Sunday Discussion Group

November 27, 2005

By January 2009, when the next president takes the oath of office, George W. Bush will be a relatively-young 62. This week’s topic is: what in the world will Bush do once his presidency is officially over?

Among modern presidents, Bush, after his second term, will be young and healthy, and will have any number of options. He seems unlikely to write extensively on public policy (Nixon), or pursue international humanitarian and diplomatic missions (Carter and Clinton). Given Bush’s standing and unique “talents,” the teaching/speaking/Davos route seems out of the question. And he’ll be too young to just golf and encourage well-wishers to watch his drives.

He’s likely to enjoy the ranch, but there’s only so much brush-clearing a healthy 62-year-old former president can do. So, what will Bush do with his time? What would a man with few curiosities and a tendency to avoid hard work want to do?

In order to stay positive about the future of the country, I have to think that he will be spending his time in a minimum-security federal prison awaiting his all-encompassing trial for corruption and war crimes. To see him wander off into private life, after the damage he has caused this country, would be to show the world that this country turns a blind eye to high crimes. We cannot let that happen.

  • So many corporations to leave in ruins, so little time.

    My guess is that, without his handlers, he’ll pretty much be in a constant stupor hanging around his livestockless “ranch”, taking occasional breaks from tv to try once again to get all the way through “My Pet Goat”.

  • I think he’ll retire in the traditional sense. Play lots of golf, putter around his “ranch”, maybe sit on a few corporate boards, and maybe lend his name to a cause or two. I don’t believe he’ll feel he owes anything to anybody or have the ambition to start a new “career”.

  • Three words: talk show host. He can be the red-state Oprah, hosting scripted discussions with people who already agree with him. He’s already getting a lot of practice.

  • It was said during the 2000 campaign that Bush viewed the presidency as a stepping stone to becoming commissioner of major league baseball. I believe that remains a possibility. However, don’t “misunderestimate” his ability to do nothing.

  • Hopefully, he’ll be doing whatever work is assigned to him in his new capacity as an inmate at Marion Federal Prison.

  • Great topic! Let’s see. He’s got several problems. As CB notes, there’s not many areas where he has any competence, or general curiosity. He’s neither communicator, scholar, nor entrepreneur. But, the bigger problem is that at the rates he’s going, he’ll be so discredited, as to be ‘radioactive’. He’ll owe the public so many apologies, that he’d have to begin at 42, not 62.

    As bad as Nixon was, he could at least point back to some accomplishments. What can Bush point to? NCLB?

    I doubt he’ll be welcomed, let alone respected, anywhere but with his fundie base. This pretty much narrows his options down to one. He’ll take over the reigns at the 700 Club from Pat Robertson, and mindlessly cluck about morals and values.

  • This is a fun topic. I like the inmate scenarios. Perhaps he’ll have the only Presidential Library with a juvenile book section.

  • Bush has been a cheerleader his whole life. That’s why he spent the first half of 2005 “campaigning” for the end of Social Security rather than getting involved with anything resembling policy. If he has any credibility left with his base in 2009 (a difficult thing to gauge, as everyone may be completely fed up with him by that point), he’ll spend his life going from fund-raiser to fund-raiser, energizing the angry, the corrupt and the credulous with his simple, repetitive tough-guyisms and feeble one-liners (and making lots of money in the process).

    Or could he become a Fox talking head? Anything’s possible in a country that turns criminals like Ollie North and Gordon Liddy into “opinion makers.”

  • While I enjoyed reading the responses to this interesting question, I can’t help but admit I really don’t care what he does as long as he is away from the White House. True, a big smile crosses my face when I consider the notion of Bush in prison clothes, but I don’t see that happening. What I do expect is for Bush to destroy long-standing traditional roles filled by former presidents, just as he continues to destroy long-standing traditions expected of current presidents. Bush fails this country with every breath he takes as president, so I see no change coming after he leaves. However, at least he will no longer be President Bush!

  • Look at what Bush is passionate about, whether in the White House, traveling abroad, or in Texas: riding his bike. I can see him as figure head of the President’s Fitness Council (“now with real Presidents!”), touring the country and talking to high schoolers about their health.

  • I’m sure there’s a seat on the Carlye Group’s board of Directors for him, if he’s still on good terms with Poppy.

  • I think he will make a fortune giving speeches to groups of true believers and he will make a fortune by writing a book.

    Don’t give me all that crap about needing a ghost writer. Doesn’t everyone use a ghost writer?

