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Methinks the McCain blogger doth protest too much

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When the McCain campaign unveiled its now-infamous Spears/Hilton ad, the NYT’s editorial board, like every other sensible political observer, criticized it. Michael Goldfarb, McCain’s official in-house blogger, responded by comparing the Times’ editors to “the average Daily Kos diarist sitting at home in his mother’s basement and ranting into the ether between games of Dungeons & Dragons.”

This week

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, Goldfarb went back to the well.

It may be typical of the pro-Obama Dungeons & Dragons crowd to disparage a fellow countryman’s memory of war from the comfort of mom’s basement, but most Americans have the humility and gratitude to respect and learn from the memories of men who suffered on behalf of others.

After the first insulting comment, Goldfarb backed away, while sticking to the vernacular: “If my comments caused any harm or hurt to the hard working Americans who play Dungeons & Dragons, I apologize. This campaign is committed to increasing the strength, constitution, dexterity, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma scores of every American.”

This led my friend Adam Serwer to raise an excellent point.

That’s the kind of deep

, personal animosity that you associate with experience, which clearly Goldfarb has. It’s not hard to imagine that some basement somewhere holds the abandoned d20s, dusty rulebooks, and broken heart of a young Michael Goldfarb who never got to be Dungeon Master because he wouldn’t stop yelling. In fact, it’s hard not to wonder if, when Michael Goldfarb is berating the D&D players of the world, he’s really just berating Michael Goldfarb.

Ta-Nehisi Coates added, “[W]e often are what we hate. Goldfarb remark smacks of a geek trying to get down by slamming other geeks.”

The good news is

buy kamagra 100mg

, the “Pro-Obama Dungeons and Dragons crowd” is apparently getting organized. I can’t help but wonder if the McCain campaign has inadvertently woken an angry nerd army….

Comments

  • Gridlock

    says:

    It seems to me that Mr. Goldfarb is typical of the pro-McCain Axis & Allies crowd who like to promote their candidates “memories of war” as reason to lead the country, while they sit in their comfortable La-Z-Boy, watching Fox News, while never having served in the armed forces themselves.

  • Former Dan

    says:

    Those D20 savings roles won’t help you now, Goldfarb!

    Most of who played DnD never based our lives on it and only remember it fondly. It’s too bad that the NeoCons (of which Goldfarb is one) still based their ideas about the military and foreign policy on the Game of Risk. Rolling triple Sixes won’t help you out of that mess.

  • Katie Chop

    says:

    In response to Former Dan (#3):

    Yes, but realize, neither Napoleon or Hitler played Risk as a kid and look at what happened: They went into Russia, got too cold, and ran away. At least McCain might have played Risk, so he’s already half a step above Napoleon and Hitler.

  • Surly Duff

    says:

    Leave the Goldfarb bashing to the professionals…military professionals.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-mackey/cloak-of-stupidity-5-or-t_b_120051.html

    I’m sorry, but if there is a better take-down of Goldfarb’s idiocy, I can’t find it.

    From Former LTC Mackey:
    Yes, Mr. Goldfarb, I play Dungeons and Dragons. And I have, in my home, a very large box filled with medals and decorations that prove my service to this nation. Where were you, sir, when your country called? Oh yes, writing for the Weekly Standard.

    While gaming geeks rallied around the flag.

  • PJ

    says:

    For many of McCain’s generation, D&D still has satanist overtones. It was the Harry Potter of my teen years. I wasn’t allowed to play because of all the blather on the local TV news about D&D players being devil worshipers. So talking about D&D does double duty for these guys, not unlike the ‘Moses’ ad with imagery that looks amusing to most of us but, to the initiated, suggests that Obama is the antichrist.

  • Mark D

    says:

    To be fair, it’s “geeks,” not “nerds.” The latter died out in the late 90s as the Internet grew in popularity and allowed millions to celebrate their geekitude.

    And I post this PSA in the guise of a not-very-frequent contributor to Wired’s GeekDad blog, so I know that of which I speak.

    Thanks.

