Crazy Curt Weldon

June 29, 2006

I know I’m a day late on this one, but it’s too funny not to share.

A caravan of jeeps and heavy equipment crawls across the [tag]Iraq[/tag]i desert, headed for a secret location on the banks of the Euphrates River.

Their mission: to dig 25 feet down into the riverbed and unearth concrete bunkers filled with chemical weapons produced by [tag]Saddam Hussein[/tag]’s regime and hidden before the outbreak of the Iraq war in 2003.

And who’s that, dressed in a safari jacket and a pith helmet, supervising the dig? None other than our own U.S. Rep. [tag]Curt Weldon[/tag] (R., Pa.), leading a secret mission to unearth the Holy Grail of the [tag]war[/tag]: the weapons of mass destruction that have eluded every other U.S. search team since our troops invaded three years ago.

The whole story smacks of an Elmore Leonard novel.

Dave Gaubatz, a retired Air Force special investigator, continues to insist that Iraq not only had [tag]WMD[/tag] immediately before the war, but that he knows almost exactly where they are. Weldon, perhaps Congress’ least sane member, not only believes Gaubatz, but plotted a secret mission — for himself — in which he’d personally go to Iraq, shovel in hand, and find the elusive stockpiles of dangerous weapons. Seriously.

Gaubatz said that Weldon latched onto the idea as a “personal political venture.” Weldon planned to go to Iraq, under the guise of visiting the troops, but would actually go to [tag]Nasiriyah[/tag] to go weapons hunting. Naturally, Weldon, the vice chairman of the House Armed Services Committee, wouldn’t tell anyone in the U.S. military what he was up to, because they might spoil his fun.

As Kevin put it, Weldon planned to simply freelance the whole thing, and once successful, “he was going to call in the press and declare himself Weldon of Arabia, Discoverer of WMD.”

Remember, Republicans, this guy is one of yours.

In some ways it’s unfortunate that Weldon didn’t get to actually go on his snipe hunt expedition to hunt for buried treasure in Mesapotamia, as we might have been able to be rid of him permanently. OTOH, if he were captured and ransomed, presumably numbers of blameless U.S. servicepersons would have been detailed to find his worthless ass, a dangerous and probably futile mission.

  • This is as bad as Santorum. Try, by any lie possible, to keep some fraction of the American public believing that despite all the efforts of the Iraqi Survey Group, there is some possibility that there were or are some chemical weapons in Iraq that will qualify as WMD and take our minds off the fact that Condi and Cheney threatened us with a nuclear bomb, not mustard gas.

    Republican’ts, can’t find WMD, can’t prove a negative, can’t give it up, CAN’T TELL THE TURTH!

  • This reminds you of an Elmore Leonard novel? I don’t know, the pith helmet makes me think of Groucho Marx in ‘Animal Crackers,’ playing the intrepid Captain Spalding who once whipped his weight in wild caterpillars.

    Okay, Groucho’s funnier, but still . . .

  • Raiders of the Lost WMD?

    WMD Raider?

    Bwhanna of the Desert?

    It seems that Sarin and Mustard Gas gives Weldon a hard on. Rush, take note.

  • Republican conservative fantasies of seeing life as a movie began with Reagan when he took Disney’s “when you wish upon a star ..anything your heart desires will come to youuuu” as a foundation for faith based optimism guiding government policy.
    Iraq demonstrates the futility of such cinematic heroic impulses with a naive belief that Hollywood endings happen for those who believe.
    Weldon needs a bullwhip and an adventure movie to star in.
    Faith based realtiy testing is for stuntmen.

  • No, no, no.

    I wanted Weldon to actually go, but be covered by all the news media. When he digs up and gets nothing, I want him to get egg on his face as he so richly deserves.

  • Weldon’s Big Adventure presonifies the Republican Politics of Personal Gain. Screw doing the right thing — it’s all about themselves. Just when you think they can’t get anymore individually selfish …

    This kinf of reminds me of the movie “The Jewel of the Nile” when the jewel was actually a holy man. The Republicans are their own WMDs. Just like how many lives and how much of our national future and fortune they’ve destroyed. Weldon just needs to look in the mirror to see a WMD.

  • What can I say, other than Curt Weldon is legitimate proof that Elmer Fudd really exists? Maybe we should sic a rabbit with attitude on him—and play it on Saturday mornings for all the kiddies to see.

  • “What a maroon?”

    Curt doesn’t need a rabbit; he’s one “wacky wabbit” himself.