  • Coward that he is, I see him hiding at his Crawford ranch under heavy guard. He hid all day on Air Force One on 9/11, and has continued to hide from any subject, person or audience that challenges him. As he is unable to speak without a script, I don’t see him doing much. Perhaps he will drink himself to death.

  • Honestly, I don’t think he’ll live very long after leaving office.

    This guy’s entire life has been about failing upward. He’s the ultimate legacy, the avatar of someone whose “accomplishments” are all entirely attributable to what his ancestors did and who his friends are. Having reached the ultimate pinnacle of attainment-type “success,” a two-term presidency, there is literally nothing left for him.

    Like his Texas predecessor–but totally lacking both LBJ’s record of great service to the country and his horror and despair over the outcome of his own intractable war–Bush will go home, sink into a booze-fueled depression, and die young.

    He won’t be missed.

  • I too agree with him being “handled” by the family – with some seats on some corporate boards where he can be maintained harmlessly. He’ll sit on the front porch at the pig farm (which is what it was before he bought it) and booze himself into a well-deserved oblivion, to the point that – when he actually does die – we will all turn to each other and say, “George Bush – didn’t he die a long time ago?”

    He won’t be on the board at Carlyle – Daddy runs that place, and Georgie wants to stay as far away from Daddy as possible. Mommy will probably make his plans for him.

  • I guess his only real skill is clearing brush. Maybe he could start a business in Crawford clearing other people’s brush. He could call it Bush and Daughters’ Brush Clearing, Inc. After all Jenna needs a job. What the hell is brush anyway?

  • The Big Dog was smart enough to write his own book. In long hand on yellow legal pads, but never the less he did his own writing. You can hear his voice as you read it.

    W will make a bundle on the true believer lecture circuit, publish the occasional ghost-written book revising and justifying his multiple screw-ups, viciously criticize Democrats, sit on corporate boards, make more money on insider trading, become increasingly demented, and die young of some sort of unspecified disease that is really alcoholic cirrhosis.

    Prison would be nice.

  • He’s not going to leave office and nobody’s going to prison.

    Another 9/11 national emergency will make the 2008 election impossible. Bush will declare the country under martial law and all the soldiers newly returned from Iraq will cordone off major US cities. Halliburton and FEMA will run the country from Vice President for Torture Cheney’s secret lair and duck hunting blind in Wyoming.

    Only traitors and cowards will voice any opposition because American liberties are at stake. We can’t let the terrorists win just to preserve a few cherished non-christian beliefs in equality and civil rights. Jesus says lock the country down, kill the Muslims and outlaw abortion. Culture of Life – 9/11 – terrorists….

  • I don’t think he’ll finish his second term. He’ll either be impeached or resign.

    If I’m wrong, however, I figure he’ll first wait a few months to be invited to sit on corporate boards. When no invitations appear, he’ll begin begging to sit on corporate boards. When that doesn’t work, he’ll go to Poppy, who will tell him to f**k off. Then he’ll go to Karl Rove, who’ll tell him to f**k off. Then he’ll go to Fox News, do two episodes of a call-in show that will be immediately cancelled. Then he’ll do a few commercials that decrease the products’ sales. Then he’ll go to Jenna and Not-Jenna, begging for beer money. They will tell him to f**k off. Then he will fatally swallow brake fluid and a pretzel. Then he will knock on heaven’s gate. St. Peter will tell him to go to hell. Satan will tell him to f**k off.

  • Okay, I’ll play along. What will our platitude president do? I see him returning to his ranch – clearing brush day after day, muttering “Got to stay the course, got to stay the course, got to stay the course.”

  • He’ll put in an appearance on “The Apprentice”, get booted in the first round and go back to the ranch to play Bunco with Laura, Harriet, Karen and whoever drops by the ranch.

    But I like the prison scenarios best. License plates by George.

  • Am I the only one who wonders why he’s always
    clearing brush on his “ranch?”

    Anyway, I don’t know the specifics, but I do
    know that he’ll continue his free ride along
    the road of life.

    And history will never have the guts to
    reveal the truth about his abominable
    presidency.

    I can’t think of any human being less
    deserving of the fantastically charmed
    life that was choreographed for him
    from cradle to grave. This is intelligent
    design? I call it a sick, cosmic joke.

  • Where do they keep international prisoners? I can imagine him, Cheney, Rice, Rummy, Wolfie and Perle will be sent to the Hague to face war crime trials.

