The GOP’s savior?

Rank-and-file Republicans clearly aren’t satisfied with their already-enormous presidential field. Shortly after Fred Thompson’s announcement, activists started wondering whether David Petraeus might be available. Or maybe Jeb. Or even Newt.

Well, wait no more. The savior of the Republican Party has arrived.

After two previous runs for U.S. president, former Reagan diplomat Alan Keyes has announced he’s again seeking the White House in the 2008 election, and he’ll take part in Monday night’s Republican presidential debate here.

Keyes told syndicated radio host Janet Parshall he’s “unmoved” by the lack of moral courage shown by the other candidates, among whom he sees no standout who articulates the “key kernel of truth that must, with courage, be presented to our people.”

He added, “The one thing I’ve always been called to do is to raise the standard … of our allegiance to God and His authority that has been the foundation stone of our nation’s life” – and he decried the lack of “forthright, clear, and clarion declaration” from the current crop of presidential contenders.

As a result, Keyes said, “We’re putting together an effort that’s not going to be like anything before, because it’s going to be entirely based on citizen action. We’re going to be challenging people to take a pledge for America’s revival,” and elevate them from spectators in the political arena to participants.

At a minimum, the debates should be more lively — assuming Keyes will be invited onto the stage.

Keyes has been dropping hints in this direction for a while now, and he’s apparently drafted himself into the race.

Given his record, we should expect the kind of insane rhetoric from Keyes that would make a Freeper blush. Keyes:

* upon earning his GOP Senate nomination in 2004, announced, “The victory is for God.”

* said a Republican senator who admitted to listening to Nine Inch Nails was “aiding and abetting cultural murder.”

* likened his Senate opponent to a “terrorist” because of his positions on abortion.

* said that Vice President Dick Cheney’s daughter is participating in “selfish hedonism” because she is a lesbian.

* and mysteriously described political corruption this way: “It’s sort of like you’re sitting in a room and off in a corner of the room is a deeply smelly toad that is filling the room with a nasty odor. And everybody is holding their cocktails and wearing their ties and they’re not talking about this smelly toad but the room is filled with the stink of it.”

What will he say next? Who knows? Keyes is just an unpredictable character.

Let it never be said that the GOP doesn’t have a deep bench – of buffoons.

  • Yeah, he’s the one in 2004 who said that “Jesus wouldn’t vote for Barack Obama.” Obama of course beat the crap out of him in that senate race.

    Just imagine what a rematch at the national level would look like!

  • “What will he say next? Who knows? Keyes is just an unpredictable character.”
    My, he certainly is a colorful character. Pass the champagne darling and let us proceed. WTF…You know what Keyes is yet you dismiss him so lightly. He’s a fanatic and an embarrassment and it’s insulting that he feels he is representative of anything but a very small portion of Americans.

    Proving that once again people think that because they have money they must be important. The GOP presidential field is already crowded with self serving, self centered , self righteous political pygmies that one more bigot shouldn’t matter. But Keyes is a loudmouth fanatic who gives glory to God after he pees. How many more of these narrow minded, condescending smear machines have to jump into the GOP field before republicans say okay, enough…no more allowed…our party can’t take it.
    The next election will do what most Americans can barely wait for…rid us of republicans. Republicans have brought it on themselves with their “I’d rather not be part of something I don’t believe in because it doesn’t work and I’ll prove it to you” and they have proved it is the truth whenever they are involved.

    Time for dems to straighten out their mess… again…if that’s possible this time.

  • The comic potential here is almost endless: it will just take one of Keyes’ fellow Republican would-be Christatollahs to mention that his own daughter sips from the cup of Sapphic delights.

    My money’s on Brownshirt. He’s the sort of miserable little worm who would shiv Keyes on this, though more likely through disavowable blind quote or supporter’s statement than straight-on denunciation.

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  • Keyes will be fun to watch, but I’m kind-a surprised at your:
    […] their already-enormous presidential field.

    I pay much less attention to “theirs” than “mine”, but, IIRC, the lists are:
    Reps
    1) Brownback, 2) Huckabee, 3) Hunter, 4) Giuliani, 5) Mc Cain, 6) Paul, 7) Romney and 8) Thompson (or is the other Thompson still running, making it 9?)
    Dems
    1) Biden, 2) Clinton, 3) Dodd, 4) Edwards, 5) Gravel, 6) Kucinich, 7) Obama and 8) Richardson.

    Not a whole lot of difference in the field *size*; quality — yes, size — no.

  • When I saw the headline, I assumed that the “GOP’s Savior” must refer to Jesus Christ, because they all claim to follow his teachings. I’m sure that all of us remember Jesus – he seems to be best known these days as George W. Bush’s favorite political philosopher. But Jesus said a lot of silly things about helping the least among us. Bush and his fellow Republicans don’t seem to be very familiar with that part of their savior’s philosophy.

    Actually, Alan Keyes will help the other candidates when he enters the race. He will make them seem sensible by comparison.

  • Well this is the best news I’ve heard in a while! The gop’s insanity will be out there in all it’s wingnuttery glory for all of America to see. Keys is a crazy, frenetic troglodyte. I wonder what he thinks of McCain’s, Giuliani’s and Thompson’s adultery. I hope someone asks Keys about their marital transgression at Monday’s CNN/YouTube debate.

  • At least we’ll hear a lot about the keys to the kingdom. The entertainment value will be great. If Keyes weren’t black the Christianists would indeed have their savior. At least he’s not a plastic cutout. He’s an original demogogue. Elmer Gantry where are you?

  • Keyes is still waiting for Iraq to surrender. I don’t think that will go far. Republicans are split on whether to continue the occupation as though it is a war on terrorism or stop encouraging the growth of al Qaeda by our presence and leave. The notion that we must beat Iraq will simply puzzle people.

  • Alan Keyes has a Lesbian daughter. Further, this daughter alleges that Mr. Family values threw her out of the family home, refused to talk to her, and refused to pay for her college, all because she was gay.

    Yet, the Wikipedia page, found here has absolutely nothing to say of the whole situation. Has the Keyes campaign been editing the Wikipedia article to hide this truly embarrassing fact? Or has one of his admirers been overzealous in protecting their candidate, going so far as to erase the existence of his gay child?

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