Look, another ‘czar’

Apparently, the FDA is no longer functioning when it comes to food safety, but don’t worry, we now have a new “czar.”

The Bush administration appointed a new “food safety czar” yesterday and directed him to develop a plan for addressing shortcomings exposed by recent scares in the human food supply.

Dr. David W.K. Acheson, a former University of Maryland medical school professor who had been chief medical officer at the Food and Drug Administration’s food safety center, immediately stepped into the job.

The creation of the new position underscored the extent of public concern about the country’s food safety system over a dangerous chemical found in pet food entering the human food supply, in addition to recent outbreaks of bacterial contamination in bagged spinach, Taco Bell lettuce and Peter Pan peanut butter.

Now, I’m not an expert in this, but it doesn’t seem as if the problem up until now has been the lack of a “czar,” but rather, a flawed and ineffective FDA.

It’s almost as if the White House decided that food safety is poised to become the next big administration fiasco — Walter Reed seems to have slipped from the headlines, so the Bush gang is due a new policy scandal — so they came up with the “czar” idea to give the appearance of progress.

It reminds me of The Simpsons episode when Mayor Quimby establishes a “blue-ribbon commission” to address a crisis. One character responded earnestly, “Did he say a blue-ribbon commission?” Prompting another to say, “Well, you can’t do any better than that!” The Bush gang will do the same here: “Sure, there’s a food-safety problem, but look, I named a czar!”

And as long as we’re on the subject, what’s with all the “czars”? I’ve come up with a list….

* The White House wants a “war czar” to oversee the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

* Officials created a “czar” to manage relief efforts along the Gulf Coast after Katrina.

* There’s already a “drug czar.”

* On Labor Day 2003, Bush named a “manufacturing czar.”

* In 2001, after a cybersecurity controversy erupted, the White House announced a “privacy czar.”

* OMB created a “regulatory czar.”

And now there’s a “food safety czar.” Here’s a radical idea: why not use the existing federal bureaucracy, government agencies, and competent officials to do their jobs without creating some new “czar” position? Or is that pre-9/11 thinking?

With a “czar,” you have direct control over what he/she says or does. You order everyone else to shut up so your “czar” can do all the talking.

This is CYA, not accountability, oversight or improving existing bureaucracy.

  • “why not use the existing federal bureaucracy”

    Only a Czar Czar could implement this reform.

  • Corporate government at its finest. What problem in corporate America cannot be solved with another VP with an MBA? Same thing with the czars. Pointless, ineffective, and stupid. Sounds like W!

  • OMG, I just realized we don’t have a “Terrorism Czar”!

    WTF is wrong with us???

    On a semi-related note, check out Coleen Rowley as she asks Tenet why some people were tortured when others weren’t even interrogated. It’s a very good question. (note: she is not advocating torture)

    Moussaoui was not tortured however. Nor were “enhanced interrogation techniques” ever used on him. In fact FBI agents could not even get permission to attempt a plain interview of Moussaoui which permission I asked for on 9/11/01 and again on 9/12/01…

    …Nothing changed after Moussaoui’s laptop and personal effects were searched revealing the fact that he had collected data on cropdusting and wind patterns and establishing his connections to the 9-11 masterminds…

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/coleen-rowley/tenets-moment-of-truth-o_b_47431.html

  • Could have hired John “Give me a break” Stossel. He would have insured that the “Market” would have been the most efficient way of regulating food as we all know the market is “perfect” and without flaw.

    Much like pet food. So much for consumer choice is the materials all come from pretty much the same source. To carry on the Simpsons Theme, it reminds me of the ep where Homer and Marge go to a new downtown revitalization and end up at the food court. They order way different food items, but it all comes out of the same trough. Yummmy.

    CB sez: why not use the existing federal bureaucracy, government agencies, and competent officials to do their jobs without creating some new “czar” position?

    Considering how the Bush admin is trying to stack the bureaucracy with loyal Bushies, I guess they wanted somebody competent in charge instead of a Regent grad.

  • Czar’s, Politboro’s. Someone has a Rusky fetish, but they look like they might’ve missed the part about the Bolsheviks.

  • Ironic that “czar” is the Cyrillic rendering of the dictitorial officeholder we now refer to as “Caesar” (very much like “Kaiser” is the German translation of the office).

  • Look – something shiney!!
    Distract the public, let it drop off the media radar, rinse, repeat (for next horror).
    One of the tings Repubs are good at is handling media, hence the governing by photo-op.

    With apologies to Earth Wind & Fire (and eveyone else)
    “You’re a shining czar…”

  • If you want to pad the list, you could include Tom Ridge before DHS was created. Though I think he was called an advisor rather than “czar.” For that matter, National Intelligence Director is the same thing with a different title.

  • It’s all a crock of shit . . .

    We have passed beyond outrage, anger and amusement. There’s nothing left to do except hunker down and wait for him to nuke Iran.

  • If BuzzMon’s going to drop an Earth Wind & Fire reference, I’m going to drop a Sly reference:

    Everybody is a Czar
    That’s what Bush just said on the TV
    Things will stay just as they are
    He’ll keep the heat off the GOP

  • this whole stupid shit started when they dreamed up the department of homeland security in the first place. people in various departments couldn’t do their job, so let’s create another agency, and….. it’s been a freeking mess ever since………

  • The problem isn’t all of the Czars, its the number of Rasputins this administration has.