    Or he will be impeached or quit. I have ten bucks that Cheney will not be leaving on Jan. 20, 2009 and a buck that Bush won’t either. If he avoids prison, he will drink himself to an early grave. Good riddance.

  • Alibubba – I love your prognotication.

    hark – He clears brush because he’s got nothing else to do there. He’s afraid of all animals other than a whipped dog. In fact, I think he clears brush because (1) it requires no skill or intelligence and (2) Ronald Reagan used to do it on his ranch in California. Difference is (1) Reagan actually looked good doing it, and (2) Reagan was doing it years before it became a photo-op for him — I’m certain Bush quits clearing the second the lights go off, just as he quit worrying about New Orleans as soon as they turned off the generators which backlit his speech from there.

  • His family will arrange for him to be ‘paid’ for something. But he will ‘do’ nothing.

    Aside from his fitness fetish, only campaigning seems to interest him. And I just don’t see many campaign opportunities in his future.

    I’m sorry that I won’t get a chance to see how history views him. I used to think that Reagan and Clinton’s popularity is what opened the door to public rehabilitation. But Grant was spectacularly popular and widely respected and is unfairly remembered as a corrupt drunkard. Who is to say that Shrub won’t be transformed by future generations from corrupt drunkard to ‘effective leader’?

    -jjf

  • Quits in December 2006 (after the Dems win back the Senate and the House, leaves Laura, hooks up with his old boyfriend in …. Louisville? Memphis? Gets AIDS, but dies of alcoholism first. All wishful thinking, you understand.

  • My theory is that they will have to hide him. Because he will still have to be controlled and watched very carefully, as he can’t be trusted to speak on his own. God knows what he would say. They will probably have to keep him in the top floor of a seedy, desolate hotel and give him lots of pretzels, booze, a tricycle and porn movies. Oh, and maybe we shall see him on the cover of The Enquirer or The Star every once in a while where he will be shown visiting with Elvis, or dancing with Marilyn, or helping Kristy Alley lose weight. I think he will be a royal pain in the ass to the Republican party.

  • Wouldn’t be surprised to see him become Commissioner of Major League Baseball. The current one, Bud Selig, is a moron. Bush would be a nice fit for the job.

  • He’ll be the first ex-president to break the taboo of criticizing the current office holder. He’ll go around the country badmouthing the current president and complain about how he’s been dissed by the intelligencia. So basically he’ll continue to do what he’s always done. Avoid taking responsibility for his actions, surround himself with sycophants, and complain about how hard done by he is.

  • Malcom Ford in post # 18 suggested W might have a future in pornographic film. Yuck. Imagine scanning the rack of your favorite local adult video store only to find titles like:

    “Weapons Of Ass Destruction”

    “The West Wang”

    “The Devil In Miss Beasley”

    “All-Male The Chief”

    “Dubya Does Dallas”

    Scary.

  • If I had to hazard a guess as to what Dubya might do after his term is up, I’d say the most likely scenario would involve him trying to become the new Billy Graham.

    No matter what he tries to do with the rest of his life, even money says he’ll eventually wind up in a mental hospital.

  • After reading all of the above, I think W has about as much chance of being commissioner of MLB as Condi has of being commissioner of the NFL. Which is slim to none. Actually, I would give better odds to Condi. Those are semi real jobs, after all, that require some degree of competence (I know, I know…). Also, the other owners know W personally. I won’t happen.

    I also agree that he’ll continue to be a darling of the far/religious right. If for no other reason than they hate to admit that they were wrong. He’ll make money from it but he doesn’t need to. He is from a billionaire family, after all. As I said before, I don’t think he feels he owes anything to anyone, even his own heirs, and his lack of loyalty to those who did so much to help him in the past elections might just shock them. We’ll see.

    I just don’t think he’ll do that much post presidency, compared to other recent past presidents (except Reagan, but he was old). He’s just not “a man in full” as the others are (which must drive his father crazy – or give him great satisfaction).

  • George Bush’s job prospects will be slim. Any company that placed him on their board would be inviting the IRS, FBI, and FTC to group-grope them. Can you picture this guy as the spokesman for YOUR products? He’d be reduced to hawking cheesy commemorative plates on late-nite television. Look for him to e-bay Saddam’s pistol early-on, as the Secret Service won’t allow him to carry it loaded in public. He’ll start spending more time in town instead of “cutting brush”, hanging out in the general store, signing the increasinly rare autograph – and in a burst of entreneurial genius, he has his Secret Service contingent sell “George Bush’s Lemon Flavored Freedom Juice” to curious tourists for a buck-fifty-a-pop.