  • “I wanted Weldon to actually go, but be covered by all the news media. When he digs up and gets nothing, I want him to get egg on his face as he so richly deserves.” – Will O The Wisp

    Dave Gaubatz says he cancelled the trip because Weldon was going to be ‘political’.

    What the Eff does he think it was going to be? Is it any surprise the Military has no time for his bullshit.

  • Wouldn’t the White House and the Pentagon, desperate for anything to justify their invasion, have already looked into these claims?

    Considering the people in this administration believed Chalabi and someone code-named “Curveball”, this kind of accusation would at least grab their interest.

    Besides, the Pentagon could give another $1 billion contract to Halliburton to dig these bunkers up. I think Cheney would love that.

  • The whole story smacks of an Elmore Leonard novel.

    i’d say carl hiaasen, but close enough.

    your pal,
    blake

  • Here is the text of a letter I recently wrote to Rep. Curt Weldon:

    Dear Mr. Weldon,

    Having viewed the hearing on the Weapons of Mass Destruction found in Iraq, I must make an observation of a distiction that you apparently do not understand regarding the term “Weapons of Mass Destruction”.

    Albert Einstein came up with the famous equation “E = mc squared” to explain the fact that energy is released when mass is destroyed. Consequently, the common use of the term “WMD” or “Weapons of Mass Destruction” refers
    to the fact that mass is destroyed when, under the process of Nuclear Fission, protons and neutrons are converted to heat and light in the kind of explosion that destroyed the Japanese cities of Hiroshema and Nagasaki. 500 shells of chemical weapons do not constitute WMD, nor do they contain as much destructive power as a single thermonuclear bomb.

    Albert Einstein was so aware of the danger of the possibility of
    such weapons that he wrote President Roosevelt, to let him know that under no circumstances could we allow Adolf Hitler’s Germany to develop these weapons before we did here in the United States. The Los Alamos Laboratories were secretly set up in rural New Mexico for the purpose of developing the nuclear bomb, and the rest is history.

    We do not do ourselves a service when we confuse chemical weapons such as TNT and biological agents such as Serin gas with Nuclear weapons in which mass is destroyed according to the equation E = mc squared.

    No matter how dangerous chemical weapons are, and no matter how dangerous biological weapons are, they are not WMD. WMD are weapons that can kill hundreds of thousands of people in a single blast.

    Regards,

    Glendon M. Gross

  • Curt Weldon, what can I say?

    I’m still angry about Weldon and Santorum, being pit bulls for the
    Republican party, in the Republican’s vendetta against President Clinton’s
    whole 8 yrs as President. These two low lives wanted to make a name
    for themselves, by helping to put President Clinton through an underserved
    Iimpeachment.

    So, I’m not surprised at anything these fools would try. They would do anything to be one of the big boys in their party. They are as insane as
    a person can get. If they would only look, the Republicans only tolerate,
    these two bumblers, and sic them on anyone and anything,as trial ballons
    before they put the big boys out to do their dirty deeds.

    Weldon is the low man on the list of Republicans. Yes I can see him
    going to Iraq to find WMD. Republicans would not let him go, knowing
    this dimwit would REALLY make them look bad.

    Now Weldon is running against a real, honorable man, Joe Sestak. Weldon can’t say anything about issues, or his own accomplishments, but he is dirty enough to bring up Joe Sestak’s beautiful daughter, and where her parents want to send her to get the best treatment for her illness.HOW LOW CAN YOU GO. Well look at Weldon, and you will see the lowest of low.

  • The madness and destructive force launched against Curt Weldon is reminesant of the same destructive force launched against Joe McCarthy.

    Joe was on to something. That is for sure. But he had a bad way of articulating his point.

    But hear you this, it was Curt Weldon and only he who brought Able Danger to the light of day.

    And for this the deleted expletive miscreants that Ike warned us about launched an vendetta to destroy the man.

    He and only he brought to light elements of truth that gross incompetence or worse was the reason we were hit while we slept on 911.

    He and only he showed that if the right minds were on watch it could have been obviated.

    This writer asks this question. Why was his daughters house trashed two weeks before election day?

    Why was his son hit by feds for having a roach in his right pocket?

    Why him.

    Why him.

    This writer will tell you why.

    Curt Weldon is the proverbial man who Hitchcock said “knows too much.”

    He uncovered what the Pentagon did now want uncovered.

    So he is on his third warning.

    Go easy on the man.

    He tried to do the right thing.

    And that was to put light on Able Danger.

    Hang in there Curt old boy, a grateful nation will one day raise your name with the high honor it deserves.

    God help us.

    JOHN W. BUGLER
    BUGLER.ORG

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