Modern biology as the ‘creation scenario of the Pharisee Religion’

Religious opponents of modern biology have been working to undermine evolution, with varying degrees of creativity, for about a century or so. Georgia State House Rep. Ben Bridges (R), however, thought he’d be extra clever by using the reality-based community’s arguments against them — if religion can’t legally be taught in public school science classes, he’d attack modern biology by labeling it a religion.

Naturally, hilarity ensued. (via Josh Marshall)

The Anti-Defamation League is calling on state Rep. Ben Bridges to apologize for a memo distributed under his name that says the teaching of evolution should be banned in public schools because it is a religious deception stemming from an ancient Jewish sect.

Bridges (R-Cleveland) denies having anything to do with the memo. But one of his constituents said he wrote the memo with Bridges’ approval before it was recently distributed to lawmakers in several states, including Texas, California, New York, Illinois, Pennsylvania and Ohio.

“Indisputable evidence — long hidden but now available to everyone — demonstrates conclusively that so-called ‘secular evolution science’ is the Big-Bang 15-billion-year alternate ‘creation scenario’ of the Pharisee Religion,” the memo says. “This scenario is derived concept-for-concept from Rabbinic writings in the mystic ‘holy book’ Kabbala dating back at least two millennia.”

The memo calls on lawmakers to introduce legislation that would end the teaching of evolution in public schools because it is “a deception that is causing incalculable harm to every student and every truth-loving citizen.”

Better yet, Bridges’ memo also refers people to a website that includes model legislation that calls the Kabbala “a mystic, anti-Christ ‘holy book’ of the Pharisee Sect of Judaism.” The same site also declares “the earth is not rotating … nor is it going around the sun,” and describes a “centuries-old conspiracy” on the part of Jewish physicists to destroy Christianity.

Bridges denied endorsing the information in the document, but it was written by his campaign manager, who insists he distributed the memo with Bridges’ permission.

But wait, it gets better.

Bridges’ campaign manager also sent the bizarre memo — over Bridges’ signature — to state legislators in Texas, California, New York, Illinois, Pennsylvania and Ohio. In Texas, this lunacy caught the eye of State House Appropriations Committee Chairman Warren Chisum (R), who liked the lunacy so much, he forwarded it around to every other member of the Texas House, telling his colleagues that he “greatly appreciate[s] [Bridges’] information on this important matter.”

Yesterday, Chisum reversed course.

A leader of the Texas House of Representatives apologized Friday for circulating an appeal to ban the teaching of evolution as derived from “Rabbinic writings” and other Jewish texts.

“I had no intention to offend anyone,” said the lawmaker, Warren Chisum, a Republican from the Panhandle who is chairman of the House Appropriations Committee.

Mr. Chisum said he had received the information from Ben Bridges, a Georgia legislator, and “I never took it very seriously.”

No, of course not. He sent it to all 149 of his fellow state lawmakers because he didn’t take it seriously.

As for Bridges, the Georgia lawmaker said: “I regret that these people [the ADL] have been offended, but I didn’t offend them because I didn’t put the memo out.” He just agreed to have his campaign manager put it out over his signature, which to Bridges, absolves him of any responsibility.

Does Bridges agree with the ideas in the memo, about the Jewish conspiracy and the earth not rotating around the sun? “I agree with it more than I would the Big Bang Theory or the Darwin Theory,” Bridges said. “I am convinced that rather than risk teaching a lie why teach anything?”

For all of the problems we have with Republicans in Washington, these are the Republicans we frequently face at the state level.

Are they sure that the big bang is a Pharisee theory? Sounds more like the Sadducees to me…or maybe the Samaritans. Or possibly the People’s Front of Judea. Or the Judean People’s Front.

You just can’t invent this stuff, can you?

  • In last night’s Assclowns of the Week, #10 was a trio of brain-dead GOP legislators, including a fool named Warren Chisum who actually said that the earth rotating around the sun, the earth spinning on its axis and evolution itsrelf were not only erroneous theories, but a sinister Jewish plot. Think I’m kidding? Go read for yourself.

    In consumer news, “Shop until you drop” is now no longer just an expression, thanks to Havidol! This is one of the slickest, most brilliant Internet hoaxes I’ve ever seen. And people are falling for it by the hundreds of thousands.

  • This is so deep into the weeds I’m stunned a wingnut would utter it in mixed company – let alone print and distribute it.
    When ‘The truth they don’t want you to know‘ centers on an ancient Jewish conspiracy, it’s either parody or insanity. I think we can rule out parody.

  • “Just because I asked some one to write a letter and signed a letter doesn’t mean I had anything to do with the letter,” has got to be the lamest ass defense from a Refucklican to date and I’m glad his CM is refusing to take the hit. In the meantime, Bridges should be forced to review every document he has ever signed to make sure he “really meant it.”

