Memo to Tom DeLay: Jesus wants you to work in a soup kitchen

April 8, 2006

Guest Post by Morbo

The national disgrace that is Tom DeLay is awfully interested in religion lately, as the Carpetbagger has noted.

OK, Tom, you want the redemption your faith promises? Earn it.

I have a model for you: In 1963, a British politician named John D. “Jack” Profumo became embroiled in a scandal when it was revealed that he was having sexual relations with a young woman who was also seeing a Russian diplomat widely acknowledged to be a spy. (The incident was dramatized in the excellent 1989 film “Scandal” starring Ian McKellen as Profumo.)

At first, Profumo denied he was involved with the young woman. But as the evidence mounted, he admitted the affair and resigned his position as secretary of state for war. The scandal rocked the conservative government, leading to the downfall of Prime Minister Harold Macmillan.

What Profumo did after his resignation is interesting. Unlike the young woman he had been involved with, Profumo didn’t write a book or try to capitalize on his behavior in any way. He maintained a public silence and went to work at a soup kitchen called Toynbee Hall, in London’s gritty East End. (His wife stayed with him and also devoted herself to charitable work.) Eventually, Profumo became the chief fund-raiser for Toynbee Hall. His contacts brought in millions. Independently wealthy, Profumo never accepted a salary from Toynbee.

Profumo died on March 9. Of course the obituaries mentioned the scandal, but all went on to say that Profumo had earned redemption. He was lauded for his service to society. Francis Aungier Pakenham, 7th Earl of Longford and a well known social reformer who died in 2001, once remarked that he “felt more admiration [for Profumo] than [for] all the men I’ve known in my lifetime.”

There are second acts in American life. But you have to earn them.

DeLay claims to be a religious man, a serious Christian. I have my doubts about that, but I challenge him to prove me wrong. Do what Jesus would do: Spend the rest of your life atoning for your sins by serving the poor. Don’t write a book. Don’t become a “consultant” for the Fox News Channel. Do not troll the halls of Congress as a lobbyist. In short, shut your trap, roll up your sleeves and get to work.

What the chances this will happen? About the same as George W. Bush getting an earned doctorate in “nukyular” physics from Yale. After all, DeLay still insists he did nothing wrong. It was all a frame-up by the left, correct?

There is hope for DeLay’s redemption. But the first step, which I doubt he’ll ever take, is for him to admit he was wrong. Since he can’t take the first step, DeLay will never pull off the second: actually emulating the founder of the religion DeLay claims to cherish so much.

Some day, two millennia from now, it will be discovered that DeLay, much like Judas, “took the hit” so Shrubie could be released from his current life.

Sorry, there’s no way I can make that joke work. I’m sure Bush won’t like the next three years, now that people like Harry Taylor have found the courage to make other Republicans laugh at the Regal Moron. But to simply resign would be too, too Mixon. And Impeachment would be too, too embarrassing for Poppy and Babs and the other three people who care about him. What to do? What to do?

  • If Jimmy Carter—being a former President who has absolutely nothing to atone for—can roll up his sleeves and build houses for Habitat, then Tommie DeLay ought to be able to do the same thing. Unless, of course, this “gentleman of the South” can admit to the world that he has no honor.

  • I’v long maintained that all US presidents (including Carter [see East Timor] should shave their heads and spend the rest of their lives attoning for their sins. They all claim to be Christian, but never say they are sorry. Yes, I would love to see Tom Delay truly repent (or better yet, renounce Christianity) but I think the best we could hope for is to pull a Chuck Colson and do some marginally good work while still supporting the beast.

  • Tom will very likely have to look for something to do other than work in the conservative movement. Last night David Brooks was on “All Things Considered”. When he was asked about DeLay’s stated desire to continue on in the service of conservatism al la Newt, Brooks responded that DeLay was a “machine hack” and not an idea man like Newt, hence it was unlikely that he could contribute to the movement without his machine. Brooks typically is an outlet for administration spin. I’d say this signals the abandonment of DeLay by the Republicans.

    Ed, if you are looking for a Judas joke you may find the seeds of one in this post from the Gadflyer,

    Human Events has printed the transcript of a conversation Tom DeLay had yesterday with conservative journalists. Among other things, DeLay told them that he has voluntarily cooperated with the Justice Department corruption investigation, and that last December he turned over all materials in his possession that he thought were relevant to the investigation.

    How did he determine what was relevant, he was asked.

    He replied: “Anything connected to Tony Rudy or Ed Buckham or [Jack] Abramoff or [Michael] Scanlon.”

    Let’s forget for a minute that DeLay turned on Abramoff, one of his “closest and dearest friends,” or on any of his three former close aides, two of whom pled guilty after DeLay he turned over his materials to prosecutors. Buckham, who was identified as “Lobbyist B” in Rudy’s plea agreement last week, was DeLay’s pastor, and the pair “shared a bond that transcended power and politics.”

    So DeLay complained last week that the government’s investigation of him represented persecution of Christians, yet he voluntarily turned over information implicating his pastor in criminal activity to prosecutors. Jesus

  • Tom Delay has no reason to consider the penitent life after Congress because the genius of his brand of Christianity is belief that greed is good. Good for Jesus, good for the country and, happily, very good for him. The ends (making this a Christian country by his definition) justifies the means (ruthless grasping for power and disenfranchisement of his godless opponents). And if you have to de-stress by living luxuriously and golfing for free in Scotland, well, the Lord’s work is hard and Jesus understands and forgives. That explains why some fundie leader (can’t remember which) consoled Tom after his resignation with uplifting news to the effect that great things happen after a crucifixion. Our St. Tom will rise again, this time as a well paid political advisor or Lobbyist for the Lord, for which he will be greatly rewarded in this life. God works in mysterious ways through the Republican party and American corporations. But these ways are not mysteries to Delay.

  • Frak, what a contrast between the “Christian” beliefs of greedy people like Delay and saintly people like Francis of Assisi. Hard to imagine the definition of a word which could encompass both of them.

    rege, good suggestion. “… and the pair shared a bond that transcended power and politics.” Strange, I can’t imagine Tom DeLay ever saying “I just can’t quit you” about anybody, even Ed Buckham.

  • The Washington Post has a piece today about DeLay’s work with a home for foster children in Texas. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/04/08/AR2006040800917.html

    The project reflects his anti-govenment, pro-fundamentalist Christian views, but it does appear to be something he sincerely believes in. Great. This means DeLay already has a public-service to which he can devote the rest of his life. Get out Washington, Tom. Go help the foster kids full time. They need you.

  • Tommy is not doing the “THANK YA JEEEEEZZZZZZUSSSSS” shtick because he is religious…He is playing to twelve very important people in the State of Texas. I guarentee you that every jurror in his criminal trial will be christian! The more he pumps up his Christofascist bona fides the more sympathy he will generate with that tribe and quite possiblly get off.

  • Tommy is forming a new national organisation….Criminals for Jesus….We break the law for God!

  • Sugarland wants criminals in their District Congress, that is why they voted for him in primary, the money can be laundered and split with local voters and the rest of American can go down tubes, since he resigned why don’t residents go to jails and recruit new Candidate with Money laundering backgroun on their resume……….if they want a money laundering Congressman that bad they can just recruit from jail cells!

    Republican Party for jail house money laundering Congressman to represent Sugarland and bring sweet deals and bring home the Sugar Daddy/Momma for sugar voters in Sugarland – they can pass laws to steal money from other United States citizens and funnel money to their voters! A whole criminal enterprise!

    Here is part of Network!

    *Abramoff/DeLay/Russia! (the Communist/Republican party) http://www.tpmmuckraker.com/archives/000182.php

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