Procreate or die!

Guest Post by Morbo

If judges are going to persist in denying an entire class of people the basic right to marry, they are going to have to come up with better arguments. “Marriage is about procreation” just isn’t cutting it.

This week, the Maryland Court of Appeals, the state’s highest judicial body, upheld a 1973 law banning same-sex marriage in the state. In reaching that decision, The Washington Post reported, the court said same-sex marriage can be banned because of opposite-sex marriage’s link to child rearing.

The appeals court majority acknowledged that gay couples can be suitable parents but gave weight to the state’s argument that preserving the legal definition of marriage encourages childbearing in households made up of a father and mother. “Marriage enjoys its fundamental status due, in large part, to its link to procreation,” the majority wrote.

Pardon me for being blunt, but what a crock. Let me begin with the obvious: Marriage isn’t about procreation. It’s about two people who are in love deciding they want to be together in a manner that is recognized by the state, thus receiving certain benefits and recognitions that are available only to those whose union is so recognized.

Sure, lots of opposite-sex couples decide to have children. But others do not by choice or find that they cannot conceive. Are these marriages somehow less valid in the eyes of the state?

And here’s a newsflash for the Maryland court: Gay couples can have children, and some even procreate.

A lesbian can carry and give birth to a child. Two men can adopt. Of course the two men have not procreated. So what? They are raising a child. If maintaining the family unit is of concern to the government, it should not matter how that unit came into being. Court rulings like this portray procreation as the be all and end all of family life. Sensible people know it’s just the beginning.

That brings me to my final point: The hypocrisy of rulings like this is staggering. Read these words again from The Post: “The appeals court majority acknowledged that gay couples can be suitable parents but gave weight to the state’s argument that preserving the legal definition of marriage encourages childbearing in households made up of a father and mother.”

Right. American society certainly has no problem encouraging childbearing, but at a time when divorce rates and out-of-wedlock births are as high as they are, we’re kidding ourselves if we think a ruling banning same-sex marriage is somehow going to ensure that children end up in a home with a mother and a father. Opposite-sex couples and single heterosexuals are going to do what they will, regardless of whether the same-sex couple next door is legally married or not.

(And understand that I don’t mean to knock those who are divorced or single parents. Divorce is sometimes the best option, and many single parents are working hard to raise offspring. How about government policies that support all of these families?)

One final thought on this: The day will come when rulings like this are seen as the embarrassments that they are. They’ll be viewed the way we look at Dred Scott today. People will read about them in history books and shake their heads. The same fate awaits the spate of constitutional amendments passed in the states banning same-sex marriage.

That’s the good news. The bad news is I don’t expect this to happen soon. I doubt I’ll see it in my lifetime. But if we’re lucky, my children — raised in an opposite-sex marriage that is in no way threatened by same-sex marriage — will.

All I can say is I’m glad I live in Canada. I could not live in a state that sponsors descrimination based on a persons sexual orientation.

  • I doubt I’ll see it in my lifetime.

    What are you, 90? Compare civil rights to gay marriage, and we’ve made a lot of progress a lot faster.

  • why is the govt in the marriage business anyway? it should be in the civil union business, ensuring couples get the legal rights they deserve. marriage should be left to people’s houses of worship, who can determine what the spiritual angle should be.

  • EXACTLY, angry young man! My sentiments exactly.

    And, if these people want to promote “healthy marriages and children”, why not start by banning divorce. Oh, that should make a difference.

  • One final thought on this: The day will come when rulings like this are seen as the embarrassments that they are.

    I’m hoping the day will come when the whole first decade of the 21st Century is seen as the embarrassment it is.

  • It should be noted that the origin of marriage was a woman being given to a man, as one would give “an article of livestock.” If, for example, I performed a great deed for a man with one or more daughters, he might reward me by giving me one of his daughters as a bride—my deed having been the “brideprice.” This is not a concept unique to comically-fundamental cults such as the taliban; such beliefs are still embraced by the knuckle-dragging subsection of American society to this day.

    This is not to degrade marriage; rather, it is to degrade the self-annointed authority of one individual/group to coercively force his/her/its adopted dogma upon another individual—and that will stop when—and only when—the bulwark of American society decides to make it financially irresponsible to hold such protolithic beliefs. A shrill preacher will only go away when vast numbers of people quietly turn aside from his message. A political hack will only go away when he fails to generate sufficient income for his masters.

    And a judge will only go away when he can no longer garner the financial resources necessary to run his next campaign for re-election….

  • “Marriage enjoys its fundamental status due, in large part, to its link to procreation,”

    This is a religious teaching. In particular, it is a doctrine of the Roman Catholic Church, and probably of some other sects as well. The decision is an unconstitutional “establishment” of religion.

