Guest Post by Morbo
Last week I nominated Tom Tancredo (R-Colo.) for the coveted slot of biggest maniac in the House of Representatives. As the Carpetbagger noted a few days ago, Tancredo is hard at work showing America why he deserves that recognition.
The Carpetbagger quoted Tancredo’s website, which noted that the Colorado Republican “requested that the Interior Department reverse plans to create a Pennsylvania 9/11 memorial in the shape of a crescent, citing the crescent’s prominent use in Islam. The architect who designed the memorial said the crescent design is meant to be a symbolic circle broken by the path of Flight 93. Nevertheless, Tancredo expressed concern that the controversial symbol might be thought to honor inadvertently the terrorists instead of the passengers who heroically stopped them.”
No, this is not a joke. Tancredo actually did this — and he wants people to know that. He put out a press release trumpeting it.
Although it has not been as widely reported, Tancredo sent several other letters the same day that underscore his dedication to protecting the American people from the horrors of the crescent. Here’s a rundown:
* The mayor of Crescent City, Calif., a city of about 7,500 people in northern California, received a Tancredo missive insisting that the community immediately change its name to “Freedomville.”
* Every bakery in America got a letter from Tancredo. He demanded that crescent rolls be at once renamed “liberty bread wedges.” (A copy was also provided to the Pillsbury Doughboy.)
* Crescent Electrical Supply Company, a national distributor of electronic components based in East Dubuque, Ill., received a Tancredo letter ordering it to change its name to “Red, White and Blue Electrical Supply Company.”
* A nationwide chain of condominiums known as Crescent Heights was ordered to become either “American Flag Heights” or “Mission Accomplished Heights.”
* Finally, “Crescent Magazine,” a journal based in Pacifica, Calif., that describes itself as “a pagan publication of art, philosophy and belief,” was initially ordered to change its name to “American Freedom Journal,” but on second thought was told to just cease publication entirely.
Join us next week when Tancredo goes international and orders members of the Old Crescent Rugby Football Club in Limerick, Ireland, to begin calling themselves “The Dodgy Old Drunken Rugby Sods Who Are Always After Me Lucky Charms.”