Serious media speculation about the ‘end times’

A couple of weeks ago, Cursor noted a “[tag]Rapture[/tag] Ready” online message board featuring some cautiously-optimistic evangelicals who believe events in the Middle East may be part of a [tag]Biblical[/tag] [tag]end-times[/tag] [tag]prophecy[/tag]. As one person asked, “Is it times to get excited?

Of course, it was just random speculation on a largely-unknown message board. We wouldn’t find similar talk on major TV news outlets, would we? Take a wild guess.

In recent days, some members of the conservative media have seen signs of the Apocalypse in the escalated conflicts in the Middle East and Asia. While some, like Christian Broadcasting Network’s The 700 Club host Pat Robertson, consider the possibility and seem to reject it; others see early signs; still others, including WorldNetDaily.com columnist and author Hal Lindsey, simply assert: “Now [tag]Armageddon[/tag] looms large before us.”

It’s hardly a major surprise, but far-right religious media figures have devoted an usually large amount of time to the subject lately. Janet Parshall described the conflict in the Middle East as “a Sunday school lesson playing out before us.” Jerry Falwell told his supporters, “It is apparent, in light of the rebirth of the state of Israel, that the present-day events in the Holy Land may very well serve as a prelude or forerunner to the future Battle of Armageddon and the glorious return of Jesus Christ.” Jack Van Impe told Trinity Broadcasting Network’s audience, “Yes, Armageddon is coming,” adding that “[b]illions are going to be there to meet Christ after the conflict is ended.”

When these ideas are bandied about among religious-right leaders and their followers, it it’s odd, but predictable. It’s far more disconcerting, however, when the same ideas gain legitimacy on CNN.

On Monday, for example, CNN’s Paula Zahn asked viewers to consider, “[I]s the crisis in the Middle East predicted by the Bible? Next in our top story coverage, what does the Book of Revelation tell us about what’s happening right now in the Middle East? Are we really approaching the end of the world?”

It wasn’t an isolated incident. On July 12, CNN Headline News’ Glenn Beck described recent events as evidence that “it is the end of days” and an “impending apocalypse.” Beck returned to the subject a few days later, saying the “end of days is approaching quickly,” and asking viewers, “How far away from the plague of locusts are we?” This week, Beck announced an upcoming series “on the coming of the messiah.”

And just yesterday, CNN faith-and-values correspondent Delia Gallagher did a report on Armageddon with the words “[tag]Apocalypse[/tag] Now?” on screen.

Are events in the Middle East not quite disturbing enough for these guys, so [tag]CNN[/tag] decided to try to literally put the fear of God into its audience? Is it unreasonable to expect the “legitimate” cable news network to be slightly more responsible?

That is so fucked up on so many levels. It means that these people are actually cheering for things to get WORSE, for millions to die and suffer, all in the name of their own personal salvation.

And they have the nerve to call the rest of us self-centered, depraved, indecent, lacking morals, etc.

  • Some large bloc of Americans belive Jesus is coming back so it’s expected that some large percentage of reporters believe it too.Perhaps this kind of speculation will have blowback when it doesn’t come to pass.

  • UFF-DAH! What a sad sad sad sad state of affairs. I cannot believe CNN is now operating on the general level of sunday school.

    On the upside, I have a good idea and welcome any CB readers who want to join in to work with me to make this happen.

    I propose we set up a website and call center to allow all the fundie Christians to give us all of their money. They can transfer stock holdings, cash, real estate deeds, bonds, personal property whatever. Here is the pitch:

    1) The end of days is coming
    2) It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle that for a rich man to get into heaven.
    3) You will be in heaven with Jesus and so will all of your children and fellow church members. Why not leave the money to me. It will weigh me down in the darkest pits of hell.

    I need a lawyer, a PR/Advertising person, and a good web-designer. If any of you are charming and attractive I think a good front-man would be helpful for the infomercials.

    We can split the money evenly.

    Who is with me?

  • Oh great. A bunch of wingnut Xtians show up all over the Middle East to meet Jesus’ plane (train, automobile). Jihadists who live there decide that this is the time to start wholesale beheadings of infidels…quite the little self-fulfilling prophecy-in-the-making.

  • Go watch “Network” again and then say you’re surprised by anything these idiots do. Their head-count for advertising bucks doesn’t include any information as to whether or not there is actually anything inside those heads (in fact, the advertisers likely would prefer the more empty ones).

    It’s like the “History” channel doing all the biblical bullshit they do. Just another way to attract the booboisie.

  • MNProgressive,

    I’m with you. Do you need an accountant?

