Conservative San Diego mayor reverses course, endorses gay marriage

September 20, 2007

San Diego’s Republican mayor, Jerry Sanders, got elected after promising voters in 2005 that he would oppose same-sex marriage. Sanders, the city’s former police chief, said he would use his veto power if the San Diego City Council took steps to go beyond civil unions.

So, when council members voted 5 to 3 recently on a resolution endorsing gay marriage, most expected the mayor to reject the measure. But then a funny thing happened — Sanders’ daughter told him she’s gay. Suddenly, the mayor has a far more progressive take on the subject.

A tearful Mayor Jerry Sanders made a dramatic shift yesterday, explaining that he can no longer oppose same-sex marriages because he does not want to deny justice to people like his daughter, who is a lesbian.

Joined at a late afternoon news conference by his wife, Rana Sampson, the San Diego mayor announced he will back a City Council decision to support same-sex marriage before the state Supreme Court, where California’s ban on it awaits review.

“I decided to lead with my heart, which is probably obvious at the moment,” said Sanders, moments before he revealed his daughter’s sexual orientation.

I think there’s a pattern here for conservatives and their social attitudes. They don’t mind restrictions on free speech, until they have something provocative to say. They want to restrict reproductive rights, until someone close to them has an unwanted pregnancy. They want to break down the church-state wall, until they feel like their faith is in the minority. They want to treat embryos as people, until they suffer from an ailment that could benefit from stem-cell research.

And they balk at the idea of equal rights for gay people, until it’s their daughter who is looking for equality.

The key to social change in this country seems fairly straightforward: wait for conservatives to have more life experience.

Thats why we need to get conervative bloggers out of their mothers’ basements and away from the sheep barns. If they’d go meet some actual people (no, inflatable people don’t count and neither does that 49 yr old man in the threadbare t-shirt on a computer in Idaho who has you convinced he’s a hot barely-legal babe) they’d get a little more expansive view of things. Maybe we could throw a social for them as our contribution to society?

  • And let’s not forget how many of their kids are on the front lines in Iraq — NOT. I’m sure if, by some bizareness, a draft was enacted which could result in their sons and daughters being deployed, the Republican war supporters would suddenly cry out that the time to end the war is now!

    I applaud his change of heart — to an extent. It’s a wonderful thing he’s done, but unfortuantely it’s tainted by his hypocricy.

  • Just think of the hate mail this dude is going to get. But his reasoning is valid; all American citizens should have the same rights and responsibilities. It’s refreshing to see any politician evolve and repudiate positions that are clearly wrong. No second class citizenship should be allowed to exist in this nation.

  • Which makes Cheney’s position on gay marriage and equal rights for gays all the more untenable. I have always wondered how the 29%-ers justify that gaping moral divide within their holier-than-thou minds.

  • And they balk at the idea of equal rights for gay people, until it’s their daughter who is looking for equality.

    And they frown on sex in public restrooms until…

    Oh, and cheating and divorce, also things that are OKIYAR.

  • They don’t mind restrictions on free speech, until they have something provocative to say. They want to restrict reproductive rights, until someone close to them has an unwanted pregnancy. They want to break down the church-state wall, until they feel like their faith is in the minority. They want to treat embryos as people, until they suffer from an ailment that could benefit from stem-cell research.

    And they balk at the idea of equal rights for gay people, until it’s their daughter who is looking for equality.

    Here’s my favorite Republican flipflop: They demand retarded drug laws until it’s their kid who needs medical marijuana. Then they just break the law, knowing that they won’t get in any real trouble. At least some of them speak out, but they never show any empathy until it hits them personally.

    while Nofziger helped bring us the “Just Say No” Reagan administration war on drugs, family tragedy brought him around on at least one drug policy issue: medical marijuana. When cancer struck and ultimately killed his daughter, Nofziger spoke out in support of allowing patients to use marijuana.

    http://stopthedrugwar.org/chronicle-old/430/nofziger.shtml

  • Not all those conservative fire-breathers actually get on the road to Damascus and recant when something knocks directly on their door. At least not in public. This case might be less about a pattern and more about personality: Sanders is a better father/human being than Cheney and/or less prepared to brazen out inconsistencies in his public, vs his private, position on the subject.

