Friedman envisions Obama-Cheney ’08

Just when it seemed Thomas Friedman realized the destructive nature of Dick Cheney’s foreign-policy vision, the New York Times columnist suggested yesterday that the VP’s approach is not only healthy, but should play a role beyond 2008 if a Democrat succeeds Bush. Specifically, Friedman seems excited by the prospect of an “Obama-Cheney ticket.” (Friedman goes so far as to say “they complete each other.”)

Even before going further, one really has to wonder what on earth Friedman is thinking giving Cheney any praise at all. His tenure as Vice President has been without redeeming value. Confronted with various challenges, Dick Cheney has managed to get every question wrong, with every decision making matters worse, all in the midst of unprecedented secrecy and legally-dubious power-grabs. He is, by any reasonable measure, the worst VP in the history of the country, and one of the most destructive political forces of his generation.

Responding to Friedman’s notion that we should keep Cheney in a position of power beyond January 2009, hilzoy suggested Friedman might next week “recommend that the Democratic nominee make the disinterred corpse of Richard Nixon Attorney General, or Typhoid Mary the head of the Centers for Disease Control, or Pol Pot the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development.”

As for the specific political argument, Friedman argues:

I think a President Obama offering to go to Tehran would have a huge impact on that country and create lots of internal debate, especially if we made clear that America would be satisfied with a verifiable change of Iranian behavior.

But Mr. Obama’s stress on engaging Iran, while a useful antidote to the Bush boycott policy, is not sufficient…. Mr. Obama’s gift for outreach would be so much more effective with a Dick Cheney standing over his right shoulder, quietly pounding a baseball bat into his palm.

Glenn Greenwald had a great post on Friedman’s bizarre affinity for a belligerent foreign policy: “As Friedmans’ column this morning demonstrates, this is exactly the same mentality which our pundit class continues to embrace today: America can only succeed in the world if we run around constantly threatening countries that we will invade and incinerate them.”

That’s absolutely right, but I’d add that on Iran specifically, Friedman’s recommendation is completely nonsensical.

As hilzoy’s post documents nicely, there are two tragic flaws in Friedman’s thinking. First, he envisions a divided presidential administration — in this case, Obama’s — in which a reasonable approach to foreign policy is counterbalanced with a lunatic that scares foreign governments.

In other words, Friedman has watched the divisions between Powell and Rice on one side, and Cheney and Rumsfeld on the other, and concluded that we need more of this in the next presidential administration. I’m not sure if Friedman’s noticed, but this dynamic hasn’t exactly worked to anyone’s benefit the last seven years.

Second, and just as important, Friedman’s notion that Cheney is specifically a credible actor on Iran is absurd given that our current predicament is largely Cheney’s fault.

As hilzoy concluded:

[Cheney] has tried to block every diplomatic initiative we might have taken, just as he did with North Korea. He and the rest of the hawks in the White House are responsible for the fact that we now find ourselves confronted with an Iran seeking nuclear weapons, and virtually no leverage to use against them.

This is the guy Tom Friedman thinks Barack Obama needs on his team, to help him negotiate with Iran. And Tom Friedman is a person we’re supposed to take seriously.

No, I don’t understand it, either.

All I could think when I read this is that Friedman must be feeling so irrelevant that he decided to write something really over-the-top to get people to pay attention to him again; maybe he had dinner with Ann Coulter and this was her advice – it kind of has that flavor, but who knows?

I wonder, though, how he’s feeling about the gales of laughter and the index-fingers-rotating-next-to-temple in the universal sign for “he’s crazy?” Coulter probably warned him about that, so maybe he was prepared.

But, just so Friedman knows, the only seat I would want Cheney to have access to is the toilet seat, and he’s welcome to feel powerful there if it will keep him the hell away from government and policy-making.

  • Stop reading Friedman. Just. Stop.

    I always thought he seemed a bit of a dufus, though everyone on the teevee treated him as a knowledgeable eminence. Now I’ve come to realize that the goofy persona didn’t, in fact, mask a crafty intellect; it was the essence of the man and not just a surface.

    Pundits who advocated this war should all go away and become something harmless, like insurance salesmen or mattress testers or something. Since Friedman married more money than God he could just retire.

  • quietly pounding a baseball bat into his palm

    Tom “6-more-months” Friedman obviously had a troubled childhood.

  • #4 JimBob

    Brilliant post – exactly my thoughts. Have you noticed nobody leaves “The world is flat” on their coffee tables any more? The doofus has revealed himself, and his books now retreated to the back of people’s bookshelves.

  • When I read the editorial, I had the same thoughts as Anne – he was trying to get attention by being outlandish. Unfortunately, I suspect he believes what he said. Maybe not Cheney per se, but the kind of person Cheney is perceived to be – tough, slightly crazy, DANGEROUS. Maybe if you marry into so much money and the safety that brings, dangerous become alluring. He needs to talk about this issue with his shrink.

  • his books now retreated to the back of people’s bookshelves

    ha! the back of the furnace, actually. I did, to my regret, buy one of this fools’ books, and it turned out to be 300 pages of filler, and …. well, nothing else beyond the perception that poor people want things, too. Shock, horror! Who knew they even had volition?

  • Another term—with Cheney? Are you trying to make me die a premature death?!? Give me ulcers the size of Philadelphia? Ruin my appetite—just in time for Thanksgiving?

    Now I’ll get to spend the rest of the day washing my brain out with lye soap. Talk about your more-evil-than-evil, scary-thing thoughts….

  • He’s a lazy, sloppy sloth who thinks regurgitating the same elite, insider, conventional wisdom makes him look thoughtful and serious. On this particular retread we are treated to some familiar, yet threadbare themes: Partisan Dems should embrace the most extreme and certifiably insane elements of the other party in the interest of “unity”. He couples that with the notion that Arabs only understand threat and force.