    I just have to share my favorite PJ lyric from Do the Evolution:

    I’m a thief…I’m a liar…there’s my church…I sing in the choir!!!

  • Pearl,

    I definately need an accountant, in my excitment I forgot all about that. You are in!

    Here is your first assignment:

    LIFO ro FIFO?
    Cash or Accrual?
    US accounts or Cayman Islands?
    Get witht eh lawyer and find out if we can organize as tax exempt sincve we are dealing with Jesus.

    Go forth and help us prosper! Amen.

  • Isn’t the Rapture supposed to happen before the battle of Armageddon? Has there been a large number of people missing?

    Or is it the reverse?

    And isn’t the Anti-Christ supposed to make an appearance by now?

  • Is it unreasonable to expect the “legitimate” cable news network to be slightly more responsible?

    No. But there is no such thing any more.

    Fox never was. MSNBC flirted with legitimacy, but decided to go for ratings/profits instead.

    CNN? CNN ceased to be a NEWS organization years ago, when Tom Johnson retired. The real news people (Christiane Amanpour excepted) quit or retired, and “telling compelling stories” (a recent quote from Anderson Cooper) became the goal.

    Informing is no longer CNN’s goal. Entertaining is.

    And no matter how much we criticize the cable networks, and demand that they clean up their act, they won’t.

    There’s only one way to influence them – change the channel.

    The good news is, CNN’s average audience is less than 1 million (around 100,000 during the day), so no one sees this crap. Maybe you should join the other 99% of the country and give up on them.

    I did.

  • I need a lawyer, a PR/Advertising person, and a good web-designer. If any of you are charming and attractive I think a good front-man would be helpful for the infomercials.
    MNProgressive

    I’ll be happy to do the web design. And Ralph Reed is available for the infomercial, though he may want more than an even split 😉

  • “And isn’t the Anti-Christ supposed to make an appearance by now? ”

    I think the anti-christ has been here for quite some time. The fellow mentioned last year that the Iraqi insurgency is in its last throes. And he shot an old guy in the face and made the old guy apologize for getting in the way of his buckshot. That’s power.

    MNProgressive, I’m in. Considering how well they manage money, they don’t need it. Love that faith based accounting.

  • OK JC is on web design. I like the idea of having someone named “JC” on staff. We’ll need to accept Pay Pal so people can transfer liquid assets. I think a lot of links to EODays sites and any biblical site that might encourage donations.

  • And isn’t the Anti-Christ supposed to make an appearance by now?

    If I believed in that sort of thing, the answer is obvious, 2Manchu. His name is Bush.

  • Dan, you and I can set up competing religions — you say it’s Cheney, I say it’s Bush. Let the religious wars begin!

    (I hear there are nice tax breaks for religions, btw)

  • Colbert did a number from Monday’s show saying the war in the Middle East is a harbinger of the Rapture, which was why Boy George II wasn’t trying to stop it.

    Really, the policy the Theocratic Reactionaries will try to push just to avoid having to die like thousands of generations before them.

    My Occasional Prayer:

    God, please do the Rapture. Take them all away. You know whom I’m talking about. Dobson, Robertson, Falwell, etc.. They don’t want to die like everybody else has every had to and really, it’s okay with me. Bodily assume them up to heaven. Take everybody who qualifies. I know it’s not many, maybe 6% of Americans according to the Southern Baptists, but go ahead. Stretch it a little it You want. I’d appreaciate that.

    But that whole Tribulations thing. Don’t put Yourself out. I’m sure we’ll do fine without. And really, if You do the Rapture, there will be more room in the churches, and the air will be cleaner, so I’m sure more people will keep the sabbath. And I bet there will be a lot less envy. That’s two of the big Ten, and I bet You lots more people will be thinking about the rest.

    You don’t have to get flashy with all the End Times stuff. I mean, John, he was a bit of a litterary snob, wasn’t he? Always refering to himself as “the disciple that Jesus loved”. Sounds a little queer, don’t You think? But all that stuff in Revelations, I mean, it’s a bit over the top. I’m sure the four horsemen would be happy to just sit it out. After all, it’s been two millenium since Your Boy promised his disciples that the Kingdom would come to Earth before the end of their lifetimes. I mean, clearly You missed that deadline. If Your not willing to bring the End Times on schedule to keep Your Boy’s word, why put Yourself out for a effete snob like John. I mean, have you seen the picture of him in DeVinci’s Last Supper? He looks like a girl!

    So, in summary, Rapture, okay, Tribulations, not to bother. We all okay with that?

    Thanks a lot.