    Comment #3 is exactly right. The state has no place in the marriage business. That is for the church. The state’s only place is to ratify and record civil unions.

  • isn’t marriage now a hopeless mix of church and state?

    my wife and i – both previously married to others – were married by a judge. i’ve got two kids and a vasectomy from my first marriage. she has no kids and had a complete hysterectomy for medical reasons right after we met. we’re both well past child-wanting age anyway.

    are we “married?” we can’t have/don’t want kids. but we certainly enjoy the legal benefits that are being denied to others.

    perhaps their should be civil unions for those – both straight and gay – who wish to take advantage of the legal aspects of being together, and “marriage” for those who want to deal with all the religious crap.

  • I’ve always tried to point out the difference between civil marriage and “church” marriage to those who oppose us. Sometimes they come around, sometimes they don’t. A surprising number of religious sects will perform “church” marriages for same-sex couples. That doesn’t affect the validity of civil marriage. And sometimes, I can even get across the fact that civil unions aren’t portable, since most states won’t recognize them.

    I could care less about a “church” wedding. Hubby and I had a civil ceremony in Canada a few years ago. Family and friends in attendance were all we needed. No “god” required.

    Now, the fight is to get the civil recognition of the US government. The concept of comity (sp?) pisses off a lot on the right. Marriage makes no difference in our state (FL) until you get to death benefits, since we don’t have an income tax. And frankly, right now we’re doing better off under current tax law by being forced to file as singles. We’ve contacted several of the LGBT legal groups, offering to be part of a test case to force the comity issue, but no takers. My thinking is that if the state recognizes Canadian marriage for all of the snowbirds here, and will grant them divorce if such should come to pass, then they ought to recognize ALL such marriages, even the same-sex ones.

  • Here’s an especially stupid thing: The Maryland Court of Appeals seems to focus on only the event of getting married as the focus for their reasoning. (It’s similar to the people who focus on conception in considering the value of a human life.) If they’d instead viewed marriage as an ongoing process, they could have done a very similar analysis, holding that marriage is about providing a stable relationship for raising children (not that this is the only role of marriage, but they seem to be especially concerned with it, given their mention of procreation). On this view, same-sex marriage is a good thing, in that gay couples can care for children as well as anyone else, and allowing same-sex marriage would increase the number of such stable relationships.

  • Now we can go after the real target: post-menopausal women who are destroying the institution of marriage by entering into wedlock without the intention to procreate. Post-vasectomy marriages are next on the list; and we will find you, mellowjohn.

  • I have to take issue with Morbo that marriage is primarily about love. Marriage has always been about property, money, and raising children. It’s sanctity is a creation of the RC church as a way of social (sexual) and political (power) control over the population. Whomever controls access to sexual activity, and whomever gets to decide who can marry whom has a great deal of power indeed. There are tons of loveless marriages out there, hence the high divorce rate, and even the roughly half that stay married aren’t hopelessly, irrationally in love with each other. Marriage is an accommodation, which some people can manage, and others can’t.

    In any case, marriage isn’t the gateway to having sex anymore (even if you’re a religious wingnut), people conceive or raise children in all sorts of ways in addition to marriage, and the only legitimate interest the state has in this whole business is a) medical b) providing support for parents of all stripes to properly nurture the young into a healthy, happy, well-educated, self-sustaining adulthood.

    Because of the blurring between church and state in this benighted country, civil and religious ceremonies are treated equally under the law. That isn’t true in France where the only legal way to get married is civily. If you want a church’s blessing of your union that’s your choice, and it’s optional. Too bad we can’t be so civilized here.

    I say strip all the preachers of their right to perform civily legal marriages. Let them perform their religious ceremonies as they see fit, but to be legally married should mean you have a civil union. Those are fighting words, I realize, and will certainly energize the knuckle draggers to pick up their clubs and come out of their caves.

  • What’s astounding about the ruling is that it’s nearly identical to the ruling of the Washington State Supreme Court.

    That ruling has been resoundingly criticized for the same reasons – Marriage is for Childbearing – Excuse me? Marriage is for the sake of the well being of Children – What?

    It’s difficult to comprehend how anyone trained in the law can miss the contradictions in logic.

    Who’s getting to these judges? Focus on the Family?

  • Anyone can stick their dick into a women’s vagina and procreate. Watch Jerry Springer and tell me the rational of the court makes sense.

  • Finally! A place where intelligent people make sense.

    I have no other comment, you have said it all….the legal rationale, the procreating rational, state vs church……..

    You guys rock!

    Do you want a job as Supreme Court judges? 🙂

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