Posted by Morbo
It’s a sad fact of life that much of the world lives under the iron fists of cruel dictators. In the wake of the recent Iraqi elections, many are celebrating the return of democracy to that country. That’s nice.
Morbo hates to be a spoilsport, but I feel compelled to point out that Americans were told we had to invade the country because it had weapons of mass destruction, not to bring free elections and democracy. But as well all know, no weapons were found, so now the Bush administration has retroactively changed the reason why we started all of this. Turns out it’s been about freedom and democracy all along.
That’s all well and good. But if the standard is now freeing people from tyranny, we have a lot more work to do. What’s good for people in Iraq is good for the oppressed everywhere. After all, we wouldn’t want anyone to get the idea that this was about, say, oil or settling an old grudge.
Bush talked about bringing freedom to the entire world during his second inaugural address. He later backed off, and his dad said he didn’t really mean it. But then he brought it up again during the State of the Union — although again with no specifics.
We all know this is just airy rhetoric and that Bush has no intention of offering any follow through. But let’s pretend for a moment that the man actually has the courage of his convictions. If Bush were serious about bringing freedom and democracy to the world, who would get the benefit of American arms next?
Every year, the writer David Wallechinsky consults with the groups Amnesty International, Freedom House, Human Rights Watch and Reporters Without Borders to draw up a list of the world’s worst dictators. His most recent list was issued in August of 2004. It did not make much of a splash in the United States, but the oversees media was interested. (This post, in fact, was inspired by a story in the Daily Mirror of London.) Let’s take a look at the list and assess the chances that any of the countries on it will soon enjoy freedom and democracy care of the good old USA:
Country: North Korea
Dictator: Kim Jong Il
Rap Sheet: Megalomaniac with bad hair and goofy jumpsuit whose ineptitude sparked widespread famine. Country is an economic basket case that is closed to the West. Kim Jong Il is paranoid, and his government totally repressive. Used part of treasury to make “Godzilla”-like movie about Western imperialism.
Chances U.S. Will Invade To Bring Freedom: There was loose talk for a while — North Korea made the axis of evil, after all — but then we found out they may have nukes.
Country: Burma
Dictator: Gen. Than Shwe
Rap Sheet: Oversees military dictatorship and long-running war. Sends opponents to squalid “refuge” camps. Suspended free elections when he lost in 1990 and put opponent who won under house arrest.
Chances U.S. Will Invade To Bring Freedom: Slim. Ever heard Rummy, Wolfowitz, Scooter Libby, Ms. Rice or any other members of the “freedom-is-on-the-march” gang talk about this country for more than a minute?
Country: China
Dictator: Hu Jintao
Rap Sheet: Presides over one of the last Communist states. No free speech, no free press. Lots of executions (more than Texas even!) Police agents monitor internet use. Government tells people how many children they can have. Repression of religion, etc.
Chances U.S. Will Invade To Bring Freedom: You know that stuff you buy real cheap down at the Wal-Mart? Look at the bottom of some of it. Guess where it’s made!
Country: Zimbabwe
Dictator: Robert Mugabe
Rap Sheet: Accused of killing, torturing or displacing at least 70,000. No freedom of speech. Country is impoverished hellhole. Recently announced elections, but the main opposition party has only warily agreed to participate because they suspect the election will not be fair.
Chances U.S. Will Invade To Bring Freedom: Not likely. He has been a Western ally most of his life.
Country: Saudi Arabia
Dictator: Prince Abdullah
Rap Sheet: Absolute controller of theocratic Muslim kingdom. Women cannot vote, drive or go outside without a male escort. No free elections ever. Public executions — beheadings — held in sports stadiums. Human Rights Watch says nearly 9 million foreign workers live in “slavery like” conditions.
Chances U.S. Will Invade To Bring Freedom: Yeah, right. How many Cadillacs and luxury SUVs owned by sheiks and princes have been parked outside the Crawford ranch since 2000?
Country: Equatorial Guinea
Dictator: Teodoro Obiang Nguema
Rap Sheet: Nut who claims God speaks to him and has given him permission to kill his enemies. No freedom of speech or press. Lives in fabulous wealth while average citizen gets by on about a dollar a day. Accused of eating the testicles of executed prisoners. (No kidding.)
Chances U.S. Will Invade To Bring Freedom: Be serious now. Had you even heard of this country before you read this? If you haven’t heard of it, what are the chances Bush has?
Country: Sudan
Dictator: Omar al-Bashir
Rap Sheet: Presides over 20-year civil war. Two million dead, four million homeless. Massive famine. Massacres of non-Muslims.
Chances U.S. Will Invade To Bring Freedom: Many of Bush’s Religious Right allies have brought the situation in Sudan to his attention, but so far, little has been done. UN recommends use of international court, which Bush steadfastly opposes.
Country: Turkmenistan
Dictator: Saparmurat Niyazov
Rap Sheet: Unhinged loon creating cult of personality/police state. Workers forced to memorize passages from his turgid books. Schoolchildren made to recite his heroic deeds and bow before his photo, etc. Claims to have added passages to the Koran. Brooks no dissent.
Chances U.S. Will Invade To Bring Freedom: Didn’t we already invade one of these “stan” countries? Let someone else bring this one freedom — maybe Putin.
Country: Cuba
Dictator: Fidel Castro
Rap Sheet: Oppressive Communist in bad uniform. Presides over massive poverty, state-controlled media and so on. No free elections. Jails opposition journalists.
Chances U.S. Will Invade To Bring Freedom: Invading Cuba is soooo 1960s. Surely he’ll die soon, right? I mean, the guy can’t live forever.
Country: Swaziland
Dictator: King Mswati III
Rap Sheet: Lives extremely well in opulent mansions with lots of cool cars while poverty-stricken nation goes to seed. Worst HIV infection rate in the world with nearly 40 percent infected. Announced recently that he will take his 13th wife, a teenager — once she passes an HIV test.
Chances U.S. Will Invade To Bring Freedom: Swaziland’s leading exports are asbestos, clay and “cassiterite.” ‘Nuff said.