    Amen

  • The antichrist is supposed to be highly charismatic, isn’t he? Drawing a lot of followers to him. I think that means it’s Bush, doesn’ t it?

  • LOL… Competing houses of Satan.

    I’m channeling, er, writing the book of Cheney as we speak. I’m starting on Chapter Six Verse Six Paragraph Six:

    “And Cheney said unto the Fox that I shooteth a man in the face and I liked it!”

  • MN Progressive: Sounds good. Can we take a portion (large) of the receipts and spend them as Jesus would want us to: to help the poor and sick? And to help wage peace?

    As for CNN, I’m not surprised. I’ve tried watching it a time or two, but it’s completely hopeless. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert have been lampooning it (and FOX and all TV news for that matter) quite a bit lately. Colbert had a segment on the “rapture” just the other night. Stephen couldn’t keep a straight face as words (War and Rapture) and bombs graphics filled the bottom of the screen. The whole thing was brilliant (as was Jon Stewart’s bit on the administration’s hypocricy over stem cell research).

  • The stupider the sheep are, the easier they are to shear.

    This reminds me of the old adage:

    So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence.

    – Bertrand Russell.

  • MNProgressive

    I’m down. And I can do the soundtrack. If we ah, suecure sufficeint “contributions” we can buy the rights for “Sympathy for the Devil”.

  • Hanna,

    We can leverage the charity component to help us keep our tax exempt status. I suppose it would be kind, generous, and the right thing to do as well. Depending on our overhead and the eventual size of our investor group we could offer an equal share of the spoils to charity.

    On another note I think Bush, Cheney, and Rove are the un-holy trinity and togehter represent satan. Which one is the father, which is the son and which is the holy ghost?

    Dee,
    I’m not sure Symapthy for the Devil is right, I prefer Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode. See what you can do.

  • This is the same network whose reporter described Selmer, Tennessee—the town where a preacher’s wife is accused of killing her husband—as a “God-fearing community.”

  • Unholy trinity!

    My fellow Satan Theologians might have an issue with this…

    The UnHoly Chained Temple of Dan proclaims the following:
    Cheney = the Father
    Bush = the Son
    Rove = the unholy ghost

    Must say that this has made my lunch hour…

  • Makes me think of one of my favorite bumper stickers…….”Come the Rapture, can I have your car?”

  • The History Channel is all over this too, last night they went into a detailed comparison of what is going on today and the bible’s Armageddon.
    At what point did the “History” Channel start referring to the bible as a source of factual information ?

  • Perhaps this kind of speculation will have blowback when it doesn’t come to pass.

    Not a chance. The history of splinter religious groups is full of examples of leaders who predict the end of the world, even gather their followers around them, and then (when the world doesn’t end) make excuses and push the date out. The Jehovah’s Witnesses, for example, made half a dozen predictions in the 20th century. Are their numbers diminished? People really want to believe; their sense of self is so tied up in their religious beliefs that any number of failed predictions of the end of the world, not to mention personal experiences (e.g., remission of disease), aren’t enough to cause them to turn away.

  • I wonder what the rest of the world thinks about us when they here this stuff. Wait, don’t answer, I think I already know.

  • “Will the Rapture destroy the Republican majority?” – Art K

    I expect they aren’t much worried, expecting as they all are that they at least will get in, if not their friend Jack Abramoff.

    When you get down to it, there are probably more people who believe they will be part of the Rapture than any of them believe will be in the Rapture.

    Did that make sense?

    Try this. Ten Million people believe they will be part of the Rapture. But they each believe that only One Million people will be in the Rapture. Which make Nine Million of them total smucks, right?

    One way or another, it’s going to be a big disappointment to them.

  • I figure the 1st Century Christians — who, after all, were closest to the Source — must’ve become pretty depressed when they realized that the hoped-for Second Coming wasn’t going to materialize during the lifetime of those then living. “Verily I say unto you, All these things shall come upon this generation.” (Matthew 23:36 KJV)

    Now, 2000 years later, these Rapture nutcases and “Left Behind” fruitcakes are still waiting. I can understand religious people (as they understand the term) behaving this way since they have willfully limited minds and no respect at all for facts, even those claimed in their Bibles. But Paula Zahn?! CNN¿¡ These may not be The Last Days, but they ought to be. America, anyway, is getting so God damned dumb it deserves to go. To quote Nietzsche: “That which is falling, one should also push.”

  • “Isn’t the Rapture supposed to happen before the battle of Armageddon?….Or is it the reverse?” – 2Manchu #9

    Actually there are two distinct schools of thought among the theocratic wing of the Insanity Party as to which will come first, Jesus or the Tribulations. One group is called the Dominionists, I think, and I forget the other one at the moment.