    🙂

  • scott_m

    says:

    It could be aruged that McCain’s entire case of being superior to Obama is that McCain’s Paladin past has accrued him more Experience Points.

  • Prup (aka Jim Benton)

    says:

    Actually, it’s the Republications who play “D&D Politics” (with sinister enemies popping out, word-magic (spells), and fighting all the time.

    We Democrats are learning to play CIVILIZATION II, which means you pay attention to welfare (happiness) resources, scientific and technological advances and the military all at once. It’s a harder game, but a LOT more fun, and a much better analogy.

    (And yes, it’s one I stil play often.)

  • doubtful

    says:

    scott_m,

    Upon further inspection, looks like they amended the 4th edition to allow for paladins of various alignments. Guess it’s been a while for me.

    But, in my defense, McCain most certainly doesn’t play the 4th edition. You know he’s got a dusty, musty 1st in his basement.

  • TheSpiceMustFlow

    says:

    You know what, fuck this guy. I like Dungeons and Dragons and I moved out of my mom’s basement ages ago!

  • Scott F

    says:

    The similarities to high school and the McCain campaign are obvious. I’ve had enough of the smirk and jerk crowd myself. Hope I didn’t reveal anything to personal and my high school experience.

  • slappy magoo

    says:

    OK, D&D comments aside, WTF is this about?

    “It may be typical of the pro-Obama Dungeons & Dragons crowd to disparage a fellow countryman’s memory of war from the comfort of mom’s basement, but most Americans have the humility and gratitude to respect and learn from the memories of men who suffered on behalf of others.”

    To me, this translates into “Who cares if his memory is hazy? We should respect the man and his agenda…which is derived in part on his experiences…which means they’re derived from his memories…which are hazy.”

    Sure-as-rootin’-tootin’shit, if McCain’s going to bring up his history to justify his opinions, and then it turns out his opinions are not based on anything that actually, you know, HAPPENED, Americans should be bithcing about no matter where they live (OR their parents’).

    P.S.: Goldfarb? Our shitty underfunded understaffed VA hospitals are filled with soldiers “who suffered on behalf of others.” When are you going to respect them by demanding this Administration start giving them top-notch care instead of a metaphorical boot to the head? Unless of course, any of them ever played D&D in their parents’ basement, in which case, I guess you would think they’re getting what they deserve. More ’tis the pity.

  • IludiumPhosdex

    says:

    Moving from the sublime to the ridiculous, it’s emerged that the McCain campaign is $6 million in arrears for July (spending $32 million against $26 million raised in donations, mostly from “the Four Hundred”).

    And talk about machismo going too far, as deflated by Susan Test….

  • JWK

    says:

    Actually, Goldflab is probably jealous because, as anyone knows, those with a background in D&D are well placed in the truly creative industries (and not employted as some political shill). The current spate of highly successful Hollywood Superhero films have on their creative teams former and current D&D players. Many popular authors, likewise, have dabbled in the game.

    Lastly, I know personally a few strong Republican D&D gamers who might take offense. D&D knows no political boundaries. Goldflab might take note of that.

  • JRD

    says:

    “Upon further inspection, looks like they amended the 4th edition to allow for paladins of various alignments. ”

    What? That is ridiculous. I haven’t actually played since 3.0, but I flipped through the 4th Ed book about a month ago and while I generally liked it, I thought they’d watered down the alignment system too much. Removing the alignment restriction on paladins is just further evidence of that. While I can understand the desire to avoid the constraining effects on creative roleplaying that the rigid alignment system arguably creates, the idea of a chaotic neutral (or “unaligned,” as the kids are apparently calling it these days) paladin is just nuts.

  • The Answer is Orange

    says:

    If my comments caused any harm or hurt to the hard working Americans who play Dungeons & Dragons, I apologize.

    Well, he’s mastered the art of the non-apology apology. “IF”? Please, the phones rang off the hook, some Marines threatened to come give him a swirly and now he’s hiding in mom’s basement.

    This campaign is committed to increasing the strength, constitution, dexterity, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma scores of every American.

    Aww cute. Pity your guy is hanging out with the same folks who told us D&D would make kids worship Satan and do nasty things with barnyard animals.