  • I’ve been commenting on this on a number of blogs. As for Chisum, I entirely believe he just got this letter from a friend — they’d met at a legislator’s retreat of some kind, and simply passed it on. (Chisum is a strange guy. He argues against gay marriage, but accepts gay adoptions, only arguing that heterosexual couples should get preference. He says that creationism should be taught next to the ‘fact’ of evolution. He’s either very shrewd or very confused.)
    As for Bridges — who comes from the same area in Georgia that gave us Larry “Post the 10 Commandments, just don’t ask me to name them” Eagleton — I have no doubt that he never checked out the website. (I think I read his campaign manager was the wife of the guy who runs it.) Or if he did, it was superficially. I can’t imagine any Georgia legislator recommending a site which calls the ‘end times’ idea part of the same ‘Kabbalistic Pharisee’ plot that Copernicanism is, that denies the second coming, and that argues that Jesus will be (or was) given the powers and title of God, but only temporarily.(???)
    In fact, if you collect raving loonies, like I do, you should actually read the site.

  • Hey sarabeth #6, the Muslims gave us naught! 🙂 aka the zero.

    Those Canaanites have been tricking us for thousands of years, Thank god a slack-jawed yokel figured it all out.

  • Secular schools can never be tolerated because such schools have no religious instruction, and a general moral instruction without a religious foundation is built on air; consequently, all character training and religion must be derived from faith . . . we need believing people. [Adolf Hitler, April 26, 1933, from a speech made during negotiations leading to the Nazi-Vatican Concordant of 1933]

    Notice any similarities? I’m sure they’re just coincidental. Secular schools are all Jewish, right?????

  • Actually, the entirety of Genesis is a Chaldean creation myth, adopted by the Babylonians, and plagiarized by the Jews during the Babylonian Captivity when they decided they had better write down their religion before they lost it.

    Further evidence why organized religion is for those lacking a neocortex.

  • Maybe it’s a good idea, actually.

    We could have a movement to take over all the evangelical churches with our new Religion of the Sciences where we could have sermons on using our brains for rational thought instead of faith.

  • Balderdash! Rabbis didn’t invent Evolution. The pagan Greeks did. Thales, Anaximenes, Aristotle and Lucretius all agreed that fish learned how to leave the water and walk on land and that we are all derived from those fish. Want proof?
    Why is a human (or any other) body so hard to burn? Because it’s full of water, thatt’s why!

    So here’s to those pagan Greeks! They gave us Evolution and Bachic orgies! And both without so much as a hint of religious guilt.

  • There was a point in the “Dark Ages” after the Roman Empire fell that writing was only taught by the Church. Does that mean that we should no longer teach writing in the schools because it’s a religious plot??

    Oh wait – it was the Catholic church that was teaching writing – nevermind…

  • Bet you didnt know the guy was Zell Miller’s driver before getting himself elected, or that he helped get a statue of Miller put up at the state house…..

    but now you know he is a certified fruitcake.

  • I new it! Madonna’s behind all of this evolution nonsense. All of this “Like a Virgin” stuff, then having a black actor play Jesus in a video then her singing from a crucifix on her recent tour (though not as hilarious as it was in “Life of Brian”) is all a plot to discredit Christianity, especially when someone named Madonna turns to a Jewish mystical sect and gets the rest of Hollywood to go along. It takes a real genius like Ben Bridges to see the grand conspiracy. Time to burn the Madonna CDs — again.

  • He apologized for getting caught peddling anti-Semitic crap, but not for peddling pre-Stone Age cosmology? (Even Stone Age people knew the planet rotated, for gods’ sake; hence all those standing stone thingummies for tracking the seasons.)

    How does he manage to brush his teeth without serious injury?

  • The same site also declares “the earth is not rotating … nor is it going around the sun,” and describes a “centuries-old conspiracy” on the part of Jewish physicists to destroy Christianity.

    I’ve always kown that Copernicus’ religious bona fides were suspect, despite his uncle the bishop and his own clerical position. There was that story about the “housekeeper”… I bet she was a Jewish physicist mole planted in his household to lead him astray. I just bet she made the earth move for him…

  • Gee, I wonder if there’s anything in there about the value of pi. Remember when some enlightened legislator wanted to have it equal 3.0 instead of 3.14159265359 etc., etc.? After all, it’s about simple values for simple folk!!!

  • Damn it libra, you owe me a new keyboard. –TAIO, @18

    Tit for tat and fair’s fair. I had to get a new keyboard (those Mac ones are sooo delicate) reading your comments and Dale’s and several others’. But my new keyboard now has a “condom”; I’m practising “safe blog reading”…

  • Welll—this could be interesting. If people are going to start badmouthing this so-called “Religion of the Pharisees,” then they’re going to have to reject all of those nasty, hateful rules on the OT. They were, after all, invented by a bunch of well-dressed, power-mad Pharisee-types in a smoke-filled room, y’know….

  • Could anything be more ironic than the term “intelligent design”? If these brain-dead whackjobs are the best that God can come up with, then I’m glad I don’t believe in him!

  • So, people knew about evolution two thousand years ago?? So they must have known about genes, chromosomes, DNA, RNA, the division of life into five kingdoms (and why), mutations, natural selection; that they’d been to the Galapagos Islands, been on fossil digs all over the world, already had the kinds of fossils we’ve found in the past couple of centuries, including those of hominids; that they had present-day knowldge of physics, geology, and chemistry, not to mention journals, peer review, undergraduate and graduate studies in the sciences; and that they had laboratories as modern as today’s for research.
    So, we should have had moon colonies by 200 AD. Or is space exploration just another Jewish plot? I wonder what Jews must think when they see right-wing Christians wallowing in their own willful ignorance.

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