McCain ‘promises’ to get bin Laden — with ‘people who can swim in the water’

June 14, 2008

I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen a presidential candidate who tries this hard not to be taken seriously.

“I will look you in the eye and promise you that I will get Osama bin Laden and bring him to justice,” McCain said in response to a direct question from one of the 2,000 people in attendance at the college’s Pemberton campus gym.

McCain said the key to ending the long search for bin Laden was to increase the number of human spies abroad.

“We need better human intelligence. We need people who can swim in the water,” McCain said.

I see. First, I’m pretty sure that plenty of Americans, both in the military and in intelligence gathering, have learned to “swim in the water.”

Second, if reports are accurate, bin Laden is in the mountains between Pakistan and Afghanistan. As far as I can tell, there are very few bodies of water, so swimming spies may have limited value.

But on a more serious point, McCain has talked about his intentions to get bin Laden before. In fact, in January, McCain hinted that he has a secret plan to attack to al Qaeda leader, telling reporters, “One thing I will not do is telegraph my punches. Osama bin Laden will be the last to know.”

One of the more frustrating things about listening to George W. Bush talk has always been the ways in which he sounded like an uninformed child. I’m afraid John McCain is quickly approaching the same level.

How on earth can McCain “promise” to get bin Laden? He claims to have a plan to do so, but he won’t tell anyone what it is.

That may sound reasonable, just so long as you don’t think about it too much. McCain could, for example, share his secret plan with the White House, so it could be implemented now and the al Qaeda leader could be brought to justice before he can launch additional attacks, but McCain doesn’t want to.

I’m curious, how dumb does John McCain think we are?

McCain added that he has his “own ideas” about capturing bin Laden, but it would “require implementation of certain policies and procedures that only as the president of the United States can be taken.”

But if there are “certain policies and procedures” that could lead to OBL’s capture, and a president could implement those policies and procedures now, why wouldn’t McCain stop by the Oval Office for a chat with the Commander in Chief about how best to proceed?

By McCain’s own reasoning, it sounds like he’d rather let bin Laden remain free for another seven months, until McCain and his “own ideas” can get to work. And then McCain can deliver on his “promise,” by utilizing “people who can swim in the water.”

The mind reels.

As you noted in your previous post . . . “But all voters are not rational. People who are barely keeping their heads above water are quite capable of basing their vote on flag pins or an internet rumor that Obama is really a Muslim.”

  • I’m assuming people who can swim in the water is a metaphor for those who can successfully go undercover and track Osama locally? Not that we have many of those people since the Bush administration has been extremely suspicious of anyone who knows or wants to learn an “enemy” language.

  • McBaffoon should be put into a straight jacket, strapped to a DUNKING MACHINE, and then hold one of his ‘town hall’ meetings for all to throw the balls of derision at this fucking idiot ..

  • I have to believe that it wasn’t meant to be taken literally. Rather, I imagine it was a metaphor for people who can travel freely throughout the region without being too obvious.

  • “I’m curious, how dumb does John McCain think we are?”

    A cornerstone of rethugnican politics has been relying upon the stupidity of the American public to vote against their own economic interests and to be continuously more swayed by ‘character’ than policies.

    Why should the repugs change their tune now?

  • Damn how dense is the headline writer. It is a metaphor. He is not actually talking about people who can literally swim in the water.

  • It really isn’t that difficult to understand McCain. He will follow Bin Laden to the gates of hell, then have his lobbyists dive into the river Styx … OK maybe I got too much time on my hands.

  • Yeah, really, Steve. It’s a metaphor. Please apply some of that “analysis” you claim in this blog’s subtitle…

    This reminds me of the tsunami of mockery around Stevens’ “tubes” comment. Metaphorically, the Internet *is* a series of tubes, and the tubes can get clogged. The best evidence of this is that people now regularly describe netlag as “the tubes are clogged.” However much you may despise a person’s position on the issues, please don’t deny him the use of one of the most fundamental features of human language.

