Choking off access for every sacred sperm

Guest Post by Morbo

A woman identified only as “Dana L.” wrote an interesting Washington Post opinion piece recently about her inability to secure “[tag]Plan B[/tag]” contraceptive pills and the unfortunate consequences that spawned.

This woman, 42, became pregnant after unprotected intercourse with her husband. She admits this wasn’t the smartest thing to do, since neither one of them wanted another child, but the ending to her story is sad: unable to secure the pills after her doctor refused to prescribe them, she underwent an abortion.

Dana L. not only shared her story with Post readers, she appeared on a live chat on the newspaper’s Web site, where she was attacked by several opponents of legal [tag]abortion[/tag]. Even some people who called themselves “pro-choice” labeled her irresponsible.

Dana L.’s critics missed the point. Yes, she and her husband did a foolish thing — but people make mistakes. Dana L. sought to rectify that error by getting “morning after” pills and thus negating the need for an abortion. She could not do so, thanks to meddling by religious fanatics. Ironically, the very same religious fanatics who so hate legal abortion left her with only one option: abortion.

All of this got me thinking about the future of reproductive choice in America. It does not look rosy. The days of legal abortion are probably numbered, especially if President George W. Bush has the opportunity to name another Supreme Court appointment. At the same time, the religious right is stepping up its opposition to artificial forms of birth control and meddling in our sex lives in unprecedented ways.

What are we to do? I believe the answer in part lies in men stepping up to the plate and taking more control over birth control.

You may have noticed that the New Puritanism focuses almost exclusively on procedures and medical devices used by women. Abortion rights are curbed. Plan B is made unavailable. Pharmacists are given a right not to fill prescriptions for [tag]birth-control[/tag] pills. IUDs are labeled “abortifacients.”

Men do have a handful of options when it comes to birth control: self-discipline (please); condoms (highly effective if used properly) and the granddaddy of them all, [tag]vasectomy[/tag].

Consider the final option and how it is treated by society. To the religious right, every sperm is sacred — yet I can’t recall the last time I heard of a plan to restrict access to or deny vasectomies to men. The recent (and frightening) New York Times Magazine article on the growing religious right opposition to artificial birth control did not mention any anti-vasectomy campaigns. No lawmaker presses for an “informed consent” bill or sponsors legislation requiring men to watch biased videos about the dangers of vasectomies. There are no state-mandated waiting periods to get one.

If anything, the procedure is encouraged. Insurance companies don’t cover abortion, and some won’t pay for birth control pills. They usually cover vasectomies fully. I’ve yet to hear of a doctor refusing to perform one on the grounds of conscience. After all, doctors get big checks from insurance companies every time they perform the operation.

Obviously a vasectomy is not the right solution for every man. If you’re in your 20s and sexually active and don’t want kids now but do later, stick to condoms. But if your child-rearing years are done (or you’re sure you never want kids), consider going under the knife. It’s time for men to stop thinking of birth control as a woman’s responsibility. Men have the power to undergo the ultimate form of birth control — one that is out of reach of religious zealots. They should use it.

In this day and age, getting a vasectomy is more than just a sensible health decision. It’s almost a revolutionary act.

No one commenting here. I think it may be too painful to think about.

  • Amen, brother!

    I didn’t want to have kids. I got cornered into it.

    As wonderful as she is, the sad truth is that my daughter is unfortunately the product of my own stupidity and naivete (gentlemen: NEVER trust a 35-year-old woman who hasn’t yet had a child, to “take care” of birth control– her agenda is *not* the same as yours, no matter what she says, and birth control is emphatically *your* job).

    But I rectified this as soon as I could. I ran screaming to the urologist a few years later, the moment my wife started making those “I miss having a baby around” hints. I ran up to the doctor like Rocky Balboa, yelling, “CUT ME! CUT ME!”.

    Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. It was my turn to take charge of my own reproductive future. It was the most empowering thing I’ve ever done. I highly, highly recommend it. Get the vasectomy. No more night sweats. No more fumbling around for condoms. No more “Catholic Roulette”. No more wondering if your wife or girlfriend is going to “forget” to take the pill. And I agree: you want to get laid, *you* deal with the birth control. Sheesh.

