Future, family, and football

August 23, 2005

Over the weekend, Sen. George Allen (R-Va.) looked pretty ridiculous comparing violent militias in Iraq to the various state and federal agencies in American law enforcement. Of course, in Republican circles, embarrassing appearances on national television only increases one’s stature in advance of a presidential campaign.

Conservative Republicans are becoming increasingly convinced that Virginia Sen. George Allen will run for president in 2008 — and win. “He’s got the right pedigree,” says a longtime Bush adviser. “He’s conservative, he’s a former southern governor, and he’s likable.”

Another GOP sage notes that Allen’s chairmanship of the National Republican Senatorial Committee gave him a chance to travel the nation and polish his stump speech. “People like him,” the official says. “He’s the one in the race who’s got that Bush quality.” A former Bush aide says 2008 is shaping up as a “Bush legacy” election and predicts the GOP primary victor will be a lot like Bush in style and policy.

At least on that last point — Bush and Allen have a similar “style” — that former Bush aide may have a point. Consider the picture from Allen’s bio on his Senate website.

There’s the senator, with his wife, Susan, and their three children, Tyler, Forrest, and Brooke. And then there’s the football in Allen’s right hand.

Now, if this were a picture of a football player and his family, that might make some sense, but we’re talking about a former governor, sitting senator, and would-be president. Granted, Allen played college ball, but that was over 30 years ago.

Why in the world does a senator hold a football in a family photo? Maybe because Allen is one of those few figures “who’s got that Bush quality.”

Maybe the ball is like a security blanket for Allen. I’ve seen family portraits with children holding a toy to make them feel better and smile for the nice man behind the camera. This could be the same thing.

  • I posted this yesterday with respect to Frist, but with a minor lateration I’ll repost it today, as it is equally applicable to Allen, and Santorum, and DeLay, etc., etc., etc.:

    George Allen = Forrest Gump

    “Pathetic is as pathetic does.”

    Or was that, “Stupid is as stupid does.”

    There just seems to be so damn many of these “stupid does” Rethugs these days that one almost needs a scorecard to keep them straight (and I DON’T mean hetero, either)!

    I think I’ll go to the next Republican National Convention with a truckload of the “I”m With Stupid —>” T-shirts. I expect I’ll make a small fortune!!

  • I think your forgetting that Allen’s father was the legendary football coach of the Washington Redskins. Thus, Senator Allen’s entire schtick since entering politics is working utterly idiotic football references into his speeches. Here’s what Mark Schmitt wrote a few months ago:

    Neither one of these characters rises to even the middle tier of mediocrity, but there’s something fascinating about Allen: He does not speak English. I mean that almost literally, in that he does not construct sentences made up of commonplace English words. Rather, he speaks entirely in a patois constructed of football metaphors. Absolutely everything is second down or third down, or five yards or ten yards or a Hail Mary. If you were unfamiliar with the basic jargon of American football (as many people are), his every word would be incomprehensible. His official photo on his web site has him holding a football. Try going through a day using a football (or baseball or basketball) metaphor for every conversation, and you get a sense of what it would be like to be George Allen.

    To think that this guy may very well be our 44th President….ahh, it’s too early in the morning.

  • “Why in the world does a senator hold a football in a family photo? Maybe because Allen is one of those few figures “who’s got that Bush quality.” ”

    Yeah, to remind the public of who his father is. Making a living not off of what his accomplishments are, but instead off of a family member’s prior accomplishments. That clearly is an Ol’ Shifty quality.

  • dumb? check
    southern? check
    fundy? probably

    Ok, I’ll predict right now: he’s the nominee in 2008.

  • If he wanted to look more like the prez, wouldn’t it be better if the picture were of him dropping the ball?

  • Well, his father IS in the Football Hall of Fame and WAS a successful coach. And apparently Geroge WAS a member of the University of Virginia football team. So why not?

  • I thiought what bubba did – because he’s nothing on his own – a true empty suit – and has to rely on his daddy’s accomplishments to make himself stand out.

    I’d like to invite you to participate in our informal contest to best characterize George Allen’s level of stupidity. I was happily relatively unaware of the guy till I started tuning in on Foreign Relations Committee hearings. All those smart guys talking – and then there’s George. And Norm Coleman, whose dumbness is more slimy. Allen’s got that Bush quality of utter self-satisfaction at his own lack of content.

  • I thought what bubba did – because he’s nothing on his own – a true empty suit – and has to rely on his daddy’s accomplishments to make himself stand out.

    I’d like to invite you to participate in our informal contest to best characterize George Allen’s level of stupidity. I was happily relatively unaware of the guy till I started tuning in on Foreign Relations Committee hearings. All those smart guys talking – and then there’s George. And Norm Coleman, whose dumbness is more slimy. Allen’s got that Bush quality of utter self-satisfaction at his own lack of content.

  • fundy? probably

    I wouldn’t bet on that one way or the other, but more important and Shrub-like:

    willing to pretend to be fundy and pander at every opportunity? absolutely.

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