  • “And they balk at the idea of equal rights for gay people, until it’s their daughter who is looking for equality”

    Bit of a cheap shot here, for my money. As I read the story, he’s know for years that his daughter was gay, and was previously on record as supporting civil unions, but had pledged to veto gay marriage. What changed his mind was when he confronted actually vetoing the bill. Then he reflected on the effects of what he was doing, and changed his mind. Good for him.

    And I wouldn’t call it hypocrisy, either. I’m sure there are plenty of parents who love their gay children, but just cannot re-examine their religious or personal beliefs sufficiently to accept gay marriage. They may be wrong, but they aren’t hypocrites.

  • Way to open up Mayor. At least you aren’t a hypocrite like the Cheneys. “screw every body else’s daughters, except mine.” Jaw dropping when you are forced to think huh? Better than just blindly accepting a theoretical talking point as true. Gays are people too…what a discovery.

    Here’s a scary thought for those who believe in reincarnation…the more wars there are the more souls will incarnate into opposite sex bodies. More war…more gays…accept the love idiots.

  • The key to social change in this country seems fairly straightforward: wait for conservatives to have more life experience.

    Canadian sociologist Bob Altemeyer would agree. From his book The Authoritarians:

    Visible minorities. Along this same line, high RWAs [Right Wing Authoritarians] misperceive how diverse America is. It’s quite natural to think, when you are in the white, Christian, heterosexual, solvent majority that this is a huge majority. Minorities should speak out for their rights. If they don’t, they are (among other things) helping a lot of the majority remain steeped in ignorance. People can learn, but they won’t have a chance if the minorities remain invisible. I know, I know, the high RWAs will howl whatever chorus their leaders dictate when minorities become “uppity”. But recall the evidence that nothing improves authoritarians’ attitudes toward homosexuals as much as getting to know a homosexual–or learning that they’ve known one for years.


  • But then a funny thing happened — Sanders’ daughter told him she’s gay.

    … and the Grinch’s small heart Grew three sizes that day!

  • Interesting that a man such as Sanders suddenly sees clearly.
    Astounding that as a public figure he couldn’t care less about the condition of others until it concerns his family. I have no delusions that about his sudden interest in people as human beings lasting very long, however. Unless he’s willing to denounce his political affiliation he’ just one more hypocritical douchebag from the right, unwilling to extend the dignity everyone deserves just for being alive.
    I truly hate Republicans for destroying the United States of America.

  • At least he did the right thing. So what if it took life experience? He very well could have vetoed, but he changed his position and risked pissing off the GOP. I couldn’t be happier when I hear about a Republican politician supporting more liberal social stances.

  • As a San Diego resident, I have to weigh in and say that Mayor Sanders has always been socially tolerant even though he took the wrong position on gay marriage during the mayoral campaign. I didn’t support him or vote for him. I supported the Democrat in the race and not just because she was a Democrat. (It’s supposed to be a nonpartisan race.)

    He has supported lesbian candidates in their races to be his city council member. And he swiftly and strongly ordered the police pursuit of gaybashers who attacked some of the last attendees at last year’s Gay Pride festival.

    Apparently it’s an open secret that his daughter is lesbian, and he has known for some time. And some of his top staff are gay, including spokespeople who have presented his position on civil unions and marriage. But I suspect that this man actually has a conscience! And unlike many other Republicans who are willing to sell their souls to win the support of a social conservative base, he would rather live with his conscience.

    There was a time when Gay rights could find what little support it had on both sides of the aisle. And then the wingnuts came along.

    I suspect that the real story here is not that he changed his official position. I suspect that it is, why is a macho former police chief crying as he announces this? Expect repercussions from Republican social conservatives in the upcoming elections.

  • Here’s my favorite Republican flipflop: They demand retarded drug laws until it’s their kid who needs medical marijuana.

    My favorite? People who go around calling things they don’t like “retarded” until it’s their kid who has a cognitive disability.

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