  • Dajafi (Re #11) –
    I totally agree, but there could be confusion from the Bushbot Base.
    For example – “Why Tsar ’em when we got guns to shoot ’em with (spits tobacco)?

  • I will gladly volunteer to be “Administration Tsar”—and I’m willing to defer to dajafi’s request for “some cool spelling” on this one. As Administration Tsar, my first order of business will be to beat Karl Rove (with a great big chunk of red oak) into a state of comatose incoherence—and then I will tie him down, wrap him up in a staightjacket, and send him off to Alcatraz. Yes—I know that Alcatraz has been long ababdoned—it’s the only safe place in the country where Rove can rant endlessly at the crumbling walls, and do no further damage to the republic, the Constitution, or the People. I’ll give him the presidential; pooch to kick around, though.

    Since we don’t seem to be able to find the stainless steel cojones to impeach Cheney, I’ll put him in a stainless steel room with his shotgun collection. He can shoot the walls in the face all he wants; the ricochets will eventually do him in.

    Then, I will clean house at the WH. All the nasty little vermin will be gone, Tony Snow will be consigned to repeating GOP talking points to a collection of polar bears on the arctic ice-pack (It’s going to be gone by 2020, I understand), and I will expeditiously extradite George-Toria to the Hague.

    Finally, I will summarily fire every last one of these blasted, infernal “Tsars”—including myself. What you people do afterwards is your problem, as I will retire to my tomato plants.

    That is, unless you want to keep all these “czars” that Bu$h has been installing to remove administrative governance from Congressional oversight. remember, czars are not official “officers of the Government,” so—unlike cabinet secretaries—they cannot be impeached….

  • Another effective Bush trick: mismanage and corrupt an agency, until you’re caught. Under the lights of the ensuing scandal, complete the total politicization of said agency by putting in place a “Czar” loyalist to route out the few remaining non-Bushies who haven’t been forced out or resigned, and the institute some “reform”, co-sponsored by Lieberman, which rewrites the regs to retroactively legalize their cronyism.

    This unprecedented Machiavellian cynicism will then be institutionalized by Joe Klein as the way Washington has always worked, with plenty of guilt to spread around, and David Broder, who will mock those partisans who would dare to criticize Bush’s no-nonsense disciplining of the government.

  • I’m terribly sorry; that should have been “abandoned”—but when we’re discussing Bu$h, the “babs thing” just keeps getting in the way….

  • Doesn’t “Czar” imply “thrown out of office and murdered by communists?”

  • Really the biggest tragedy of the Russian Revolution was the decline of food safety.

  • ***We need a lying sonofabitch czar.***
    ———————-gorp

    Actually, there are those who believe that one Karl Rove is enough….

  • So, what’s wrong with “fuhrer?” Or “Duce?” Well, I guess too many disgruntled citizens would start mispronouncing the latter.

  • And as long as we’re on the subject, what’s with all the “czars”? — CB

    A tsar (czar) is an authoritarian figure, not a democratic one, so it fits much better into the picture of US Bu..$hitter wants to paint.

  • I did a list of czars a couple weeks back and came across an Abstinence Czar, Global Democracy Czar and threw in the now defunct Porn Czar the state of Utah blew several hundred thousand dollars on a couple years ago. No Czar list is ever complete without the Porn Czar.

  • I think the next president should fire everyone whose title is “Czar”. Their whole purpose seems to be to cover up the shit-tacular job the department they’re overseeing is doing.

  • My thanks to Martin # 2 —

    Like any professional, I stole the “czar czar” line and used it in a letter to the editor of my local newspaper. It was a nice setup for my crack about the Bush administration being a Monty Python sketch. They called to accept the letter, but I know they’ll drop the “Monty Python” part. They loved “czar czar.”

  • You forgot a few on your list: The Presidential czar and the VP czar. Oh, and the Chief Advisor czar.

  • Isn’t it obvious?

    Republicans have a disturbing fetish for authority figures.
    They don’t trust and are unable to comprehend the concept that people can organize and come up with workable solutions to difficult problems.
    If something is wrong, they rush to the idea that if there is a problem, what is needed is a strong, preferably male, authority figure to whip the rest of us into shape.
    It’s a daddy-complex, pure and simple.

    Replace ‘czar’ with daddy.

    war czar = war daddy
    recovery czar = recovery daddy
    drug cazr = drug daddy
    manufacturing czar = manufacturing daddy
    privacy czar = privacy daddy
    regulatory czar = regulatory daddy
    food safety czar = food safety daddy

  • Food safety Czar, hmm.

    So, is the guy under him who is responsible for fish safety the Czardine?

  • White House Seeks Lying Czar
    New office would coordinate distortions about Iraq, Afghanistan.
    By Andy Borowitz
    Newsweek
    Updated: 9:47 a.m. PT May 1, 2007

    May 1, 2007 – The White House in recent weeks has been quietly searching for candidates for the position of “lying czar,” a high-level administrator who would oversee all distortions and misrepresentations about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, a White House source confirmed today.

    News of the administration’s search for a lying czar raised eyebrows in official Washington, where many insiders believe that the White House already has enough personnel to handle the creation and dissemination of war-related lies.

    More (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18418455/site/newsweek/?nav=slate?from=rss)

  • Do these shitheads know why there are no longer any Czars in Russia? You’d think Rice might have said something but then, that requires us to assume she knows shit about the Soviet Union.

    Oh well, Tsar n’ feather the lot of ’em, I say!

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