    By the way, just to be clear, in the previous paragraph, “tsunami” was a metaphor. As were “position” and “fundamental,” once upon a time.

  • Is this a way of distancing himself from President* Bush? is he saying that his ideas are being ignored by the White House?

    Vice President* Cheney has been banging on about HUMINT forever, and I don’t see much progress on that front. I mean just look at the innumerable watchlists that our multifarious DHS agencies produce. If we make anyone with a funny name or an accent a potential terrorist, how likely is it that we are going to be able to trust someone who could swim in waters anywhere near al-Qaeda? We can’t even recruit enough fluent Arabic speakers (and demonize those who point out that our approach might not be optimal).

  • Just Maybe? This is dog whistle CIA analogy for folks who know the territory. Just sayin – even though I truly believe this man is completely out of touch.

  • Who says Bin Laden is still alive? Former prime minister Benazir Bhutto of Pakistan was quoted as saying in an interview with David Frost, “Omar Sheikh, the man who murdered Osama Bin Laden,…..” Here is the short clip (quote at 2:10): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UnychOXj9Tg

    Here is the full interview: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oIO8B6fpFSQ

    It absolutely blows my mind that no follow-up question was asked after this statement, it was never discussed in the American media, and coincidentally she was assassinated a few weeks later.

  • It is with a gleeful amount of humor that I note those who criticize Mr. Benen’s failure to recognize a metaphor—while at the same time rejecting the metaphorical retort offered by Mr. Benen in opposition to the silliness of the “McMetaphor.”

    Case in point—we have “human intel” in the Paki mountains. Who do you think is pinpointing the aerial-strike targets—mountain goats?

    Case in point—we have “human intel” that’s been ignored by the Bush/McMini-Bush consortium for a number of years now.

    Case in point—McSilly-Place saying that he has “a secret plan” is clearly little more than political hay-making, because if anyone in the intel community believed any of his pompous pontificating, he’d have been hauled before a number of inquiries by now on the grounds of withholding evidence and “giving aid and comfort to the enemy.”

    Does America really need another profiteering, fear-mongering, terrorist-coddling Republican president who “gives aid and comfort to the enemy?” I should think not….

  • The best evidence of this is that people now regularly describe netlag as “the tubes are clogged.”

    circular reasoning: see reasoning, circular

    The only reason “the tubes are clogged” has gained any currency at all is as a way to make fun of the people who think the Internet is a series of tubes. It’s a post-ironic comment, not an endorsement of the metaphor. Or do you also think that everyone believes the definite article in English is shifting from “the” to “teh” when used for emphasis?

  • > it’s a post-ironic comment, not an endorsement of the metaphor

    Strangely enough, it’s both. Aren’t humans fascinating?

  • “Swim in the water” is a reference to Mao’s aphorism that guerrillas “swim among the sea of the peasantry.” See here.

    It was also famously applied to the Viet Cong, which may be where McCain learned of it.

    It’s called Google, you know. And you don’t even need to know it’s from Mao to find it, although the references are better if you do.

  • Of course the really stupid part about this is that we have so few intel agents who could hide among the people because we purge or reject everyone who has such skills for being gay, or Arab, or foreign born of some sort, or liberal, or whatever, and then we send people in who are so clearly fish our of water that they can’t find the target. And McCain has nothing to say about that.

  • What is McCain going to do? Dig up the body of Bin Laden which is currently buried in the mountains of SW Afghanistan? Osama Bin Laden (OBL) passed away of natural causes back in December, 2001. Go to http://www.whatreallyhappened.com and check out the faked videos. Probably, most of the OBL tapes, audio and video, have been made in the USA, since he passed away. The most recent videos are a joke. But the Bush regime and our ever-bright corporate propaganda media keep propping up the body: it’s Weekend at Binnies…

  • I seem to remember that Nixon had a secret plan to win another war in Southeast Asia. He didn’t tell anyone about it either. Anyone remember how that worked out?

  • There certainly are quite a few posters today who can’t take a joke from Steve.

