not many. I’ve found that if you’re doing a lot of fast talking about the product then what you’re selling ain’t worth shit. Too bad many folks still can’t figure that one out.

    Just from my own experience and observation, others may differ.

  • Morbo writes: “And, to make the entire affair even more disgusting, Republican aides — albeit anonymously — told this to a major American newspaper with the same nonchalance that one might remark that it’s awfully hot outside today. ”

    The reason this happens is that Republicans and Wall Streeters and the like feel that they are ENTITLED to the kickbacks and the ill-gotten gains obtained through their positions. They don’t see it as anything wrong because, as Darth Cheney put it so succinctly after the Bush sElection–“It’s our due.”

  • Frak’s on the right track, but I’d say the real reason (and I’m far from the first to point this out) is that since the right-wingers hate government, they feel no compunction about abusing it.

  • Republicans are not only willing to be sleazy — they revel in it. And that’s why they can get Ney to retire, but the Democrats can’t get Lieberman to.

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