Taco takeover: Illegal immigrants coming at us through our stomachs

Guest Post by Morbo

Everyone’s favorite right-wing, Messiah-owned newspaper, The Washington Times, keeps a close eye on those pesky Mexicans for us.

Recently, the paper’s “Inside the Beltway” column noted that President George W. Bush has softened somewhat on his opposition to a fence along the Mexican border. Bush now says he might back about 370 miles of fencing but no more.

Writer John McCaslin followed up that report with an odd observation: People in this country eat a lot of Mexican food.

Meanwhile, we learned yesterday that as more and more Mexicans — illegal or otherwise — continue to flood into the United States, the demand for indigenous Mexican food and beverages is increasing to the point that it has become a ‘booming’ industry, both for suppliers in Mexico and distributors in this country.

According to the firm Market Research, the Mexican food industry in the United States is estimated at $52 billion and growing, with seven in 10 surveyed households using Mexican food and ingredients.

I guess I’m supposed to think this is ominous — and if I were a regular reader of the xenophobic Times, perhaps I would. The Mexicans are taking over! They and their food are running amok! Is no one safe? What about our children? Will someone please think of the children?!

Yes, those crafty Mexicans. They come bearing strange new spices and peppers. But the rather mundane fact that more and more people are enjoying Mexican cuisine fails to alarm me. Personally, I love Mexican food — and as far as I know I don’t have a drop of Mexican blood in me. My guess is that many of those seven out of 10 homes that regularly buy “Mexican food and ingredients” don’t have a single Hispanic person in them. After all, that’s a pretty broad term and would encompass anyone who picked up even something as tame as an Old El Paso burrito kit at the local Safeway.

Perhaps more people are enjoying Mexican food. So what? This may come as a surprise to the Times, but let me lay it out there: People often eat the food of other cultures. A lot of it tastes good, and it’s a way of expanding your horizons and enjoying some fine eats at the same time.

If The Times is trying to fill me with dread of a coming Hispanic takeover, it will have to do better than this. Judging by the lines I see at the Mexican restaurants in my area — and the ever-expanding waistlines of much of the clientele at them — Americans have already surrendered on the Mexican food front, figuring if you can’t beat them, at least enjoy their tasty dishes.

A friend of mine taught me a really great, really easy layered dip recipe if you’re interested. (I think that addresses this absurd argument with about the appropriate level of seriousness.)

Also, what about those damn illegal Japanese immigrants? The popularity of sushi has exploded several fold over the last few years; we’re obviously under cultural siege. Then again, I suppose the Times has a pretty solid self-interested reason not to mention this.

  • ¡Qué lástima! [What a tragedy!] The Department of Homeland Security was just about to bust this massive threat to Our Beloved English-Only Country. One more shipment of refritos (refried beans) and we’d have reached critical mass for our planned fart gasout of the Nueva York [pron. “noo-eh-ba jork”, New York] subway system. Then you, Boslor de la Alfombra [Carpet Bagger], had to go and spill the beans, so to speak.

  • Clearly, the future of our Republic demands we build a wall around every Taco Bell in the country.

  • Here’s a few more “fear issues” for the WaPo to peddle.

    It is a known fact that better than 99% of Americans read a newspaper “other than the WaPo.”

    The vast majority of Americans have never set foot “inside the Beltway”—and probably have no crushing, insatiable desire to do so.

    Many Americans with shrubbery in their yards remove said landscaping and burn it. Such an act could suggest the “domesitc burning of the President in effigy.”

    The majority of Americans do not have a picture of George W. Bush in their homes—and probably do not want one.

    A large number of Americans speak Canadian, watch Canadian TV, listen to Canadian radio broadcasts, drive cars manufactured (at least partially) in Canada, buy Canadian lumber products, spend money on vacations to Canada, and consume other Canadian products on a daily basis.

    Maybe the WaPo would have us slap a fence around Canada….

  • A conspiracy of Salsa and Taco shells?

    What next? Will they start pushing drinking rain water and grain alcohol to protect the purity of our essence?

  • Watch Out! Them Born Again Gay Muslum Mexican Terrorists are comin’ to gitcha!

  • I have no problem with Mexicans (illegal, maybe). I have a problem with over-spiced, fatty, starchy Mexican food (definitely). The biggest problem that I have is with Americans bitching about Mexicans and loving their food. If you accept over-spiced, fatty, starchy Mexican food, you ought be able those pesky Mexicans.

  • As somebody who loves Pakistani food — to the point of having 20 different Shan Masalas on my spice shelf — and considers that Pakistani Pop music has been among the best music in the world for 15 years — and I don’t speak any Urdu, but check out Vital Signs, Najam Shiraz, Saleem Javed, Aaroh, Awaz, just to mention a few older acts, haven’t kept up with the new ones — I can testify I’ve neither been tempted to enter a Mosque or fight any Indians recently — and I still love pork, alcohol, and various sexual diversions that are DEFINITELY haram. The great advantage of living in a place like Brooklyn is you have the chance to enjoy all the foods in the world.

  • And now “they’re” going after American television.

    “George Lopez Show”

    “Mind of Mencia”

    Eva Longoria on “Desperate Housewives”

    “They” tried to gain control of American television back with “Chico and the Man”, and would have succeeded if not for the timely death of Freddie Prinze.

    Thank God we have the Moony Times to keep vigilance over us.

  • Considering that most of the supposed Mexican food in my area is mostly tex-mex and that my state congressman is a transplanted Texan, I think I detect a nefarious plot to overrun southwest Missouri by Texans.

    Does anyone know how many Taco Bell restaurants were in D.C. before it was overrun by Delay, Bush, and other similar Texas cretins? I say let’s build a wall across the northern border of Texas before anymore of these politcal terrorists escape.

  • And Edward Jmes Olmos commands “Battlestar Gallactica.” We are truly fucked.

  • Uh, Steve, that’s the Washington Times, not the Post.

    Also, lots of Americans have set foot inside the Beltway, or want to — as tourists. We have to veer around them every day on our sidewalks and the Metro. I don’t have any statistics on exactly how many have been here, though.

    In any case, I resent the aspersions you cast on inside-the-Beltway dwellers. Most of us are very nice people and may hate Bush and Cheney more than you do. After all, they don’t mess up your traffic very often, or blast your apartment with sirens as they head up Connecticut Avenue traveling between their undisclosed locations.

  • KC—sorry about the Po/Times debacle. And as for the beltway, I know a lot of folks who simply don’t want to go there any more—period. There are also a lot of people who don’t want to go, never wanted to go, and never want to go inside the beltway. The “aspersion” is not directed at the people; it is directed at the geographic location itself. I know guys who were in ‘Nam—and cannot visit the Wall, because of their deeply rooted feelings against Washington itself. I know people who were at Kent State—and Jackson State—and plenty of other college campuses during ‘Nam. I know a good many of the Amish here in Ohio—they have absolutely no need for a federal authority in their lives. Not everyone cares for DC. Again, it ain’t the people—it’s the place itself….

  • “And now “they’re” going after American television: ‘Mind of Mencia'” – 2Manchu

    I’ve only caught Mencia’s monologue a few times, but believe me, he rips on immigrants unwilling to acculturize to America far more than he rips on anti-immigrate dips.

    Carlos rules!

    “The reason this man can’t get a better “position” is that there is no ‘Y’ in “Job”.” – Carlos Mencia

  • Comments are closed.