    Or is it more that when a Republican says something that can be made fun of, it isn’t funny; and when a Democrat says something you can have fun with, and if it doesn’t quite fit, you distort the words until you can turn it into an outrage.

    Gore inventing the internet, which he never said.
    Kerry not being a war hero, according to the Swift boaters.
    Edwards’ haircut, as if that matters
    Hillary’s ‘cackle’ and ‘cleavage’
    Obama being a muslim
    etc…

    Those are are very serious, if you listen to most Republicans. How shallow they are. Then again… nothing new in that department. It’s all they have left.

  • McCain your a liar and I’ll look you straight in the eye and call you one.

    ““I will look you in the eye and promise you that I will get Osama bin Laden and bring him to justice,” McCain said in response to a direct question …”

    He “knows” OBL is dead and has been for years. A fugitive on dialysis…give me a break. Google it and see the available information and statements and use some critical thinking.
    OBL is dead and McCain knows this so he knows he’s lying with his “look you in the eye” crap. What a sociopath. Can you look me in the eye and tell me you weren’t responsible for burning alive all those sailors on the USS Forestal? You lying bastard. God, you are just like Bush.

  • Wrong. Osama will live as long as Bush and McCain can keep him alive. The fundamental rule of GWOT is that it cannot end under any circumstance. If bin Laden were proved to be dead, all the arguments would suddenly be moot. Homeland Suckurity would seem strangely irrelevant. Worst of all, McCain’s entire campaign platform of continuing all things Bush would seem as old as McCain himself.

    They need another good 20 years of the mystery of OBL, then the kids who grew up under GWOT will think it seems normal.

  • Unfortunately we’ve only got people who can pee in the water.

    McCain’s secret plan is already in action. He placed a copy of the koran under a box that is propped up with a stick. A string runs from the stick to the bushes where John waits to tricker the trap when Osama comes to get the book. Or is it the wascablly wabbit he’s trying to catch.

  • Captain Kirk is right. The Undead Hero has worked so well for Chrisitans they’re applying it to GWOT

  • Steve said:
    Case in point—we have “human intel” in the Paki mountains. Who do you think is pinpointing the aerial-strike targets—mountain goats?

    Since the last strike killed 11 Pakistani troops, maybe the goats could do a better job. Glub. Glub.

  • Shalimar #2: “…people who can swim in the water is a metaphor for those who can successfully go undercover…”

    Don’t overlook the obvious. Can we be positive that bin Laden isn’t hiding in a high-tech aquabunker?

  • No, but we can be positive that McCain wouldn’t be in the intel loop to even know if Osama was hiding in a high-tech aquabunker. I doubt even this incompetent administration would trust the old man not to blurt it out in a fit of rage when someone questioned his “secret plan.”

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  • “I’m curious, how dumb does John McCain think we are?”

    Well, there is a precedence here. Americans voted Bush in *twice*, went to war based on not only patently false, but illogical arguements. The VP can shoot someone in the face, have the victim publicly apologise and few think that is odd. The list goes on.

    So umm… in answer the rhetorical, i would say ‘Very, very dumb.’

  • Today Geroge W Bush as said he wants to get Osama before he leaves office in January. If he does that means he could have gotten him whenever he wanted. I always figured Osama was worth more alive than dead to Bush. He needed a monster under the bed.

    Impeach Bush

  • A Secret Plan to get Bin Laden? Reminds me of Nixon’s “secret plan” to end the Vietnam war. Of course,we later learned that there never was such a plan. Apparently, Republicans haven’t learned any new tricks in a long time.

  • I could promise to get Bin Laden.

    Lessee… a nuclear warhead has a pretty reliable kill radius of 10 miles, Afghanistan an Pakistan have a square mile area of….

    I mean, if you don’t mind collateral; damage there and all the countries the fallout would land on… China will be a “partner against terror”, right?

    As for people who can “swim in the water”…
    Would he be willing to start with gays who speak Arabic? I know a few who were laid off recently by a guy he knows….

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