    Side note, gentlemen: I’ve been told (appreciatively) that semen tastes *much* better post-vasectomy. If your partner dislikes giving blowjobs– or especially if she does– do her the right thing and get the cut. Oddly, it doesn’t count for as many points as doing the dishes, making the bed, cooking dinner, or taking out the trash (hey, it’s your house too, at least on paper), but it definitely helps.

    Finally, if you complain that “it’ll hurt”, don’t be such a wimp– and don’t dare complain to your wife, especially if she’s given birth. A vasectomy is no worse than getting stitches after an accident or fight, for example. Heals in a week. If you’ve witnessed childbirth, you realise you have no right to complain about the “pain” of a vasectomy. Every woman who gives birth– especially natural childbirth– should get a medal. We men have no fucking idea what pain is.

  • Despite the scare stories that seem to get trotted out when vasectomy is discussed, it’s generally a minor procedure and heals quite quickly. I had mine on my birthday, less than a month after the birth of my second child, and highly recommend it. I had a group of about 25 guys I worked with and every one but the young ones planning to have kids have had vasectomies, and all quite glad about it.

    There are still uninformed guys who think it emasculates them (oops, I guess I shouldn’t use big words for these guys), can make them impotent, or whatever. Strictly ignorance. The only difference you’ll notice is YOU CAN’T GET SOMEONE PREGNANT. Which can do wonders for your sex life. Semen volume is the same, sensation is the same, you just don’t have the little critters swimmin’ in there anymore. Just do it!

  • This reminds me of the scenes in the hospital this past season when Tony Soprano got shot and those two Christian right droolers visited him and he was kidding with them about getting the male potency pills and whether that was a good thing, and how the guy was going on that the Christian church would never be opposed to such things because it was necessary to use anything available for a man to exercise his power.

    I’ve been getting a first-hand education into the power of the patriarchy this week, with SWMBO’s elderly mother coming for a visit. She was raised in pre-war Lithuania, a place so conservative that a woman had to get the written permission of her father or husband to work outside the home. SWMBO can tell her mother any number of important and valuable things she should do, and be ignored. If I tell her the same thing, she “jumps to” with vigor. Right now we’re using that because the things I am telling her to do are important medically, but it is really sad to watch this otherwise-intelligent woman act like this. And this is the position the Christers think all women should occupy. I could tell her to jump out a window, and I think she would at least try!

  • Every woman who gives birth– especially natural childbirth– should get a medal. We men have no fucking idea what pain is.

    Word.

  • A couple of years ago a girlfriend told me she was pregnant with my baby. I forgot to mention the fact that I had been cut about 10 years ago. She opted for an abortion and I never told her I knew it wasn’t mine.

    The point is that if I hadn’t had the operation, I would have had to either call her a liar, and get paternity tests, or believe her and… well who knows, but she might still be getting 17% of my gross wage.

    I will say that CB says there is no campaign, well I had mine done at the clinic that my insurance covered. It was a related to a Catholic hospital and I had to sign a ton of waivers and go to a class for 2 hours. The made me feel like I was really making a huge mistake. So it’s not as bad as the abortion hoops, but it was no picnic either.

    FYI. They do it in a regular exam room. Takes about 20 mins and the only pain I ever felt was the occasional prick that you get from any stiched wound. I would take that discomfort over a cavity filling any day of the week.

  • I have three daughters and my wife has been begging for a fourth child. She is a stay at home mom who will do anything to get pregnant again. I know all about Catholic Roullete. My wife has stalled on all forms of birth control with the exception of breast feeding with our last girl.

    6 months ago she did get pregnant. A mistake on my part. I was supportive of the pregnancy but was releived when she had a miscarriage. Being releived truly told me that I did not want a fourth child (I’m 37 years old with a 8, 6 and 3 year old).

    We could not agree on a fourth so I went ahead with a vasectomy. She had 10 days notice untill the procedure and I delayed it another 2 weeks for her to absorb the idea.

    Currently sitting in the basement healing from the procedure. My wife hates me and can’t stand to be near me. I been told to go to a hotel to heal over the weekend She tells me repeatedly we are getting a divorce and plans to tell anyone how badly I behave with the goal of embarassing me.

    My wife is also aware that I’ve been battling depression over the past 3 years.

    What fun.

    JB

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