  • st john

    says:

    This Goldfarb is an embarrassment to anyone he backs. If I were McCain, I’d distance myself from his ilk as fast as possible, like he did Hagee (not). What has Goldfarb contributed? Hate and judgment, splattered across the tubes with apparent disregard for the feelings of others. Projection of his own severe inadequacies, I’d guess, but then I’d be judging. I wonder how Pastor Warren would counsel such over the top disparagements of another.

    I am committed to Oneness through Justice and Transformation.
    peace,
    st john

  • joyzeeboy

    says:

    Referenced to D&D, A&A, CIV2, Dune (an other greate multi-player game!)

    I am having a war-gasim!

  • Rabi

    says:

    The funny part about this isn’t that the guy made fun of D&D players and accused Democratic bloggers of all being nerds. What’s funny is that he actually caved in and apologized for making fun of D&D players. That is just gold.

  • Keori

    says:

    And the geeks have united!!!

    http://my.barackobama.com/page/group/Pro-ObamaDungeonsDragonsCrowd

    I and six other successful college grads who make over $75K/year and own our own homes get together every other Saturday and play 4th edition. My piddly level 1 rogue’s double-handed dagger basic attack could level Mike Goldfarb even if he had better initiative and a higher armor class.

    What’s more amusing is that we six met in military AIT and became successful NCOs. This was, of course, after playing D&D, Shadowrun, and WOD in the day room every week. I dare Mike Goldfarb to look at any of our service records and call us cowards.

  • JJR

    says:

    “…McCain also promises +5 armor in every American family’s bag of holding.”

    Funny thread, thanks.

  • T-Rex

    says:

    Goldfarb, please, please insult War Hammer next! I can’t think of a better way to mobilize a passionate youth vote.

  • searcy

    says:

    Keori,

    The fact that you have served your country honorably does not exempt you from being called a coward by the GOP mouthpieces. Those who served and who are not die-hard Republicans must be traitors. Sorry to break it to you.

  • libra

    says:

    […] most Americans have the humility and gratitude to respect and learn from the memories of men who suffered on behalf of others. — M. Goldfarb

    Eh? I’m supposed to be learning something from Solzhenitsyn’s gulag memories? Like what? That if McPOW takes over, we all might end up in similar re-education camps, on equally flimsy bases, and we should prepare ourselves for the possibility?

  • Equal Opportunity Cynic

    says:

    I always thought it was obvious that the D&D comments were just practicing the great art of projection. I figure the 101st Chairborne is sitting out there somewhere reading those comments and thinking, “Oooh, let ’em have it, Goldfarb! Dungeons and Dragons, that’s a good one!” and using it to distract from their own feelings of cowardice because they know that they’d never be bothered to serve in one of these reckless wars they advocate.

  • Keori

    says:

    Searcy,

    After some more thought, I realized you’re right. I’m not only a registered Dem, I’m a gay veteran. Ergo, I’m not just a coward, I’m a traitor and a pedophile, and a threat to our nation’s infrastructure. Silly me to think I could smash Michael Goldfarb so hard he’d have to roll a luck check to see if there enough identifiable pieces left to bury.

  • Lance

    says:

    This takes me back to my teenage years when my Dad took me to a local meeting of the Virginia Republican party caucus to select candidates for state offices.

    One character (I use the term advisedly) wanted the nomination as Attorney General to pursue his crusade (again, advisedly) against D&D, which he credited with the accidental death/suicide of a young man who strangled to death while self aphixiating while masturbating (not something I suggest you try). Other than his D&D gaming group this young unfortunates only “friend” was apparently this same character running for Attorney General (he had run early for the nomination for delegate and failed there too).

    It occured to me later that the character might have better focused on why a teenager’s only “friend” was a middle aged man.

    I’ve always wanted to point out to morons like that the fact that even if you collected all the ingrediants listed, chanted the words required, and made the passes and gestures necessary, none of the spells from the D&D spell books are going to work because…

    …MAGIC ISN’T REAL YOU IDIOTS!

