Brownie’s got a heckuva new job!

Guest Post by Morbo

To mark the second anniversary of Hurricane Katrina, The Washington Post ran a “where-are-they-now” story about some of the major players. Featured prominently was Michael D. Brown, the notorious former head of the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA).

If there were any justice in the world, Brown would have fled the United States in shame and gone into hiding in the remote interior of Greenland or at least been forced to go back to the world of professional horse trade association management.

But this is America, so Brown – who continues to maintain that he did nothing wrong – has managed to reinvent himself a disaster management consultant and motivational speaker.

When I first read this, I could only think, “How can this possibly be true? What company in its right mind would hire Brown to advise them on disaster management? What firm would ask him to speak to its employees?”

What’s worse, the story says Brown has been hired to speak to students! Innocent young people in our public schools are being subjected to him.

But the more I thought about it, the more sense it made.

Imagine you run a big company or government agency and are concerned about disaster management. You invite Brown in, and instruct all of your employees to listen carefully and take voluminous notes. Once he’s gone, you tell them, “OK, everyone, listen up. If a disaster hits, just do the exact opposite of what that guy said, and we should be fine.”

The approach could work in schools as well. After Brown has departed, the principal could say, “Remember, kids, that man ran FEMA – and he’s a complete moron. Imagine how much more each one of you can accomplish if you actually study hard, get good grades and always strive to do your best!” (On second thought, that doesn’t work so well. One of them might decide to slack off anyway, fail miserably, achieve nothing of note, and end up as president.)

It’s a heckuva job, but I suppose someone has to do it.

When Brownie’s disaster-management clients need legal representation, I expect them to seek out a well-qualified attorney like Alberto Gonzales.

Seriously, who on earth would hire these guys for anything more difficult than emptying the trash cans?

  • I would really have liked to see him convicted of negligent homicide and sentenced to do community service in New Orleans for several years. That would have been fitting.

  • Hows about if Brownie speaks to these companies and stresses this: I am responsible for this department, but it is awfully hard to be successful when you have NO experience for what you are responsible for, and most importantly, those above you on the food chain DON’T GIVE A RATS ASS about what is happening.

    Brownie was a political flunkie, but it his enablers above that are the real criminals!!

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