    Doesn’t matter because in Latin they both translate to “Total F*cking Morons” anyway. 😉

    These guys are actually quite scary:

    “Dominion theology is predicated upon three basic beliefs:

    (a) Satan usurped man’s dominion over the earth through the temptation of Adam and Eve;
    (b) The Church is God’s instrument to take dominion back from Satan; and
    (c) Jesus cannot or will not return until the Church has taken dominion by gaining control of the earth’s governmental and social institutions.”

    http://www.rapidnet.com/~jbeard/bdm/Psychology/cor/dominion.htm

    Is this clear? The Church must take dominion by gaining control of the earth’s governmental and social institutions. Read this over slowly a few times and maybe it will start to sink in that this is exactly what has been the agenda of the Theocratic Right in this country for a long time now.

    They are deadly serious about this. Hear me now and believe me later, this is no joke….at least not to them. We see the proof of it around us every day.

  • MN…

    You might need 2 web developers. I’d like to help if possible.

    Also, if all goes as hoped we’ll have so much money that all the tax cuts will apply to us!

  • Jesus could hurry up and get with the program. Rapture? Bring. It. On. I’ll take my chances with the Tribulations as long as the raptured folks aren’t gumming up the works.
    –a.

  • I think that “dominion” business is pretty fringe. That idea is not supported by the New Testament or the words of Jesus. (I think I remember something about the comming of the Lord is like a thief in the night, e.g. not expected.) I think the number of christian denominations, large or small, who buy into that are few. Thirty years ago I went to some religious function and heard some guy talking about a “new teaching” and started spouting this dominion theology and I also remember walking out. Until this morning I never knew the name for that idea was dominion theology. It all seems pretty thin to me. I know the American people can be gullible at times, but I doubt that idea would stand even a casual scrutiny.

  • kanopsis

    OK fine but no more than two of each job. I like the Noah’s ark feel to that.

    Crumedgeon, that is sobering stuff. Isn’t that the nickname for Virginia?

    Do you want a job with my new organization stirring up bad news and driving people to donate? The PR job is still open!

  • You’re correct, Gracious, in that Dominionist theory is not supported in the New Testament or the teachings of Jesus. But if you read the link you’ll see that the adherents of DT are solidly in the Old Testament camp and don’t give two figs for the teachings of Jesus unless it supports their agenda.

    I used to think they were just a bunch of hedge-loonies, too. But look at how many members of Congress expound on “God’s Plan” these days and how even CNN is treating this ‘end of the word’ snake oil as a legitimate story and you just have to wonder.

    I wish they would give equal coverage to the Millerites of the 19th century, who believed the same garbage and got nothing but heartache and disappointment out of it. Then maybe people’s minds could be expanded a bit to let some sense in. Big maybe, though. Some people just *need* to believe, and that will probably never change.

  • “Do you want a job with my new organization stirring up bad news and driving people to donate? The PR job is still open! ” – MNP

    You betcha! I’ll scare the living Geebus out of the nation until they fall gibbering at our feet with open wallets in their trembling fingers.

    Wait, isn’t that Fallwell and Dobson’s schtick? Never mind, I don’t want to be accused of being a copycat. 😉

  • I can’t wait for the Rapture. If that will carry all these brainless bastards off to Heaven and leave people who have a decent respect for logic, science, the arts and each other here, I’d be very, very happy.

  • I try to avoid CNN these days, but I caught Beck once — are you sure he wasn’t joking?

    I’m not really surprised that CNN is taking the lead in this — sometimes I’d rather watch Fox where at least I never expected any better.

  • While some, like Christian Broadcasting Network’s The 700 Club host Pat Robertson, consider the possibility and seem to reject it.

    Look for more of this kind of rhetoric from the far right religious lunatics since it might fuck up the cash flow that they fleece from the morons and rubes that they prey on to fund their scams. If the inbred retards who buy into this bullshit believe the end is really close the donations and tithes might stop coming. Bottom feeders like Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell who rely on the elderly, the weak-minded and the hopeless for cash don’t shit where they eat.

  • If the rapture of the church is true and I hope it is.. it would be like Noah having to go through water to get to his boat before he shut the doors. But there is always an ending to everything, we live to die and we are all here to be tested for our faith and obidience in God the Almighty. It isn’t strange that God would want to put an end to the destruction and sinful nature of what has come about. To look up, for our redemption is near is to be faithful and righteous in God’s eyes because she doesn’t want anyone to be a part of what will be, but wants to save everyone. The fact is, it’s a personal choice if you want to accept the truth or a lie. I personally with all my heart and soul and very being believe in God the father, the Son and Holy Spirit and that He is in control, not men as they would like to believe.