  • Lance

    says:

    Georgette Orwell said: “On Politico: McCain calls lobbyists ‘birds of prey’”

    Really? Is that supposed to be a critism, because most birds of prey are pretty impressive creatures. Constant companions of nobility and all that.

    Vultures now. They have a rotten reputation, though really, an important part of the ecosystem.

    Then again, for all we know McC*nt means a Romulian ‘Bird of Prey’.

  • NonyNony

    says:

    I’ve always wanted to point out to morons like that the fact that even if you collected all the ingrediants listed, chanted the words required, and made the passes and gestures necessary, none of the spells from the D&D spell books are going to work because…

    …MAGIC ISN’T REAL YOU IDIOTS!

    Most of the ingredients listed are inside jokes, and the books don’t give words or gestures anyway. I remember the outrage from the 80s and it always made me think “What the hell?” Anyone who had even bothered to crack one of the books would know that they resembled algebra textbooks more than any kind of “magical” spellbook. (In retrospect it really is amazing that a group of fools like Pat Robertson could turn sitting around a dining room table pretending to kill orcs by rolling dice into some kind of symbol of rebellion. If those guys didn’t exist, Gary Gygax would have had to pay them….)

    Anyway – Goldfarb’s jab at the D&D crowd is just stupid. Gaming cuts across politics, and there are a lot of gamers who are conservative (generally of the libertarian or maybe “glibertarian” bent). There are also a lot of gamers who are military. Using D&D as short hand for nerd bait is just sad.

  • Karine Chang

    says:

    What Media will not tell you about John McCain
    John McCain?
    http://www.gabrielbraun.com/2008/08/what-media-will-not-tell-you-about-john.html

    This is an assessment of John McCain preparation and experience to be President and Commander-in-Chief prior to his political career. A discussion of his Commander-in-Chief qualification has been taboo in the media. Yet, he can still assert that this is his advantage over Obama. I would hope that John McCain or his people would share with us the aspects of his military career that provides viable experience for the role of Commander-in-Chief. The charges of elitism leveled at Obama are a truly reflected in John McCain’s life. Elitism and privilege have been the cornerstones of his life journey, certainly not character, intellect and merit.

  • JRD

    says:

    Most of the guys I played D&D with in college are Republicans or Libertarians. I should email them this blog entry just to steal a few votes from McCain.

  • Hermione_Granger

    says:

    It really doesn’t take much to set off the geek communities of Slashdot, Digg, Fark, Something Awful and the like – God help any candidate who is dumb enough to piss them off enough to the point where those communities organize against him.

  • skippy

    says:

    well, i was going to say that dungeons and dragons is so 20 years ago, but after reading this thread, it’s obvious that i’m the one who’s so 20 years ago.

  • Tom Cleaver

    says:

    Can’t some really good hacker take down Goldfarb’s blog and send soemthing through the wires so that when he sits down at his computer next time it zaps him and burns down mom’s basement (where he probably really does work)

    Does anyone know if Mr. Goldfarb is old enough to shave regularly?

  • Charliet

    says:

    You know, I’m getting the distinct impression Goldfarb and his minions are the one’s living in Mom’s basement, playing DnD and wanking off at unhealthy frequenies. Fantasy/ignorance seems to be the cornerstone of their being.

  • Steve

    says:

    OK, D&D comments aside, WTF is this about?

    Slappy, it’s about a guy named GoldFart who, once upon a time in mommie’s basement, a long time ago, in a faraway version of reality only a Republican can imagine, tried playing Pong by himself—and lost, not knowing that the game required two thinking players (two more than was present at the time), or that he had to put a coin in the coin-slot (he stole it from a bar because he was too lazy to earn the money to buy the thing himself), or that he first had to plug the game in (some fools still don’t understand what that “pronged-thingie” at the end of the “leash” really is)….

  • toowearyforoutrage

    says:

    This campaign is committed to increasing the strength, constitution, dexterity, intelligence, wisdom, and charisma scores of every American.”

    Given the “celebrity” meme, I don’t think they’re sincere when they say they are interested in promoting charisma.

    Obama makes the saving throw against caustic acid and the troll misses!