Guest Post by Morbo
Lots of articles are written about gay people, but the ones that probably most drive Religious Right leaders like James Dobson and Pat Robertson crazy are stories that portray gays as what they are – just plain folks.
The New York Times Magazine ran a piece like this last week. Benoit Denizet-Lewis’ article examined the mini-trend of young gay men entering into legal marriages in Massachusetts. The men interviewed talked about things like buying homes, raising children, having friends over for dinner, etc.
Yawn. It sounded familiar because it is. When my wife and I married 16 years ago, we talked about the same things — and then did them. Of course, launching our life together was meaningful and powerful for us and our loved ones, but the rest of the world just snoozed through it, and rightly so. We were simply starting down a well-trod path. I can’t even begin to imagine how many other couples were married on the same day we were.
I’m not shocked that many gay couples want to go down that path as well, and it saddens me that so many Americans are determined to block them. Consider R. Albert Mohler Jr., president of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, who can’t deal with same-sex marriage.
Oddly enough, Mohler picked up on one of the central themes of the article, writing on his blog:
Denizet-Lewis goes into great detail about the lives, loves, and expectations of some of these male couples. Some readers will want to look at the romantic details and see the similarities with heterosexual romance and marriage.
So far so good. Mohler even adds, “One facet of this story is how ‘normal’ some of these couples want to appear.”
But of course Mohler is a right-wing Southern Baptist, so it is an article of faith for him that while gays may want to appear normal, they are not.
The tragedy of same-sex marriage is not the awkwardness and strangeness revealed in this article, but the repudiation of that picture. That repudiation represents a great loss and confusion — but it also represents a violation of God’s command concerning marriage.
Awkward and strange? The gay couples profiled are exactly the opposite of that. As I said, they’re kind of dull. What is so strange about a same-sex couple going down to the mall to buy furnishings for their home? Why is that awkward?
Gays can’t win with guys like Mohler. If they play the field, they are branded as promiscuous and irresponsible. The Religious Right goes nuts. When they settle down and say they’d like to get married, they are accused of perverting heterosexual norms. The Religious Right goes nuts. Other than become straight, nothing gay people do will please Mohler.
I’d like to tell Mohler this: Gays don’t want to appear normal. They are normal. At the end of the day, many gay couples want what most everyone wants: a nice place to live and friends to hang out with. They want nice neighbors and a decent standard of living. They want a partner, someone to grow old with. Some want children. They want the same life, usually a rather routine and predictable one, that most of us take for granted.
So perhaps gay couples aren’t so “awkward” and “strange” after all. Maybe it’s people like Mohler who are.