    I won’t argue they don’t understand these things. On the contrary. After 7 years of foreign policy based exclusively on threat and force, they appear to understand this quite clearly. The problem is that it hasn’t accomplished anything except a deepening crisis.

    I guess in Tommy’s overtaxed little brain, the only reason for Bush’s failures is that mean old Democrats occasionally disagreed. If the Dem’s embraced the insanity of the neocons, all those Arabs would suddenly say, “Gosh golly, Mr Bush. Whatever you want.” Peace would break out and oil would drop to $5/barrel.

    Tommy should be writing this sort of piece for the Onion, but as we all know, he’s a very serious person.

  • Are pundits and their opinions really news… or even newsworthy?

    Was this a case of spewing utter nonsense just to hear oneself talk?…
    with perhaps the desire that if it is really ridiculous enough, one will be talked about in blogs and elsewhere?

  • But Mr. Obama’s stress on engaging Iran, while a useful antidote to the Bush boycott policy, is not sufficient…. Mr. Obama’s gift for outreach would be so much more effective with a Dick Cheney standing over his right shoulder, quietly pounding a baseball bat into his palm.

    Dick Cheney is the wrong guy to do this- he’s not thuggy, he’s an idiot. He’s just a tough-guy wannabe who convinced himself he’s the real thing. Remember how we spent almost all of Bush’s two terms talking all this stuff about how we “have” to play hardball with North Korea, and that’s what’s going to get compliance from them– but now we engage them in talks, just like liberals would have had them done from the very beginning? These guys don’t know when to intimidate and when to talk, they just want to pretend to be movie heroes. Cheney is the guy who thinks ex-Navy SEALs are the perfect guys to be bodyguards or convoy guards just because they’re ex-commandos. The perfect guys to be convoy guards or bodyguards are actually guys who have a whole lot of dangerous convoy guarding and body guarding experience. Turns out Blackwater brought a lot of sociopathy to how they do their job.

    Cheney thinks that commanding a military is like playing with toy trains. It’s actually a mental discipline and a science that takes a lot more know-how and thought to apply effectively than he could muster ten percent of to wield. It’s not like playing video games.

    What Cheney is good at is talking shit to cover his ass. He should be a PR guy, not any kind of a leader, and he should not have any influence on military operations. At one time he may have been a more sane thinker about Iraq than he is now, but now he’s let his judgment be overcome with insane ambitions. That’s why the infrastructure is shit and their police force and military are crumbling even though the greatest country in the world has been helping them tremendously for four and a half years.

  • Cheney isn’t a mafioso, he’s a country-club golf fanatic- one of those guys. He can’t get it in his head how to really fight, because fake fighting from the movies he watched as a kid occupies the whole concept for him. Movies aren’t reality- the reason they disproportionately show people accomplishing their goals through threats and force is because it’s exciting and what people want to see. You’re hardly going to find an infantry school where soldiers are taught to run their war-time operation anything remotely like what they’d be taught from the usual action-movie cliches.

    During the Vietnam War it was even well-known among combat troops that “John Waynes” and “doing a John Wayne” were dumb. Somehow we’ve abandoned that knowledge- it seems turning away from actual combat troops (Kerry) to lead us in a time fo war to have wannabe-warrior draft-dodgers leading us instead has done it. Did John Bolton have combat experience, for all his tough talk? No. His combat experience is getting into a fistfight in highschool. Did Condi? No. All of these people are wannabes.

  • Friedman’s worried that a Democratic president won’t beat down the Arabs and Persians the way Cheney and Bush have. Cheney as VP is an outlandish proposition, but Friedman is really trying to signal his concerns without sounding like the racist that he is.

  • The most frightening thing in Friedman’s column is this:

    “I see Iran using its proxies, its chess pieces — Hamas, Hezbollah, Syria and the Shiite militias in Iraq — to stymie America and its allies across the region.”

    See this. Iran is The Great Satan, The Evil Empire, and all the rest of the bad guys are merely orcs doing Sauron’s bidding–which should come as a surprise to Hamas, Hezbollah, Syria, and the Shiite militias, who thought they were acting out their own policies.

    Smash Iran, and all other threats in the Mideast will, presumably, evaporate.

  • There’s no reasonable response to Friedman’s drivel. The only thing I can surmise is that someone is slipping LSD into the Kool-Aid.

  • I guess Friedman’s keeper must have taken off for Thanksgiving already and there was nobody to remind the Fried-brain boob to take his meds regularly. Pity. For the past 2-3 weeks, he sounded almost OK…

  • Wowee – what a bunch of knee jerking going on in this posting and comments. I would have expected more from this site. Am I the only one not taking Mr Friedmans article at face value?

    Mr Friedman is clearly being whimsical when pairing Obama and Cheney – the comment “Dare I say, they complete each other” is clearly understood to be a nod to a certain gay cowboy movie line of dialogue, not to be taken “literally”.

    Come on guys, get past what Mr Friedman is “literally” saying and think about the GIST of the article. He is clearly NOT saying Obama and Cheney should have an ’08 ticket together, he is clearly NOT supporting Cheneys hawkish tendencies, he’s not even saying Iran is the root of all evil. He is simply saying that if Obama represents “talk”, and Cheney represents “threat”, an ideal middle ground policy toward Iran would be “talk and be willing to back it up with action”. Or, “speak softly and carry a big stick”. Not too difficult a concept is it?

    In other words, everyone – take a deep breath, soothe that jerking knee, open your eyes, read the column one more time, and try again.

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