I keep hoping someone will talk to the Republican base and force them to write, “I will stop giving Michael Moore free publicity” 100 times on the chalkboard. They clearly don’t understand that their anti-Moore efforts always — always — backfire.
The latest GOP effort is a call to arrest Moore for offering free underwear to college students to encourage them to vote.
The Michigan Republican Party is asking four county prosecutors to file charges against filmmaker Michael Moore, charging that he illegally offered underwear, noodles and snacks to college students in exchange for their promise to vote.
“We want everyone to participate in this year’s election, but not because they were bribed or coerced by the likes of Michael Moore,” said Greg McNeilly, executive director of the state Republican Party.
Good heavens, these people are dumb.
Naturally, it’s giving Moore yet another platform.
“It’s ironic that Republicans have no problem with allowing assault weapons out on our streets, yet they don’t want to put clean underwear in the hands of our slacker youth,” Moore said. “The Republicans seem more interested in locking me up for trying to encourage people to participate in our democracy than locking up bin Laden for his attacks on our democracy.”
The Michigan GOP insists Moore is trying to “bribe” people, which is tantamount to election tampering. They clearly have no idea what they’re talking about.
Moore is touring the country and imploring “slackers” who usually don’t vote to head to the polls this year, saying they could make the difference in the presidential race.
During each program, habitual nonvoters are invited on stage to pledge to vote. First-time student voters are offered gag prizes such as clean underwear.
It’s as if Moore’s most ardent foes are secretly trying to help him get publicity, fame, and notoriety. This latest foolishness just gives Moore a chance to say things like this:
My friends, they will not catch me. Though I may be on the run, and I may never be able to return home to my beloved Michigan, I make this solemn vow to you and yours: The slackers of America shall not be denied their noodles, they will proudly wear their clean underwear as free Americans, and they will vote Bush out of office come November 2nd (though they will not show up to the polls until well after noon)!
Stay strong, stay slacker, and please remember to turn the underwear inside out every three days. As for the noodles, add boiling water, stir.
Will the GOP ever learn?