If anyone knows about congressional ethics…

May 3, 2006

How is parody even possible when real life is this ironic?

In the irony-on-steroids category, guess who was defending his graduate thesis on Congressional ethics Monday? Cover your eyes and guess, then sit down for the answer.

It was Michael Scanlon. Yes, that Michael Scanlon, the one who has pleaded guilty to conspiracy in the Jack Abramoff lobbying scandal. His topic, as Scanlon himself confirmed, was an “evaluative history of the House ethics process.”

Scanlon defended his thesis at Johns Hopkins University’s Zanvyl Krieger School of Arts and Sciences in Washington, D.C. Our informant, a House Democratic aide and a fellow student in the advanced government program who also was defending his thesis on Monday evening, still is trying to lift his jaw off the floor.

“It was all I could do not to break into hysterics,” he said.

For what it’s worth, Scanlon insisted that the dysfunctional, stagnant congressional ethics system “is not broken, but functioning in the same manner it has since its creation.” It’s a bit like asking a hacker to talk about online security — the best experts are those who know how to break all the rules.

Scanlon is receiving his post-grad degree while free on $5 million bond, and facing a five-year prison sentence stemming from his role as Abramoff’s business partner.

The congressional ethics system “is not broken, but functioning in the same manner it has since its creation.”

After reading Mark Twain’s take on the politicians of his time, perhaps Scanlon is right.
The congressional ethics system is working….. just as it was intended to work. Something to give the rascals cover while they loot.

  • “It’s a bit like asking a hacker to talk about online security — the best experts are those who know how to break all the rules.”

    I don’t know if anyone else is familiar with Kevin Mitnick, one of the most infamous computer hackers of all time. Mitnick after serving prison time has now become a highly sought after computer security consultant. One of his redeeming qualities, IMO, is that he shows remorse about his past. In addition to his security consulting business he actually does a lot of free work to help people with computer security.

  • Yep, I’m familiar with Kevin Mitnick. Of course, the difference between him and the Rethugs is that pesky issue of remorse. They aint got none. Their contention is that the “ethics system is not broken, but functioning in the same manner it has since its creation.” They think they know how to get around the rules and see nothing wrong with doing it and enriching themselves–ah, the entitlement of the ruling class! Look for Scanlon, after work release, to make money advising people on how to get around ethics laws, not to help catch ethics violators.

  • Guys,
    Mitnick is a sociopath. If he’s showing remorse, it’s because it pays. But that guy, when he was doing his work, was just evil incarnate and highly manipulative. His little vendettas whenever he got thwarted by anyone made Bush’s revenge against Joe Wilson look principled.

    Back OT, Scanlon’s thesis topic is amusingly ironic. He’s no doubt just the kind of person Johns Hopkins is proud to graduate with an advanced degree.

    At least he came by that degree honestly, unlike Jean Schmidt.

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