  • I wouldn’t be terribly surprised if he sold the ranch immediately after leaving office. It was created as a campaign prop, and he only cuts brush there because he’s an adreniline junkie; switched to that after the booze was no longer an option. You can work up a sweat anywhere, but who knows, maybe he really does like the place.

    Whether he stays on the ranch or not, assuming he leaves office under his own power, I think the Gerald Ford/golf/fade to obscurity option is the most likely.

  • Depends on whether he leaves office or is forced from it in disgrace– or prosecuted afterwards.

    If he beats the rap, he will finally get the job he has always wanted and was born to have (as suggested above): Commissioner of Baseball. I also think he’d actually do a good job at it. It’s what he was born to do. Presidentin’ is hard work. Hobnobbing with baseball players and being a prick is easy.

    Speaking of prick, he’ll also probably join his dad at Carlyle group et all. He’ll keep his foot in the oil industry too– I doubt he’ll be able to get far away from it due to pressures from family and friends.

    Speaking of hard work, Shrub has no aversion to it– as long as it is *physical* work. He’s a fitness nut, and adrenaline junkie. He clears brush because it is physically demanding and mindless, just like him. He did it before he ran for preznit and he’ll continue to do it after. Of course he looks like a tool compared to Reagan– he *is* a tool compared to Reagan (no easy feat either!). But I think his love of physical exercise is genuine, and is basically a substitute for drinking.

    If he goes down in disgrace, then, well, I dunno. Where’s Jimmy Swaggart these days? Jim and Tammy Faye Bakker? I agree with the poster above who predicts he’ll go fly around the country doing the wingnut tour. Going from tent-revival to tent-revival.

    Regardless, I totally agree that this dickhead will not respect *any* conventions of decorum, including not criticising current presidents. He’ll be a pain in the ass to all future preznits… and due to his physical fitness expect him to live to a ripe old age.

  • PhilW’s “What does he do now??” is a gem.

    Rereading the posts, I notice that “clearing brush” is a recurring theme. What is it about clearing brush with this guy? I mean can’t he afford to hire somebody to do that so that he can devote time to more important work such as busting clods or pruning tumbleweed?

    Clearing brush. You’d think it would be cleared by now. Does his ranch have five years worth of brush? Why didn’t he buy a brush-free ranch? Why can’t he get the EPA to lend him some deadly herbicides? One good crop duster application should do the job. And he could ride along in his flight suit.

    Somehow I just can’t see Tony Blair clearing brush. Or Chirac. Or Kim Jung Il. Castro, maybe.

    Anybody else have any insight on this anal-compulsive, idiot savant clearing brush business?

  • Brush clearing is strictly a photo op activity. The brush clearing starts just before the camera gets there and ends as soon as the cameras are put away. It’s nothing more than a Reaganesque maneuver. As of January 21, 2008, there will be no more brush clearing. Hint: the Christianity will dissapear about the same time too.

  • goatchowder — Just thought that you might be interested in knowing that Jim Bakker has resurfaced on the airwaves. He is broadcasting on the UPN network from Branson Mo (not far from where I live), along with his plastic looking wife.

    His show has come on a few times while I was up late at night. Bakker started out his spiel saying that he never asks for money. By the end of the show he was doing the same old song and dance, crying about how desparate he is for money, and hurry please send some cash.

    I think that this would be a great job for old Georgie being the emcee for Bakker.

  • Scenario 1: Chokes on pretzel and strokes out in ’06. Twenty years later the agent who was in charge of security that night is seen to wink as he says, “Heimlich maneuver? What’s that?”

    Scenario 2: Tries doing the Rush Limbaugh Show as substitute guest host. Does it once, but begs off after being stunned by hostile questions from callers. Tries his hand at public speaking, but only to vetted audiences. Gives a speech for $12 million in Saudi Arabia, and gives two more stateside, both of which he spends trying to justify his Iraq actions. However, he cannot raise enough of an audience for his fourth attempt, as no one wants to hear him on Iraq any more. Spends the next few years supposedly getting his presidential library just right, but it’s “hard work”. Retreats to a lifetime of clearing brush, exercising, and hosting afternoon barbecues at the ranch, and spends evenings commiserating with Laura about how it would have been good to accomplish more with his presidency, but it was such hard work, and those evil liberal democrats kept thwarting him at every turn. Laura always says, “well, you did the best you could, George, and it’s not your fault if they didn’t appreciate you.” Within ten years, bedtime creeps up to 8:25 PM. Then breaks leg in freak brush-clearing accident, and can no longer exercise. Becomes addicted to pain killers, and while under the influence accidentally backs a pick-up over Laura. Without Laura, he becomes lost in his addiction, and retreats totally from public life.