  • Two things:

    In answer to ScottW’s question: “At what point did the “History” Channel start referring to the bible as a source of factual information?”

    This happened around 2002, when the History Channel was bought up by Viacom, which – among other things, owns the most pernicious cable channel in the history of cable channels, MTV. MTV executives, spawn of Satan all of them (really), have been sent out through all of the various properties owned by Viacom, to dumb them down to the level of the MTV audience. I was at the time a member of a group of folks headed by the former head of the National Air And Space Museum, who worked with various History Channel programs to insure some degree of historical accuracy. The year Viacom took over, the group’s contract was dropped. You may have noticed that in the past 4 years the “experts” on the various History Channel programs are younger and younger, which is because the MTV folks don’t believe their audience wants to hear from “old farts.” As to the specifics of the question, the History Channel now puts on whatever is thought that the MTV “generation”wants to see. As one of these people said to me to my face, “our audience doesn’t know that much about history, and is primarily looking for entertainment.”

    Like I keep saying, watch “Network.” Paddy Chaevsky was talking about what was going on then, and the movie has only become more and more prescient as years have gone by. The answer to the question about the History Channel is there to be seen in “Network.”

    As to the compliment for coming up with “booboisie,” that wasn’t me. Mencken did it about 75 years ago. Another guy whose observations only become more right on as time goes by. In fact, he came up with the answer to the question about the History Channel and the news here about “serious coverage” of the Rapture: “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American people,” an observation he made during the Scopes Monkey Trial.

  • Hmm. Maybe we can just convince them all to go the “Heaven’s Gate” route? They hate us (the Enlightenment rationalists), they hate the Earth… how hard could it be?

  • My heart just broke when I came across this website. Why? Because you think this is a joke. It’s not a joke. No one, not even the angels or Jesus knows when the rapture will happen, but it will happen one day!! Do you really want to be left behind to face all the torment that will be on the earth? You may joke about it now, but when it happens you won’t be. Christians don’t want things to get worse, they just want people to be saved! But a Christian does long for the rapture because for a Christian it means to be with the Lord forever!! No more wars, sickness, worries…just everlasting PEACE!! Who wouldn’t want that? My prayer for all of you is that you will TRUST JESUS as your PERSONAL SAVIOUR and get SAVED today. Men will fail you but JESUS NEVER FAILS!! Please ACCEPT HIM TODAY!!

  • I agree with Susie. I couldn’t believe the things that are posted. One day you will stand before the Lord and give an accounting for the things you’ve done in your life. I’m not sure you will want to explain your comments or jokes when you are meeting your SAVIOR face to face. You might want to think twice before being so cavalier and irresponsible with your comments. Jesus said: I am the WAY, the TRUTH and the LIFE. No one comes to the FATHER except through me. John 14:6. If you don’t know Jesus as your personal Savior, you need to accept him into your life today. Once you have, you will see how impossible it will be for you to even consider leaving posts that mock HIM. Just suppose I MIGHT be right…do you really want to take the chance on something this important to be wrong just because you think its fun to mock God?

  • Pam,
    Thank you for your response. I’m glad to have a fellow Christian posting on this site. I may not meet ya down here but someday I’ll meet ya in heaven…and who knows, it may not be long!

  • Cant wait for the rapture to arrive so these people can disappear and perhaps now we can have a sane life with reality here on earth. The sooner the better I say.

    Christianity although in principle is cool, the people that have taken everything so literally have created famine, wars, desimated other civilizations, and continue to kill, mame, and destroy everthing that is moral and valuable to humanity in the name of GOD. Be gone with you we say and it cant happen soon enough.

  • This is a couple years too late to respond to these comments but I just came across the webpage. When did you turn from the truth? Did you see someone who claimed to be a Christian not acting very Christianly? That unfortunately happens. True Christians aren’t perfect but strive to be like Christ, who was. He walked this earth and left such an impression that humanity has been talking, writing, etc. about him since. Our timing method is patterned from his birth BC/AD for goodness sake. Why is he so contraversal? If he was just a prophet or a “good man” why can’t you leave it alone? Jesus is the Messiah and will be coming back to earth for those who have given themselves to him. I strongly urge everyone reading this message (hopefully the ones who wrote the comments above) to ask Jesus Christ to reveal himself to you. And not in a cynical or mocking way, but wholeheartedly. Also, give the Bible a chance. Read and believe the verses you’ve been taking so lightly.

  • Comments are closed.