Maybe it’s my imagination, or maybe it’s still a little early in December, but the “war on Christmas” doesn’t seem to be quite as big a deal this year as the last few years. Bill O’Reilly is still a little worked up and burdened by an oddly misplaced victim complex, but at least thus far, the war in Iraq, post-election maneuvering, and the ISG report seem to have a bit more salience than whether some clerk at the mall wishes shoppers a “happy holidays.”
That said, Jerry Falwell’s legal group is doing its level best to create a controversy where none exists. But instead of expressing outrage when confronted with an inclusive message, Falwell’s gang is going out of its way to seek out that which offends them.
It has come to this: So desperate is the Religious Right to prop up its claims of a “War on Christmas” that it is actually trolling retailers’ Web sites and blowing the whistle on those that fail to use religiously correct terminology.
The Rev. Jerry Falwell’s legal outfit, Liberty Counsel, has actually issued a list of companies it deems “Naughty” or “Nice” depending on the firms’ use of the word “Christmas.” (No, this is not a parody from “The Onion.”)
The list is quite illuminating. Banana Republic, we are told, “has ‘Holiday Gift Guide’ with no mention of any Christmas.” The folks at the Gap, meanwhile, offer a “Holiday Survival Guide” that “has no mention of Christmas.”
Even your poor dog is being oppressed. Liberty Counsel assures us that Petsmart has “a Holiday Shop, and Luv-a-pet ornaments, photos with Santa, but no Christmas.”
It’s a surprisingly comprehensive document Falwell’s elves researchers put together. Readers can find out which retailers are selling Christmas stuff, which have Salvation Army bell ringers, which play Christmas music over store loudspeakers, etc. It’s all kind of … sad.
As my friend Rob Boston put it, “I have this pathetic image of legions of Falwell supporters grimly marching down to the local box stores to examine all of the decorations, make note of what the clerk says at the check-out register and inspect every entrance for Salvation Army bell ringers.”
It’s an odd twist on the “reason for the season” tack, isn’t it? For these religious activists, Christmas isn’t about celebrating Jesus’ birth, family, or goodwill towards the community; it’s about identifying retail enemies at the mall (or online) who dare to wish customers best wishes during the holiday season.
As annoying as this is, I’m left feeling rather sorry for Falwell, O’Reilly, and the poor schmoes who were left to put together Liberty Counsel’s report. It’s probably time that they find a new hobby.
Indeed, imagine for a moment if Jerry Falwell and his staffers spent as much time obsessing over families in poverty as he did over Banana Republic’s “Holiday Gift Guide.” They might actually start to resemble Jesus a bit.
And as long as we’re on the subject, I’m still anxiously awaiting the blistering response from the religious right on this year’s White House Christmas card. Though it quotes the book of Psalms, the card’s text reads, “May the light of the season shine bright in your heart now and in the new year.”
Christmas isn’t mentioned. The “war” continues.