  • Hopefully he’ll spend the rest of his life reading to the other inmates when he’s not sitting there with his mouth gaping open resembling a Rhesus monkey.

  • He and Mike Brown could go down to New Orleans and start a construction company while he waits for trial.

  • This is a great topic. Sort of like a Christmas wish list. How about Shrub avoids prison on an insanity plea and the Republicans pay him to go around and endorse and campaign for Democrats they don’t like.

    What I’ld really like to see is Shrub, Cheney, Rumsfeld and the rest of his little group all in solitary confinement with their cells all in one common hallway. We’ll get the NY cops that stuck the lamp up their suspect’s rear end to do daily strip and body cavity searches on the entire Shrub Gang. Picture them in orange jump suits.

  • Following Brownie’s example, he’ll start his own consulting firm. He’ll get hired by the Iraqis, thinking he’s there to give them pointers about running a democracy. In reality, they’ll keep him around as a court jester/village idiot. The ruling junta will charge its friends for tickets to see him say “we don’t torture” before putting him into re-enactments of favorite Abu Gharib photos.

  • He’s not going to be impeached: he’ll finish out the term if his liver holds out. As long as Cheney is alive (not necessarily very long), he’s not going to be indicted; if he is, he’s not going to be convicted; if he is, the conviction will be overturned once it hits the Sub-preme Court; if it isn’t, President Obama, graciously, will pardon him as a courtesy.

    So private life it is. I think he’ll be given a do-nothing, no-power job with a fancy title at Carlyle, and be a do-nothing, no-power figurehead Commissioner of Baseball. He’ll fail at both, free-fall from the one and be eased quietly out of the other – I’m not sure which will be which, or which will be first.

    Eventually, he’ll die a pathetic and soggy death, matching his life. Shortly thereafter, Divine reckoning – and that conversation would be a fascinating one to eavesdrop on!

  • I disagree with Smiley. MLB owners want a compliant commish. After watching what Cheney et al. did with Bush for 8 years, they will know they have their man.

  • He’s going to go back to Crawford and clear brush. Truly. He has no interest in or specialty with any particular causes/policies that will keep him on the road. And anyway he prefers to be at home, in Crawford to being anwhere else. Did he ever leave the country before coming president? What percentage of his presidency has he spent in Crawford? Crawford is his comfort zone and he doesn’t like to vere to much from his comfort zone (witness his appearances on TV shows when the questions get too hard i.e. less scripted).

  • It’s a pretend ranch, isn’t it? Unless I’m mistaken, there’s no animals there except his dog, and no crops. Just brush that needs to be cleared to protect the imaginary cows.

    How childish is it for a grown man to pretend he’s running a ranch? And why do liberals let him get away with it?

    If Clinton pretended he was a cowboy fighting Indians in his spare time, we’d hear no end to it.

  • Speaking of his no-animals “ranch” did anyone else see the subtly-snarky CNN article about his trip to Mongolia? His handlers claimed he tried Mongolian food (as they try to make up for the embarassment of the South Korea Outback Steakhouse thing), but the article notes that “reporters were kept outside and could not watch.” Then they say “Bush checked out the camels but stopped short as he approached, saying he did not want to be spit on.”

    One thing for sure, whatever he does, it won’t involve animals or eating anything more unusual than barbeque.

  • Well there is lots of room for humor here, but I actually believe he’ll become a super right wing political fund raising machine.

    Styled after Arnold Palmer he’ll become a wing nut energizing, right wing votes mobilizing and pro business cash generating machine. He’ll surround himself with groupies that look at him like Manson’s followers did, and will be one of the most successful and powerful (if dilusional)grand poobas of the Republican Party.

    That’s just what I think.

  • Commissioner of baseball? Oh lord, isn’t ruining the country and the world enough without ruining BASEBALL too? I don’t think my soul could bear it.

    Please, if it’s not prison, let him just putter around the ‘ranch’.

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