Guest Post by Morbo
I signed up to get e-mail alerts from several religious right groups just to see what these organizations are up to. I never expected it to be so entertaining.
Every few days, a veritable cornucopia of kookiness flows into my in box. One of my favorites is Worldview Weekend, a collection of Christian fundamentalist theocrats much beloved by Tom DeLay, who would be frightening if they weren’t so hopelessly gullible. http://www.worldviewweekend.com/
The latest alert from Worldview Weekend, so named because the group hosts weekend events that teach you how to be a “real” Christian, is interesting because it deals with an item you might have missed in the secular media: Seems some guy “found” Noah’s Ark.
Deluded fundamentalists and misguided would-be adventurers have been looking for Noah’s Ark for a long time. They haven’t managed to find it, but over the years they have discovered numerous rock outcroppings on Mount Ararat in Turkey.
Now, in a major new development, rock outcroppings are also being discovered in mountains in Iran. As Worldview’s Brannon S. Howse breathlessly writes, the latest expedition “returned to the U.S. from rugged mountains in Iran with astonishing video footage of a monstrous black formation which looks like rock but bears the amazing image of hundreds of massive, wooden, hand-hewn beams. Could it be the lost ark on which two of every animal once sailed with their human rescuer?”
Ah, no. My guess is it looks like a rock because it is a rock.
Examine the pictures closely. You don’t have to possess a degree in geology to recognize rock strata when you see it. Of course, Worldview Weekend people don’t believe in rock strata because they don’t believe in an ancient Earth, so to them, “wooden beams” must be a plausible explanation.
It pains me to have to do this, but someone must: There never was a Noah’s Ark, and it’s high time you people stopped making yourselves look like horse’s rear ends. Noah’s Ark is a charming tale, but it’s not a true story. It’s what we call an archetypal myth. It has interesting elements that appeal across cultures and down through the ages, and it teaches a moral lesson. It’s kind of like that old story about the fox that could not reach some grapes and so declared that the grapes were sour. You see, there never really was an actual fox who tried to do that. It’s just a story designed to teach a simple lesson.
Lots of cultures retain a flood myth, so maybe there was a huge flood at some point that affected much of the known world. More likely, these tales of mercurial gods who angrily destroy much of their own creation (save one family) speak to some aspect of hope in our shared humanity: Sure, we’re bad — and there was a time, long ago, when god grew so weary of our wickedness that he wanted to destroy us all. But he so loved us that he allowed one good man and his family to live. So maybe there’s hope for us after all.
Ironically, the fundamentalists, by insisting that the story be swallowed literally, drain it of its power. As metaphor, the tale of Noah, his family and the animals speaks powerfully to believers about the awesome force that is God’s love. Fundamentalist Christians make the story into an either/or proposition. Either you accept it as literal truth or you can get nothing from it. What an absurd position.
Look, the tale is improbable. It did not happen. But that doesn’t mean it has nothing to say to us. After all, a man named Sisyphus never actually pushed a giant boulder up a hill over and over only to see it roll back down each time either — but his tale remains instructive. You can call a task “Sisyphean” and at least some people will know you are speaking of ceaseless and pointless labor.
So how did the ark end up in Iran anyway? According to Howse, lead explorer Bob Cornuke was moved to look there after studying the Bible. “His observation was based on the Genesis 11 account that says descendants of Noah came to the Mesopotamian valley from the east,” wrote Howse. “According to Cornuke, that would put the Biblical mountains of Ararat somewhere in the northern reaches of Iran. He also cited ancient historians such as Nicholas of Damascus and Flavius Josephus who wrote just before and after Christ that timbers of the ark had survived in what would today be the higher mountains of Iran.” (Cornuke really is a piece of work. See more on him here)
How convenient. Having failed to find the ark in Turkey, “biblical archeologists” can now waste time finding vaguely ark-shaped rock outcroppings in other Middle Eastern nations. That should keep them busy — and tapping the faithful for funds — for many years.
Here’s a challenge to my fundamentalist friends: Quit wasting time and money looking for the ark. Instead, take the money you blow on these expeditions posing as fundamentalist versions of Indiana Jones and use it do something Jesus would do — like maybe feed the hungry, shelter the homeless and clothe the naked.
Just a thought.
