Third-rate television evangelists can be found nearly everywhere, unfortunately. Few, however, are sought out by presidential administrations for advice on foreign policy. Jack Van Impe is claiming to be just such an evangelist.
Truth be told, I was completely unfamiliar with Van Impe, so I turned to trusted Carpetbagger friend Morbo, who knows more about these things than I do, for information.
Van Impe, Morbo explained, is “absolutely nuts — I mean, rabid-dog crazy.” His television broadcasts feature the most lurid and outrageous claims possible, and considering his competition among American televangelists, that’s fairly impressive. During the Clinton years, Mobro told me, Van Impe “ran ‘documentaries’ about how Clinton was paving the way for a UN in invasion of the United States.” Van Impe also tried to bilk his viewers by hyping the Y2K bug as a possible sign of the end times.
With this context in mind, I was amused to see a report sent in by Carpetbagger regular Chief Osceola about Van Impe’s latest bizarre claim.
Apparently, in response to a concerned question by one of his supporters, Van Impe announced this week that the White House has contacted him as an expert on Biblical prophecy for suggestions as to how the crisis in the Middle East will be resolved. He did not appear to be kidding.
Saying that he believes Bush is “a wonderful man,” Van Impe added that he was “not sure whether [Bush] knows all of the prophecies.” Not to fear; Van Impe is going to lend Bush a hand.
“I was contacted a few weeks ago by the Office of Public Liaison for the White House and by the National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice to make an outline,” Van Impe said. “And I’ve spent hours preparing it. I will release this information to the public in September, but it’s in [Bush’s] hands. He will know exactly what is going to happen in the Middle East and what part he will have under the leading of the Holy Spirit of God. So, it’s a tremendous time to be alive.”
Now if you’ve seen my site before today, you know that I’m not a big fan of the Bush administration. Yet even I don’t think Bush White House officials are crazy enough to contact a fringe televangelist for advice on the Middle East. (For that matter, I don’t really believe they’re contacting any televangelists — fringe or not — for suggestions on foreign policy.)
I’m left to conclude that Van Impe may have been fibbing about getting a call from Condi Rice. Isn’t there a Commandment about bearing false witness?
Somehow, MSNBC’s gossip columnist heard about Van Impe’s claim and actually called the White House for comment.
“My investigation into it is that there’s no truth to it,” National Security Council spokesman Sean McCormack told MSNBC, “but I’m continuing to look into it.”
I feel better already.